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Sneak Peek at The Longhorn Network Studios

It's dress rehearsal time at Bristol's new south campus located off I-35, where hordes of Aggies continue to goose step march in organized protest.

Or maybe that was the line for Franklin BBQ.

Deloss Dodds, Chris Plonsky and some ESPN suits.

I know many of you were disappointed when Pam Ward didn't land one of the anchor spots. You'll have to settle for Samantha Steele.

Since my cable company doesn't carry your show, do you mind if I come watch in person?

Steele, who has already been called "the next Trev Alberts Erin Andrews", be will be sharing air time with lead anchors Lowell Galindo, who was hauled out of the ESPNU basement studio, and former local radio personality and UT grad Kevin Dunn. I don't google images of male TV anchors but you'll meet them soon enough.

Now there's just the lingering issue of what cable companies will carry the LHN. The first carrier was announced yesterday and the 17 people in Houston that subscribe to Entouch, a broadband provider to Houston master planned communities, are in luck. Houston has a shitload of master planned communities so that number might be higher but the big names have yet to drop.

I imagine we're days away from deals being inked with AT&T, Comcast, and Time Warner. DirecTV users have been told the company will not be carrying the LHN, some of whom responded by firing a 20 gauge at their rooftop satellite dishes. An act they will regret when a deal is announced two weeks into the season. They also happened to be Aggies.

In other news, an ESPN VP named Burke Magnus (that can't be real) announced that they still intend to air a second Longhorn game this season. Aggies sitting in Hobby Airport waiting for the next Southwest flight to Tuscaloosa are already in full Bachmann Perry Overdrive mode.

Gosh dern dat darn Doddseh!!

Well to that, I give them a picture of Rick Perry holding a puppy...


Now if you'll excuse us, we have a goddamn media empire to run. The lights come on in eight days. That's how long you have to find a new conference. If things don't work out with the SEC, the WAC is willing and ready.

Haven't you always wanted to be the big farmer on a small farm?