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Captain America Has A Rabbit Named Oreo

Fozzy just moved to the front of my beloved Longhorn list. Fozzy could care less what people think and I think it's great. Don't change, man.

Some choice player profile excerpts from the apple of Pearland's eye:

"My rabbit is white and black so I named him Oreo."

I now dub the Fozzy Wildcat the WildOreo, particularly when Jaxon Shipley is the pitch man. And now that Jason Glynn is gone, defenses can't lick the soft center. Good one, Scip! UP HIGH FELLAS

One of my turtles I've had since I've been in college, his name is Franklin. He's the biggest one. I have another [turtle] named Woody who's a little bit smaller. And then I have a really baby [turtle], and his name is Junior," explained Whittaker, adding, "and my monitor lizard's name is Godzilla."

Basically, our senior halfback has the pet profile of a wacky 53 year old divorced woman who feeds macaws crackers from her mouth, wears a house coat all hours of the day, and collects Princess Di commemorative plates.

I also fear that Godzilla is going to kill Oreo one day. Will Franklin protect him? Junior can't do shit, I'll tell you that right now.

It's hard not to wonder how Whittaker juggles it all. So it's only fitting that he draws inspiration from Marvel Comics superhero Captain America who once said, "I can't surrender, I don't know how!" "I consider myself Captain America," affirmed Whittaker. "That's who I most associate myself with as a superhero. I'm always wearing something Captain America."

Fozzy is the baddest motha at the Comic Con, yo.

Fozzy would whip Fat Ninja's ass.

While Whittaker's closet may be filled with Captain America gear, including a comic book backpack he's been sporting around campus, you won't be seeing him portraying the superhero come October 31st.

Captain America backpack = pussy magnet. Step aside, Porsche 911.

"Everybody asks me if I've ever been Captain America for Halloween and I say, `No, I'm not dressing up as Captain America because that's who I am everyday.' So I have to be somebody different."

That's why I don't dress up as Ron Jeremy.

Whittaker is excited for the matchup, and if he can channel his innermost Captain America to help the Longhorns, maybe they will leave Dallas with the win.

Is there any doubt whatsoever that OU is Hydra and Bob Stoops is The Red Skull?

I know how that plays out:

You unmitigated fool! Don't you see I have a BCS game to lose!