Week 8 Sundry: Texas Tech Edition

It's meltdown time

Yes, every once in a while you need to read something other than Barking Carniecosm for daily sustenance. And if you're not familiar with this feature at rollbamaroll, you're missing out.

BRING BACK FRAN!!!

Fran knew how to protect a pussy defense. Sherman calls 0 like his D is as stout as the 38th parallel

In a year anything worse than 11-1 was a total failure, now we're hoping for 7-5

Bevo will horn fuck us one last time on our way out the door

At least Mizzou has one guaranteed win in the SEC... Aggie

Sherman is a bigger swindler than Bernie Madoff

We're joining the SEC playing like we're in the Sun Belt

Oklahoma will beat us like we built some tipis (an SEC teepee?) on their land

What third world destination do I need to be searching for cheap flights?

Old Army...... New Army.... we play like the fucking French Army

We can't fire Sherman, we'll fall apart just like the Packers did

No worries fellas, once we add LSU and Bama to the schedule every year we'll be unstoppable

Watching our defense in the second half is like watching an old man try to get a hard-on without his Viagra

KD is bored and wants to play your fraternity's flag football team.

That's pretty damn cool. And yet another reason to follow him on Twitter. You never know when he may want to hang out. And he's going to be pretty damn bored when the NBA lockout extends into 2012 and half the season is canceled, if not all of it. For the record, KDQB1 went 4 TD/1 INT and snagged three picks playing defense. KD always gets his. Next up, Team @KingJames.

Bama vs LSU tale of the tape:

	LSU	Alabama
All-Time Series Record	24-45-5	45-24-5
Consecutive Weeks in the AP Top 25	41 and counting.	59 and counting.
Coach	Weird enough to eat grass.	Wired enough to eat glass.
Coach’s Bête Noire	Clock management.	NFL
Record vs. Nick Saban (10)	3-2	1-4
Best Win In Series History	Beating ‘Bama and Saban 41-34 in 2007, on way to national title	Beating LSU 3-0 in 1979 in Charley McClendon’s last year, on way to national title.
NCAA Probationary Status	On it until July 2012	On it until June 2012
Quarterback	Who?	Who?
Score Against Florida	41-11	38-10
Score Against Tennessee	38-7	37-6
Best Defensive Stat	Hasn’t allowed more than one touchdown in an SEC game.	Hasn’t allowed a second-half point since September.
Dopes	Tyrann Mathieu, Spencer Ware, Tharold Simon	Brent Calloway
Defensive Pest	Tyrann Mathieu (11) (when eligible)	Courtney Upshaw (12) (when motivated)
Offensive Beast	Receiver Rueben Randle (13), with 14 catches for 319 yards and four touchdowns in the last three games.	Running back Trent Richardson (14), the nation’s No. 2 scorer, No. 7 rusher and No. 1 most painful player to tackle.
Don’t Mention	Will Lyles	T-Town Menswear
Bad 2010 Memory	Cam Newton	Cam Newton
Fan Fashion	Beads	Houndstooth
Natural Disaster Endured	Hurricane Katrina	Spring tornadoes
SEC Titles	10 (1935, ’36, ’58, ’61, ’70, ’86, ’88, 2001, ’03, ’07)	22 (1933, ’34, ’37, ’45, ’53, ’61, ’64, ’65, ’66, ’71, ’72, ’73, ’74, ’75, ’77, ’78 , ’79, ’81, ’89, ’92, ’99, 2009)
Losing Seasons	27 (Last in 1999)	11 (Last in 2003)
Iconic Play	The Halloween punt return by Billy Cannon (15), 1959.	Stuffing Penn State on fourth-and-goal, 1979.
Don’t Mention II	Shady’s	Harvey Updyke (16)
CDC National Obesity Ranking	T-45th (31.7 percent of the population)	49th (33 percent of the population)
Guv Only They Could Love	Huey Long	George Wallace
Dash Prediction For Saturday	13	14

Get the stretchers ready.

I'll take the Mad Hatter and the points due to better QB play, the emergence of Reuben Randle, and more playmaking afletes on D. The 11 a.m. kickoff for the Texas/Tech game guarantees a solid ten hour binge of college football gluttony come Saturday. ColoradoAg will help you fill in the gaps tomorrow with the world famous BC Weekly Viewing Guide.

This is your chance to re-name the Big East.

Already on Spencer's ballot:

The Fun Belt
Grimm's Football Tales
Seven Animals, Two RenFair Extras, Two Soldiers, And One Drunk Survivalist
The Aristocrats
YOUR AD HERE
Velvet Revolver
The Ass Menagerie
Pho 54 Restaurant (And Football Conference)
BEAST COAST BIAS
Carbon Profilebottom Nightmare Band

Let's add:

Get Sum Dim BCS Sum
Mid Atlantic Mock Turtleneck Footballing & Yachting Club
Rich Rodriguez Sounds Pretty Good Right About Now
Appalachian Roadside IED Leftovers
Mike Leach's Very Own Conference (if he'll have us)

Transfer Fever

As dedfischer predicted a month ago, Garrett Gilbert is transferring to SMU. Good fit for all parties.

Former Daingerfield WR Chris Jones has announced his transfer the 40 Acres. That's generally a good idea when you can't crack the two deep at a position that only has three guys in the actual rotation, one of whom is a freshman starter. Watch Arkansas turn him into Cobi Hamilton II.

Rumors swirl that Traylon Shead may also be a transfer candidate. Probably a good idea if he wants playing time because there won't be a lot of carries left over by the power troika of Brown, Bergeron & Gray next year.

Texas' remaining targets for 2012 are Landon Collins, Arik Armstead, Andrus Peat, Nelson Agholor, Donald Hawkins, Corey Coleman, Adrian Colbert, Daje Johnson, Torshiro Davis, and Daniel Brooks. Land one more stud, any two of the DBs, and call it a day.

Might we see David Ash throw multiple downfield completions greater than 15 yards on Saturday?

The Red Raiders just lost their best player in the secondary, Terrence Bullitt, who separated his shoulder against Iowa State. Filling in for him at safety will be 5'10, 178 lb senior Jared Flanel, who will never be called silky smooth but logged an impressive 9 tackles, one TFL and a FF in backup duty against Iowa State. He'll get his first start on Saturday after logging special teams snaps over the past three years.

Tech is also starting a former wide receiver, Shawn Corker, at cornerback on Saturday against Texas. Lick your chops, Bryan Harsin, then pull up some youtube clips of Titus Young running wild on the blue turf and dream a little dream. The Red Raiders rank 114th nationally against the run, so expect another heavy dose of B&B; and WildOreo, but Ash should have some opportunities to make some big plays in the passing game. Does he convert them? At least one? It's always nice to have a backup ... just in case ... but you never really want to have to play him.

After a week 7 hiatus, the BC / Cosm tailgate is back despite permanent liver damage and will be firing Kalashnikovs into the sky (Guns up, yes?!) no later than 8 a.m. If you can't hear the gunfire, here's the map. All Tech fans will be required to perform an on-site Syphilis test prior to drinking our free beer. Jesus will be on site healing the sick, as well as those still convinced Case McCoy deserves to be starting. Tipsy will be grilling something freshly caught out of Waller Creek. Eat at your own risk.

HOOK THEM RED RAIDAZ