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Bohls Banality

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The Austin American Statesman's Kirk Bohls doesn't give as generously to the blogging world as Bill Little, but he gives what he has.

Read his Bohl Games Ten Observations From The Cheap Seats if you want to understand why traditional media is dying. It's not so much incompetence as laziness informed by the fundamental assumption that the reader will always be accepting of the lowest common denominator.

Excerpted:

1. Alabama deserves to be No. 1 in the country because of its two hugely impressive road wins over Clemson and preseason No. 1 Georgia.

Hugely impressive. Clemson is a schizophrenic 3-2 with signature wins over NC State, The Citadel, and South Carolina State. Alabama winning at Georgia is very solid, but in a they-beat-a-good-team-on-the-road way. There isn't an informed person who bought into Georgia's No 1 preseason ranking after witnessing their OL play against South Carolina.

2. Oklahoma could easily be No. 1-A with the best offense in the land.

Uh, okay. Good insight. Edgy.

3. Oklahoma State will be the surprise team of the Big 12 and will beat somebody really good like OU or Texas.

Can't disagree with OSU being extremely dangerous. They have great balance on offense, but no defense. This is an actual opinion, whatever one thinks of its merit. Well done.

4. The bloom is off Pete Carroll’s rose. Wouldn’t shock me at all if the Trojans lose again and the USC coach goes to the NFL, maybe to San Diego.

If the bloom is off of his rose, there isn't a flourishing flower in the college football garden. The NFL has salary caps that Carroll doesn't have to abide by at USC. The number of teams in the NFL looking to college for their head coach is currently none. Except Al Davis. Maybe he'll coach the Raiders, Kirk.

5. Speaking of rumors, don’t be shocked to see Washington fire Ty Willingham and go hard after Don James’ former aide Gary Pinkel at Missouri. And remember, Chase Daniel is a senior.

This is actually useful, since he's passing on information rather than attempting to provide his own analysis of it. More of this. Getting into why or why not this is feasible would be too much to ask, presumably as Kirk would have to phone a Seattle beat writer.

6. Colt McCoy says he never rubs the Heisman trophies of Earl Campbell and Ricky Williams but adds, "I do rub the national championship trophy, though."

Nice to know he likes to rub one out before a game. Also, Sergio Kindle likes kittens and firetrucks!

7. I’m told Tim Tebow has never led Florida to a fourth-quarter comeback win. Could that really be true?

Well, Kirk. Finding stuff out like this is kind of like, your job. Could it be true that you've never written an interesting column?

8. Georgia is a very over-rated team.

Errrrr? Whaaaa? Please see assertion #1. Insert end of revolver into mouth. I believe "hugely impressive" was the descriptive used.

9. So is Wisconsin.

You're a visionary like Lee at Appomattox, Bohls. You mention this after they lose to a putrid Michigan team? See, the idea is make this assertion before it happens and tell us why.

10. Brian Orakpo, your All-America season awaits. He’s getting better and better.

Yes, we all agree. Next week's Top 10 preview: That Roddrick Muckelroy! I bet he leads the team in tackles!

Enjoy, folks. This is what the traditional media provides us. Dig your spoon into its meager gruel and try to nourish your curiousity and interest.