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The most incorrect post of all time

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I was perusing old Texags threads, as I often do when trying to make myself vomit so I can keep my dainty figure (also, instead of three large meals, I eat five small bags of cocaine a day). I came across one of the thousands of threads with penultimate Aggie poster 13 0 Branding Iron going on and on about how bad Texas will be this coming season. Unfortunately for him, this was in the summer of 05.

But, it's one thing to just be wrong. It's another thing entirely to be this wrong.

You just changed to a DRIVE blocking scheme. What are you going to do, switch back to zone technique for a finesse back?

You need a power runner (who doesn't fumble). What kind of player do you have? I see nothing.

Also: You changed DCs again and lost your best player. Last year's defense keyed off of the SLB allowing the WLB to roam. This year you also changed the front seven scheme, adding a NT (different technique).

Let's play "Count the errors."

1. Texas never switched from their zone scheme.

2. You don't need a power runner to run out of the I.

3. You don't need a finesse runner to run zone schemes (Ron Dayne, anybody?).

4. Keyed off the SLB? What does that even mean?

5. If you read the thread, the reason he thinks we used a nose guard was because our roster lists the position as such. He makes fun of people for not knowing football well enough to know what a nose guard is. Of course, Gene Chizik doesn't use a nose guard. His predecessor, Greg Robinson, used more of what you'd call a nose guard. So not only did he get it wrong about our 05 defense, he managed to get the opposite of what actually happened. That is tough to do.

FIVE fuck ups in 8 sentences. Just for good measure, he threw in a few additional nuggets:

This is almost as stupid as patch claiming Radio will be a pro QB based on his "scrambling ability".

If you knew anything about defense you would realize that there is NEVER a NG in a 4-3.

He's the Donald Rumsfeld of the internet. I dare anyone to find something more incorrect than that.