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Dan Hawkins defines class

Colorado coach Dan Hawkins launched into a bizarre defense of the New England Patriots yesterday at his press conference. He was asked and answered a question about leading the nation in 4th down attempts and then started talking about the Patriots.

"Personally, I think it's awesome because those guys, I think a lot of times people get into sportsmanship and what's classy and all that," Hawkins said. "What's classy to me is those guys have got a standard and they're on it. They don't care who they play and they don't care what the score is, they're going to bring it.

Personally, I think it's awesome that Hawkins uses the word awesome. His speech is an amalgam of Patrick Swayne movie lines.

'Pain don't hurt.'

"If you're not defending the onside kick, they're going to onside it. If you're not defending the fake spike, they're going to fake-spike it.'

If you're not defending the stolen sign, they're doing to steal it.

"In the long haul, it pays dividends on and off the field. I totally believe that."

Hawkins then spent that night attacking the trick or treaters who came to his door, stealing their candy and sending them crying to their parents.

Because those little pussies weren't defending it.