clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Need a Lyft? Kent Perkins Arrested for DWI

* Bangs head on desk *

By nobis60
Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Whether it comes on the heels of a stirring win or a demoralizing defeat, a bye week is a time for players to mix in a little relaxation but also to refocus, rededicate themselves and gear up for the road ahead.

Well, that or completely lose focus and get popped on the road in the wee hours::

Unsurprisingly, Charlie was unimpressed:

Once the facts have been gathered, you'd imagine that a suspension of some kind is likely.  "Don't Drink And Drive" isn't technically a Core Value, but it's right in the neighborhood and the language of that press release makes it clear that Charlie takes a dim view of this kind of accomplishment.

From a football standpoint, assuming that a suspension is pending it's nice to have an unanticipated asset in Alex Anderson on hand to step in to the right guard spot.  It's not so nice to have a potentially season-defining stretch against the Toothless Twosome on tap with guys like Vincent Taylor, Jordan Wade and Matt Dimon eager to barge into the backfield.  It's also not so nice to have this happen right as Perkins had turned in a good game following a spate of injury and iffy play to start 2016.  It's also ALSO not nice for a senior leader who's given no shortage of press avails and made several strong statements about leadership, focus and commitment to turn around and hand Strong this gift as he's trying to get the team ready to play winning football in Stillwater.

Any DUI arrest (or DUI injury accident or fatality, more on that in a bit) points up the idiocy of hamstringing the city's effective ride sharing services and leaving the citizens to deal with a slew of ham-fisted second-raters or scarce, semi-competent (and actually felonious) cab drivers.  With that said, there are still enough options out there for anyone - let alone a football player who likely doesn't lack for a social circle of people willing to take it easy and take the wheel in exchange for a chance to bask in the limelight - to not put themselves in this position.  So Perkins gets to take his medicine from Strong and from the legal system on this one.  Ideally Strong could do our legal system one better and employ the Sanity Scale in determining his dose of medicine, assuming that the info exists to make a judgement:

DWI SANITY SCALE (Scaled for football suspensions rather than legal consequence)

.08 - .10 - You are mildly intoxicated and find yourself in trouble due to a lowering of the DUI threshold that was driven by prohibitionism rather than data around who's actually contributing to injury and fatality accidents.  Sit a game, run til you puke - a lot - and apologize to your teammates for F'ing up.

.10 - .12 - You have officially crossed the threshold of what should legally constitute a DWII offense.  Automatic two-game suspension and outright hazing via a month of 5:30 AM "reminder sessions."

.12 - .14 - We're heading into SRS BZNS.  SEAL training-caliber physical punishment from the S&C coach, 3-4 game suspension and withering glares all around.

.15 or above:  You're raging pretty hard and have now reached the threshold where data actually shows you to be a significant danger to your fellow motorists.  Indefinite suspension and you'd better have some golden tales of redemption and a silver tongue to tell them with if you want back on the field.

Whatever the specifics of the incident and ultimate punishment, it's a bad decision, a bad look and bad timing all rolled into one.

Enjoy your weekend, everyone!  And don't drink excessively and drive.

More From Barking Carnival