Illinois is giving head coach Ron Zook a contract extension and a raise. How else do you reward a coach who is 9-21 at Illinois and 32-34 overall?
But things are different this year. Zook has huge wins over, uh, Penn State? Wisconsin? And he barely lost to Missouri.
"Our football program has made considerable progress under his leadership," athletic director Ron Guenther said. "We look forward to working with coach Zook and his staff to continue building the program."
Zook’s annual compensation would go from $1.055 to $1.305 million next season, and it would increase by another $200,000 every year Illinois makes it to a bowl game. He'll get another $100,000 bonus every year he stays away from the Pi Kappa Phi fraternity house.
'Why don't you tell me what the fuck is going on?'