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Two unnamed Texas players dined with agent, Longhorns will receive Death Penalty

Charlie Strong is losing this program!

Jamie Squire

The AAS is reporting that two unnamed Texas players had dinner with Andre.  Nothing happened.  Wait - misread - it was an agent.

The report doesn't tell us who the players are, when it happened, what sort of agent it was (for example dining with a cleaning agent - say a bottle of Snuggles Extra Soft - is not a violation - I looked it up) how much was spent and where they ate.  Or even the likely penalty from the NCAA.

So let's take a stab at it here.

Winning entry receives an industrial pallet of Barking Carnival's signature cologne Le Tailgate.

My entry:

Players: Johnny Tseng & Blake Whiteley

Restaurant: Medieval Times

Cost: $904

Agent: Bob Sugar

NCAA Penalty:  Death penalty. All Longhorn scholarships voided, DKR turned into a communal agrarian project and the Longhorn Network re-programmed into a 24 hour light erotica channel.

Take your best shot.