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Some Intel On The Next Aggie Coaching Hire

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I got this from a private Aggie chat room. Please don't pass this on. Thanks for respecting confidentiality.

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Maroon4Ever: what are y'all hearing about our next coach? who will restore us to occasional Top 25 prominence?

JTrain: want Spurrier or Pete Carroll!!!!!!

Maroon4Ever: USC totally sucks this year...I like Tuberville because Auburn is the Texas A&M of the SEC and Franchione came from their tu, so we should acquire his opposite...this will signal tu that aggies means business

GoodBull79: hmm

JucoAg: b. bellachik, dude

Maroon4Ever: oh, snap. Bellacheck?

JucoAg: yes, bellochizik

GoodBull79: I want Bill Walsh.

JucoAg: walsh lives in California - isn't he gay or dead or something?

Maroon4Ever: yes, gay

GoodBull79: ...or dead?

JucoAg: yes, one of those

Maroon4Ever: bill bellardochek would be acceptable..does he have Texas Aggie fire in his heart?

JucoAg: yes, probably..his dad coached at the naval academy - very similar environment. also, bellycheck is winning with massachussetts players ---- imagine what he could do with Texas recruits! Can you say golden triangle? Whoop!!!!!!!!

Maroon4Ever: spurrier hasn't done much at south carolina

JTrain: he hasn't found his shane matthews yet. imagine what kerry franks could do in that offense! Pierre Fleurinor...

JucoAg: I think our maroon pants are so intimidating. Coryatt looked freakin awesome in 'em. who banned them - Franchione or Byrne?

Maroon4Ever: WRECKING CREW!!!!!!!!!!!

GoodBull79: wrecking crew!

JucoAg: roper and wallace and glenn!

JTrain: Why not bill cowher from pittsburgh?

GoodBull79: which yankee is he? the one that spits?

BuckyLives: howdy ags...just got here - did y'all hear about brian billeck from the patriots?

Maroon4Ever: already interviewed...we passed

JucoAg: shrewd, IMHO. Not a good fit with our culture

JTrain: he would have totally sucked

Maroon4Ever: how did Kevin Murray not make it into the NFL?

BuckyLives: Tom Landry is a tu grad. Blackballed him to the league. True story

GoodBull79: typical tu class

JucoAg: You couldn't pay me to go there

BuckyLives: don't you go to navarro?

JucoAg: .......

Maroon4Ever: So why not Belochik?

JTrain: He would be awesome!

Maroon4Ever: So he did or did not pass on the job when offered through the backchannels of Kyle?

GoodBull79: I heard that we passed on him, like the billy clyde situation when he tried to come crawling back and we told him,"adios sucker, turgeon is our man"

JTrain: that is correct - verified with several big cigars in Nederland

JucoAg: would we take BB if he agreed to paycut?

Maroon4Ever: possibly...it's a poker game at this point and very complex

BuckyLives: we have the cards

JTrain: checkmate

JucoAg: spurrier would recruit the Big Thicket area well, I think

Maroon4Ever: he golfs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GoodBull79: gentlemen, it's confirmed via my contacts in seguin...we've passed on Brad Bellichik

JTrain: I'm pleased

Maroon4Ever: shit hot

BuckyLives: checkmate!