clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Tote Bags & Tiaras - Big 12 Awards: Week 8

You've never seen the Texas defense look this good. Visually, anyway. It's damn impressive. Forget what the numbers actually mean. It's like a game of Chutes and Ladders with cherry and apple pie charts. Texas prefers the cherry.


Behold the sorcerors at <a href="" target="new">Stat Milk!</a>


That is the scariest thing you'll see this Halloween.

But if you listen to the Texas players and coaches, all that matters to this team now is Wins & Losses and 5-2 in the "New Big 12" is "dang good" according to Mack Brown. It's the equivalent of 7-0 in the Old Big 12. When the Old Big 12 became the New Big 12 isn't exactly certain.

But statistics are the work of the devil, bad fans, and Longhorn Network.

Here is a chart for those non-believers already exiled from the Circle of Trust (enforced by Jeff Madden).


Ahhh... 2005. The glory daze. They hung on every word at your press conferences. You made gangsta jokes about iPods and gettin crunk in the locker room with ya boyzz. You emphasized the limp in your bad leg and it looked swag. You looked like you were still in your 50s instead of your 70s. The media was your darling. Kirk Bohls even liked you for a few weeks. Remembering chest bumping Herbie before the Big 12 Championship game? VY even gave you street cred for letting him call his own plays.

WAKE UP, SUCKAZ. It's 2012 and the New Big 12 isn't going anywhere...



Mike Davis | WR | Texas - After a dismal sophomore campaigned lowlighted by lazy routes, slumped shoulders, and regrettable tweets, Magic Mike has his swagger back and has surprisingly surged ahead of Jaxon Shipley as David Ash's go-to receiver. Davis hauled in 6 catches for 148 yards and 1 TD, getting deep frequently on Baylor's rag tag secondary. Had Bryan Harsin not been forced to play ball control, Mike D would have gladly double-dipped in the candy jar. He dropped a few gimmes, reminding us that he's still Mike Davis, prone to mental lapses when not being a smoove ass dudes.

Kansas State | Damn Good Football Team - The Wildcats put the tape of TT vs WVU to good use and took their act on the road to Morgantown, decimating a formerly high powered Mountaineer offense in every facet of the game in a 55-14 beatdown. Former Heisman leader Geno Smith has cratered against the first two solid defenses he's seen all year, and last week tossed up a ballot-burning stat line of 21/32/147 with 1 TD and 2 INTs. The WIldcats held Stedman Bailey and Tavon Austin to 6 catches for 68 yards and 1 TD - combined. That's getting it done. Snyder has the right ingredients simmering in the cauldron and will crank it up to full burners when a balanced Texas Tech squad rolls into Manhattan this weekend. Along with OU/Notre Dame and Florida/Georgia, this should be one of the better games in week 8.

Seth Doege & Trevon Boykin | QBs | Texas Tech & TCU - Doege went doggy style in Fort Worth, tossing 3 TDs in 3OT and 7 TDs in the game, beating out TCU 56-53 to stay in the hunt for the Big 12 title. Doege threw to 8 different receivers and none had more than 70 yards receiving, often checking down to his third and fourth receivers to move the chains. Eric Ward once again got it done in the red zone, hauling in 3 TDs. His counter-part for TCU, Trevon Boykin was tote worthy as well, throwing for 332/4 TDs. He's playing well ahead of his years as a true freshman in a squad beset by injuries and suspensions. And we haven't heard Gary Patterson make any excuses. Refreshing, no?



Manny "El Matador" Diaz demonstrates a perfect Ole for Baylor WR Terrance Williams / ACE@BC

This section has largely been reserved for Kansas players and coaches in the 2012 season, but this week we are dedicating one very special Tiara to Texas DC Manny Diaz. No matter what buttons he pushes, FAIL happens, as proven by Texas 110th national ranking. Adjusted for stats, we come in at #69 from having played the best team in the nation every week until this one. That still sucks. With his lone depth chart weakness heading into the season being inexperience up the middle, Diaz has done nothing to minimize this reality by simplifying scheme or teaching fundamental principles of defense.

These truths have been well archived here ever since Ole Miss dropped 31 on this defense and this long, painful chapter of Texas football has not yet been written. Texas Tech, Kansas State, and TCU are all capable of putting 50 points on us, which would be right at our average. We saw in the Cotton Bowl what happens when the Texas offense goes up against a capable defense. Having not already conceded the mental battle before walking down the tunnel should help preparation against non rivals, but don't expect our offense to light up the scoreboard consistently against three of the best defenses in the league as we wind down conference play. Enjoy the Jayhawk feast that awaits, because winter is coming.

We can't not honor Kansas in some way since they're our upcoming opponent, so we'll kick down a used tiara to the Jayhawk D for allowing 8 yards per play and 52 points to the Sooners before getting on the scoreboard with a lone, face-saving TD in the 4th quarter. Kansas had shown signs of life the week before, taking Okie State to the wire in Lawrence amidst heavy rain and lightning. Backup QB Michael Cummings replaced Dayne Crist in the second half and lead the Jayhawks to two 4th quarter TDs before ultimately falling short 20-14. That was a moral victory to celebrate. Then they went to Norman... and Charlie Weis had a riveting halftime speech:

"It's 38-0 at halftime," Weis said. "What good could you say? What positive can you say when the score's 38-0, other than the fact, `Is this going to be 76-0?"'

Now THAT'S motivation.

Week 9 Lineup

Texas @ Kansas | 11 a.m. | Fox

Texas Tech @ Kansas State | 2:30 p.m. | Fox

TCU @ Oklahoma State | 2:30 p.m. | FSN

Baylor @ Iowa State | 6 p.m. | FSN

Notre Dame @ OU | 7 p.m. | ABC