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A drunken stat nerd's take

It's god damn Texas/OU. Who knows, maybe Sailor Ripley or Scipio Texas delete this post. To be honest, I don't care after losing to OU. But this is what I'm thinking just after midnight after dealing with another ass-kicking from the crimson assholes. Somebody needs something else after the game thread.

Let's be honest. We got our asses kicked. We puffed our chests because that's what we're supposed to do this week. This is a real fucking rivalry and shit-talking is expected. I'm going to start using numbering because that's what's expected of this guy.

1. Case McCoy. I like that guy. He has moxie. And if you asked me what else he has, I'd say maybe some more moxie? Somebody please tell me what we've recruited for these last few years. PLEASE!!! I guess we just figured Garrett Gilbert was Paul Hornung Take 2. But couldn't Hornung run?

2. These red squiggly lines are very helpful. Spell check for the win.

3. Seriously, I'm a 34-year-old dude that runs computer calculations and I can throw a deep out as well as one of the University of BY GOD Texas' top two quarterback choices. Wow. I might jump before the dude that is eternally close to jumping.

4. Look deep inside yourself as a Longhorn fan. Your expectations this year were based on a rivalry game and hating the opposition. No shame in that.

5. We could have kept this game closer by calling power runs all game long. Close, but there is no way we win with that OL performance. Longhorn fandom has to decide; do we prefer to work on future improvement or just keep the game as close as possible? Whenever they were asked to do more than move straight forward they sucked.

6. OU has a much better team this year. That's all there is to it.

7. I'm a math guy. A computer guy. A Texas alum. A geek. But even I have some emotion. Some understanding of this rivalry. But seriously, Mack, stick this straight up your ass. Go back to Cookeville, Tennessee with your well wishes for a Sooner and literally stick them up your ass. Seriously. Fuck.

8. Oh well. On to adjusted stats.

9. Mack, you have lost to Oklahoma by 49 points, then 52 points, then 38 points. Have some fucking god damn shame. Jesus H. Christ.

10. To finish the top ten list I will be shamed for having submitted this. But this is what happens when you shame Longhorn alumni by getting destroyed by OU.