Look alive ladies, it's cotton-pickin' football season! HenryJames! Get that jock out'chyer mouth and give it back to Scipio! You two can grab-ass after practice! We got new third string kickoff cover teams! Chooky, listen up, this means you!
It's cow-tippin' football season! Listen up! The grass is cut, my ass is red, and y'all need to pay attention or we'll leave your ass in the locker room! Pussies! Listen up! It's football season!
Normally I'd post something like this on a Wednesday or Thursday, but since there is no previous game to steal our focusness, and because I'm getting antsy like a kid on Christmas Eve, I'm throwing this up now. Head on a swivel! It's football season!
Key #1 - Show up and don't get hurt.
Key #2 - Don't suck at anything. You can't tell how good you'll be in games like this, but you can damn sure tell how bad you're going to be. Remember how we couldn't run the ball on North Texas a few years ago and SHSU last year? Or how Baylor shredded us by keeping its secondary back and killing us with twists and stunts? Yeah, that means something. I'm looking for a solid, all around game here.
Key #3 - Audition at corner. Foster and Beasley will likely start, but based on last year, they won't last. Have they improved enough to warrant the starting job? Will any of the talented freshman step up? We won't need them until OU, but we're looking for the two guys who suck the least right now. Could be anyone.
Key #4 - Tackling. Last year we stunk, and gave up a bunch of big plays because of bad angles or missed tackles. We need to get guys on the ground when the first defender gets there. Again, Arkansas St won't be hard to tackle, so it'll really stand out if we turn in a shitty performance here. We can't hand anyone points like we did Iowa and NU.
Key #5. - How much time will the talented youngsters get? You could argue that outside of maybe 3 positions (both DTs and Muckleroy) the talent on the bench is better than what is on the field. Those kids need to play, and Rashad Bobino doesn't. Mack's perennial "we promise to play them more" speech came right on cue this year, so let's see if he follows through.
Take a lap sissies! It's football season!