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Texas Football: Liveblogging Texas/Rice

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A thousand curses upon the pederasts at Fox Sports who scheduled a Texas Tech/Oklahoma St trackfest as if it's going to run in a tidy two and a half hours. Harrell is now over 600 yards passing. Texas Tech's defense is series of holograms.

However, I refuse to let the bastards win and I will liveblog with unrestrained fury once Texas Tech stops throwing incompletions. Mike Crabtree drops the game winning pass.

We're now up 7-0. JC opened up with a fumble but our defense held. McCoy is 7 of 8 for 60 yards. Nice to see we're continuing to go down the field with authority.

AND WE'RE LIVE!

I think we're going to have a nice rout to get some early season frustration out.

Ryan Bailey nails a 43 yard field goal. He's now 8 of 10 this year. Now up 10-0.

Going from Erin Andrews to Emily Jones as sideline reporter is like getting sea rations after dining in Napa.

Rice ball.

Dillard is a good player - uses one of our CBs (Beasley?) in the flat.

Miller and Houston make a great play on a Rice horizontal run. Clement sacked. Rice will punt.

Texas ball. Colt is 7 of 10 for 61 so far. Heisman?

On 2nd and 6, we run an out dink-and-dunk for 9.

We finally attempt a deep pass, JC drops a sure touchdown.

This inspires us to dink further, sailing the ball in the flat for 5 to Nate Jones.

3rd and 5 is batted down - we punt.

Colt is now 9 of 14 for 76 yards. Wow.

Sergio Kindle makes a nice tackle. He then walks the hash in a perfect straight line.

Nothing compels our staff to play those young linebackers like an opposing roster that averages 1400 on the SAT.

2nd quarter

Clement converts on 3rd down as the WR makes a bobbling catch.

Rice is treating Beasley like an Atkins diet.

Eddie Jones gets a nice sack on Clement. Good wheels on Eddie.

Beasley has nice coverage on Dixon. Incomplete.

The entire young unit of LBs is on the field right now. Muck, Norton, Kindle. I think I just caught the vapors.

They look like linebackers.

3rd and 17. Clement gets nailed by Eddie Jones as he throws to Dillard. Beasley is right there and makes the play on the ball for an incompletion. Nice redemption for Deion on this series. He threws the carbs out on that series.

The Rice punter punts negatively. Not in the sense that he has a bad attitude either.

Colt hits Limas on the run in single coverage (is this legal?). Limas does a pirouette to turn the defender's hips and sprints down the sideline for a 40+ gain. A hint of cleat catches the sideline and he should be ruled out of bounds around the 3 yard line.

He is.

Colt is now 10 of 15 for 124. Nice. If JC makes his easy catch, Colt's numbers are sterling.

Great push up front for an easy JC TD run. We're up 17-0.

Rice ball. We're continuing to have trouble with the zone read QB keep. Clements goes for 8.

We play it well there. 3rd and 2.

QB lead run for the first. Griffin gets a nice pop.

Clement has all day to throw. Find the open WR.

Outstanding interception by Marcus Griffin. Extraordinary play on the ball. He has been our best guy in the secondary this year.

A wheel route to Oingo Boingo. Beautifully thrown by Colt. 35 yards. We're downfield assassins.

Rice sacks McCoy. No one blew that. We just had an open set and Rice outnumbered us at the LOS. That sack was on Colt. He needs to know numbers when we're lining up 5 at WR.

We hit Sweed on the run again. I just fainted. We're short of the first though.

Limas looks like he's feeling better. Good news.

Ryan Bailey nails a 52 yarder! He's now 9 of 11 on the year. 20-0 now.

Somewhere Michael Pollak just pumped his fist in pure joy.

Rice ball.

Awesome play by Muck. Jesus that guy is quick. That's linebacking. Beautiful scrape.

Rice is now in 3rd and long. Exacerbates it with a false start.

The defense is looking good. The young LB's bring a completely different element to our game.

We're getting the offense into 2nd and long early and it's fait accompli from there.

Robert Killebrew is weeping like Iron Eyes Cody right now.

Colt hits Limas downfield for an easy 53 yard TD.

Limas just ran right over the safety help. The Rice safety squatted like a Khmer tribesman thinking Sweed would break off his route. 27-0 good guys.

Kindle has wheels. Watch him change his angle of pursuit and run down the KO returner. Crom he's fast.

Rice ball.

Beasley is getting his sea legs now.

Clement keeps on the zone read for a first down. Notice who the LBs are?

Killebrew runs in the wrong direction and gets blocked in the back.

Motherfucker, that was comedy.

Big Frank Okam tackles Clement by his ear.

Lamarr Houston gets a sack coming off of the edge like he was on methamphetamine.

We're getting a lot of pressure. Hey, the QB is named Chase. What do you expect to happen?

Jordan Shipley almost gets a TD pass. Shockingly, he remains intact.

We hit Nate Jones on a delay route. Nice gain.

Great interior blocking once again in goalline. Easy walk in TD for JC. We're up 34-0.

JC is 11 for 67 and 2 TD.

Bring on John Chiles and Vondrell McGee.

Rice ball.

Kindle shaken up? Or inebriated.

Jared Norton makes a tackle.

Roderick Muckelroy gets a pick on the tipped ball from Thomas Marshall and shows some nice acceleration on the return.

Young LBs, Mack.

McCoy goes balls out for Sweed again. Touchdown. 41-0.

Colt says all praise to Allah. He's 17 of 23 for 295 with 3 TDs.

Rice gets a good KOR.

Flagged late hit. Bobino. Upperclassman leadership.

Beasley backslides as Dixon torches him for 6. 41-7.

3rd quarter

Rice runs for 5. Bobino takes himself out of the play with an anti-Pythagorian angle.

Lokey destroys the interior run.

3rd down - Palmer defends the play capably, skying to the fullest extent of his Ewokian height.

Quan Cosby has a nice return. I think I'm one of the few Longhorn fans on the planet who doesn't like him at PR. He's not an explosive guy.

Texas ball.

We hit Finley for a short gain and then follow with Colt on the keeper. Why?

Colt throws a ball at his WR's buttock. The next play he one hops to Cosby on a WR screen.

Good effort by Oingo Boingo getting the first. Shot out to Peter Bean.

Colt rag arms another ball. What's up, Colt?

JC for -1 on the horizontal explosion.

Colt throws a perfect ball to Nate Jones. Just when you start talking shit, Colt bitchslaps the live blog. Nice one, Colt.

JC runs in an easy gimme. Nice blocking again. JC is now 14 for 72 for 3 TDs. Time to put him on the pine and play McGee.

Bring on Chiles.

Bring on Chiles.

Bring on Chiles.

Rice beat us in '94. God, I'd blocked it out. It's all coming back. Shea Morenz, Kalu getting another sack, the drops...the rain.

I'm back after weeping a little.

Clement was the QB at Alamo Heights. He's familiar with being beaten like a mule.

Mack Brown talking about Killebrew: "He's a chef." With a recipe whiffed tackles seasoned by personal fouls.

He's also singlehandedly won us a MNC.

Thanks, Mack.

Beasley worked again. Maybe Foster is better.

More of Killebrew's recipes...

Stumble Souffle. Wrong Way Rutabagas. Bad Technique Tarts.

John Chiles. Word.

Nice throw. Dropped ball.

Chiles a wizard on the keeper bootleg. He can run.

Keeps on the zone read for an easy 11. He can run.

Runs again for 7.

We know he can run. It would be healthy for his development to get him throwing.

Vondrell has a nice run.

Another. He plants and goes. That's what I saw of him all through high school and he can translate it to this level easily.

TD run. See previous comment. That's a running back. Well-suited to the zone read and surprisingly strong.

55-7, good guys. We're getting some frustration out on Rice. Poor bastards.

Rice ball.

We bust a coverage. Garbage time.

Acho gets two batted passes in a row, destroying that series. How many wildly athletic guys do we have at 6'3" 250 at DE? It's an embarrassment of riches.

Speaking of...Vondrell McGee again. This guy is special. Yes, I know it's Rice. Fuck off.

Vondrell again. Look at how quickly he gets into his gear.

All 11 on the field are either redshirt or true freshmen.

Ryan Bailey get a field goal. 58-7.

Rice ball.

Jared Norton knocks the carbs out of a Rice player.

Acho credited with a fumble sack. We'll take stats any way we can get 'em.

Dustin Earnest is a terrible blitzer.

Chykie Brown looks good out there. I'm not sure he knows what's happening, but he looks the part.

Texas ball.

I think we're going to pull this one out. I just have a feeling.

Melton gets a TFL. Well, he does love contact.

Norton has a manly tackle again.

Rice scores. 58-14.

We're quitters.

This animatronic fox is insistent that I could be making $5,000 a day working from my home. Why is a Texas/Rice matchup considered a prime audience for this message? In any event, there is a couple that vouches for the fox's veracity and they're sitting in front of a pool. A pool.

David Bailiff looks like Tom Berenger if he completely let himself go.

Sherrod Harris is in. Hands off to Antwan Cobb on consecutive downs. He doesn't get the Pfirst.

3rd down. Harris is sacked after our fake counter play action blows up.

RAHHHHHH!!!! WHERE IS OUR INTENSITY? We'll never beat KSU playing like this. With our 3rd teamers.

Several starters have put up hammocks on the sideline.

Doing a piece on Matt Nader. Tough deal for that kid. A lot of people think he'd have been a starter next year. He looks like Seth Rogen.

Kelson on the blitz nails the QB. What could have been, Drew.

I think we have the ball again. I was napping.

Cool, we're winning. Go Horns. Where am I?

Mack looks old. I think our whiny asses are responsible for that. Sorry, dude.

Nevertheless, a good win. We got a lot of the things we need from this game: a confident Colt, a renewed Limas, extensive young LB play, John Chiles with wet feet and a burned shirt, and Vondrell McGee auditioning for 10 carries per game when it matters.

Huzza.