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Nebraska Game Analysis Using ESPN Gametracker

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The game wasn't available here in California. The local Fox affiliates were showing a Communal Kiln Building Exercise, lacrosse (OMG, pass it to Taylor; Cody, pass it to Taylor!), and the District Ashram Championships in boogey boarding.

Don't worry. Not seeing the game doesn't preclude me from expert analysis. I'm a writer on an award winning website. I will use ESPN gametracker to provide my breakdown. Trips Right will try to wow you in his breakdown with exotic bullshit like actual game viewing and his outstanding analytical mind and college basketball experience, but I predict you will probably learn more here. I just like the cold hard facts to speak for themselves.

Overall, the game was disappointing on a number of levels, despite the win. I've concluded this because we won by 4 and I thought we'd win by 16. Also, I've seen Nebraska play before and they start a midget, Whoopi Goldberg, an Australian (criminal stock), and some other white kids.

We began the game poorly. Down 12-5? Crom's nutsack. You're killing me. Pull your head out Barnes. Barnes' coaching early is poor and we lack energy. What's wrong with the crowd?

How can antipodean Aleks Maric get so many Two Point Basket Layups? Dude can't even get his nation's toilets to flush in the right direction. I blame...Gary Johnson. Freshman. He has hit the wall, folks.

Fortunately, we respond with many Two Point Dunk Shots by Damion James and several Three Point Jumper Baskets by DJ Augustin.

We're playing with so much chemistry!

On several occasions, the score changes, sometimes actually going down after I hit refresh. I thought we were up 38-25, but now it says we're tied 20 all. I think this speaks to our inconsistency. Great teams don't lose points, folks.

 height=We went in halftime at 38-25. We really look good. The crowd is electric in only the way the Frank Erwin center can be. DJ Augustin is playing great - so many Three Point Jumper Baskets! - and Damion James is also awesome - 6 rebounds and several Two Point Dunk Shots!

Nebraska has a player named Sek Henry. His dad's name is Grok.

I also love our defense since Nebraska is shooting poorly. I'm not sure if it's man or zone. It's probably a hybridized version of the two.

I started working on some employee reviews. I check back in. We are tied at 52. Not possible.

I hit refresh again. We are back leading 36-22. That's more like it. We should win by 30.

The crowd is rocking!

It refreshes again. We're now up 58-52. Oh.

Why do we keep giving up so many Three Point Jumper Baskets to Ryan Anderson? AJ Abrams was covering him, probably. AJ, you're too short.

Gary Johnson just missed Two Point Layup. How do you miss Two Point Layup, Gary?

I just noticed Nebraska has three team rebounds. We have none. I don't know what a team rebound is, but it conjures Marines lifting the flag on Iwo Jima. As I said, we have none and that's bullshit because I think it speaks to effort.

Atchley is 2 for 8. You're killing us Connor. Oh, he has 5 blocks. Good game, Connor.

I think that Justin Mason is contributing intangibles.

And forget what I said about DJ playing well. He's scoring a lot, but I noticed that he doesn't have many assists in the box score. Selfish. He avoided many passes to teammates for open Two Point Dunk Shots for his bogus off-balance Missed Three Point Jumper Shots, Duke style, from 27 feet.

Where are the Damion James Two Point Dunk Shots? I'll tell you what happened. Nebraska began to defend the Two Point Dunk Shot. Hard. There will be no more easy Two Point Dunk Baskets.

Attendance says N/A. We probably had a fire and they cleared the stands.

Soon, Connor Atchley and Justin Mason begin to hit Three Point Jumper Baskets and we assert ourselves. We're distributing the ball better. Team.

AJ Abrams Hits Free Throw.

AJ Abrams Hits Free Throw.

AJ Abrams Hits Free Throw.

AJ Abrams Hits Free Throw.

I think AJ did a nice job hitting free throws.

So, we win 70-66. Or we're still playing. I just hit refresh. It showed us up by 2 late. I think we'll win. If we don't, I blame Barnes for not running Two Point Dunk Shot - my favorite play.

Augustin, Abrams and James led us in scoring, so they played awesome.

Aleks Maric and Ryan Anderson were on the losing team, so they probably played poorly.

Your thoughts?