David Robinson

April 1, 2025 exclusive to SBN

Sources close to the Athletic Department of the University of Texas at Austin revealed this morning that at the urging of Prince Ibeh, Conner Lammert, Shaq Cleare, and Cam Ridley the next basketball coach at the University will be David Robinson, LtJG ret., USN.

Later today, Robinson will sign a one year contract for an undisclosed sum.

When confronted with the report, Robinson neither confirmed nor denied it, but insisted that despite his lack of any coaching experience whatsoever he was certain he could handle the job. He noted that he could rely on the folks at PATFO for tips when he needed them. When asked, hypothetically, who would be his bench coaches, he mentioned promoting current assistant Jai Lucas, if he would stay, and added that he would approach Bruce Bowen as Defensive Coordinator and Manu Ginobili as Offensive Coordinator. Both Bowen and Ginobili would be expected to teach shooting from beyond the arc, in this arrangement. Robinson would provide leadership and "hands on" training for the big men in positioning, defense, passing to the open man out of the double team, and generally "playing tall".

AD Steve Patterson’s Office denied the report and denied leaking it (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). The Department specifically denied that spending less than a million dollars on a one year term contract was a driving factor in the choice. "Everyone loves the Admiral, and now his son will have a staff discount on his tuition, if we actually did this, which we are denying. It’s a win-win."