The Daily Texan sports blog has reported that Texas quarterback John Chiles is a suspect in an assault-by-conduct (slapping a woman) that the Austin Police Department is currently investigating. And by 'currently investigating' they mean the detective working the case probably won't even look at it until sometime next week.
The police report said the incident happened on MLK at 2:45am last Friday, but it didn't say exactly where. I'm guessing West MLK near the campus. Probably at the Taco Cabana. Because the chances of you getting slapped increase exponentially if you're at a Taco Cabana at 2:45am. Just sayin'.
The Austin Sports Report has many more details of what happened.
There are two sides to every story, and we've heard some of the info on both sides. We're not going to report what we've heard lest you begin to expect us to start doing actual reporting. Instead we'll stick to the type of sensationalism that has helped us so much in the past.
And to prove it here's a pic of our interpretation of what happened: