Reasonably definitive proof of a higher power is that Chris Berman won’t be hosting the draft for ESPN this year, so expect minimal Buffalo Bills’ references, J-E-T-S spellings and the first pick will likely not be referred to as I Can See For Myles Garrett!
Unfortunately, proof that this higher power may have forsaken us some time after Caitlin Jenner was named sports damsel of the millennia is that ESPN will feature Jon Gruden offering fervent praise babble (“Here’s a guy you want on your football team! Here’s a guy who just plays football! Here’s a guy that just plays football on your football team if you draft him!”) and analysts Todd McShay and Mel Kiper Jr eye-daggering each other while describing every athlete as “sudden!”
I really do enjoy that Kiper and McShay utterly despise each other. It’s one of the few joys of the broadcast now that they have exiled Michael Irvin for his abuses of the English language and tendency to compare athletes to pit bulls or particularly resourceful hookers.
By contrast, the NFL Network will feature the effortless bonhomie of Rich Eisen complemented by the competent film study and refreshing lack of groupthinkiness of Mike Mayock and Daniel Jeremiah. They’ll also have Stanford coach David Shaw, Charles Davis, Steve Mariucci and Brian Billick.
I think our decision is made.
NFL Network by Mel Kiper Jr hair slam. With suddenness.
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This is also your open thread for draft discussion.
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