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The Red and The Black

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There once was a time when humans entertained themselves by reading novels. Attention spans were longer back then. Stendhal was a 19th century French novelist mostly remembered today (by those with attention spans) as the author of The Red and The Black. The novel is about a young man of common birth who attempts to elevate his station in life through various means.

Texas Tech is trying to elevate its historically plebian football team. Their colors are red and black.

Tech used to be happy with their place in society. They’d beat A&M and go to a bowl game. Not the Outback Bowl mind you, but it was the equivalent of eating at the Outback Steakhouse. That’s fine dining. For some. But that’s no longer enough for some Tech fans. They want more.


"I summer in Balmorhea."

"We’ve gotten beating Texas A&M down pat now, and so now it’s all eyes on beating Texas," says Stephen Spiegelberg of Red Raider Outfitter.

The quickest way for Tech to gain respectability is to win what is undoubtedly the biggest game in their program’s history this Saturday in front of a national television audience.

Escaping their humble origins will not be easy though. It’s a mindset. To wit:

"A&M isn’t that much of a challenge any more," Lubbock resident Missy Stringer said. "So our biggest rival is Texas. It’s the national championship. I’ll be happy with whatever happens if we just beat Texas."

How very Aggie of you. Btw, my incarcerated business partner's retarded gay niece went to Texas Tech. What year did you graduate?

It’s possible they will beat Texas on Saturday. But beating Texas isn’t the same thing as being Texas.

Let me give you an example. When we finally allowed dedfischer to sit at the adults’ table in the BC cafeteria the other day, he proceeded to pour molasses all over his food like Walter Cunningham in To Kill a Mockingbird. Our sardonic barbs caused him to leave the table in tears. Then we laughed like people do in chardonnay commercials.


Trips Right

As with all cautionary tales, there are voices of, uh, restraint?

"While beating Texas is important, it is just a step in the process for this program and this team," Lubbock radio host Ryan Hyatt warns. "You beat Texas and you haven’t won a thing, just given yourself a chance to."

You only get one chance at this, Red Raiders. Don't fuck it up.


"Can I get a do over?"