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Nothing Means Anything: A Q&A with Rock Chalk Talk

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It's like, whatever.
It's like, whatever.
Sean Gallup/Getty Images

A month ago, I agreed to do a Q&A with SBNation sister site Rock Chalk Talk and it went pretty well, so well that they asked to do another one. Let's just say I was a bit less enthusiastic this time. (If you want to read my answers to his questions, check out the other half of the interview here.)

BWG: *slowly turns down Johnny Cash's cover of 'Hurt'*

Hey, so, I'm supposed to come up with 5 questions for this Q&A, I guess...so...

*lights menthol cigarette, dejectedly inhales*

I mean...

*slowly exhales*

So, that Perry Ellis is something, huh?

RCT: Sure is, ain't he?

BWG: Have you ever wondered why we're here? I mean, I know there's a point to life, but sometimes it just seems like we're just cogs in a big machine and nothing we do really matters. You grow up, you get out of school, you work until you're too old to really travel, and then you die...probably alone. Life's so fragile, a successful virus clinging to a speck of mud, suspended in endless nothing. Any way, how's the conference championship race working out for you?

RCT: It an interesting experience this year. For example, I never thought I'd ever thank Scott Drew for something his team did on the basketball court. And the extra awareness this tough conference race has given me towards other teams this year lead to this gem I thought of yesterday:

Scott Drew, happy sloth
Jayhawks far and wide thank you
To the shock of all.

This year's been weird times...

BWG: I shaved my head last night after watching 'Fight Club' for the 7th time in a row, then I punched myself in the face.

*extinguishes menthol on my forearm*

It's the first time I've felt pleasure in a week. I'm sure it will fade soon, everything fades eventually. From the time we're born, we're starting to fade into obscurity & irrelevance, destined to be forgotten. Do you think you'll see much zone defense out of Texas in Lawrence, or mostly man?

RCT: To zone, or not to zone, that is the question....

Sometimes I zone while watching things. Usually uninteresting things, but not always. Like one time, I completely lost focus while watching Shark Week, and the scene changed from a guy sitting on a boat to being attacked while underwater in a cage. IN A CAGE, MAN!!  I mean, who does that crazy stuff?

Dude, what's in these brownies?  I just ate one, and now I'm hungry. Got any Funyuns?

BWG: I went to the SPCA to watch puppies play in the grass. They frolicked around, nipping at each other, barking with the delight of new eyes learning about the world for the first time. They're so full of hope, so eager to get out into the world and thrive. What's it like to have hope? How does it feel, thinking that every year is a new chance to end the season in anything other than a yawning diaspora of melancholy & inevitable solitude?

RCT: Dude, that's really deep. But I don't know this "hope" thing that you speak of. I mean, we know that KU basketball is going to be good every year, and I've been a Kansas football fan and Royals baseball fan for so long that any hope I have at the beginning of a season has been conditioned out of me.  I mean, after getting punched in the nuts so many times right out of the gate, it wouldn't take Pavlov's dogs too long to learn to cower in the corner every time a season starts, right?

BWG: I'm thinking of getting a tattoo of Brooks Hatlen on my chest. I'll get it in reverse, that way when I'm spending my usual 6 hours a day staring into the mirror I can think of the person I feel closest to in this world. I've captured a grackle & named him Jake. He bites me when I pet him, and it's the most rewarding interaction I have with any living thing any more. What's your prediction for the game Saturday?

RCT: Someone will win, someone will lose. Some will give cheers, and some will give boos. Or is that booze? I don't really care at this point. Something about a ball and a hoop, and some guys in bright colors running around and throwing things. The only thing I know for sure is that there will be no chicken-winging involved. Too bad, because chicken wings sound really good right now.....