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The Week That Will Be : Week 5

College football teams have to actually try this week

Jim Cowsert-USA TODAY Sports

Last Week: 3-3 ATS - SU
For the Year: 14-10 (.583) ($260) ATS 19-5 (.792) SU

What we learned last week:

• Notre Dame and Michigan State played a game for the ages…the Really Dark Ages.

• LSU might not have the defense of old, (437 yards given up to an Auburn team still learning a new offense), but Les Miles no doubt has a new Mountain Dew sponsorship for calling the rain falling in Baton Rouge a "stiff dew."

• Arizona State craps the bed in a big game. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

• They are dropping like flies in Gainesville, and for once it isn’t the police taking them down, it is injury, as quarterback Jeff Driskel and defensive tackle Dominque Easley will miss the rest of the season.

• Baylor seems determined to put up around 70 points per game, and that was without scoring a point in the final 22 minutes last Saturday. They’re talking BCS in Waco, but thankfully they are too religious to use the same "do you know what the b.s. in BCS stands for?" joke.

• And finally, giving up only 400 yards to Kansas State seems like an improvement in these parts, and that is all you need to know about how excited we need to get over a 1-0 record in the Big 12.


It is a bye week, and I can’t write a Fire Mack Brown column the week after writing a Fire Mack Brown column, especially after a ten-point win over defending Big 12 champion Kansas State, so how about we take a look inside the old mailbag this week? Remember, I get no letters from readers, so these are not actual letters from actual readers.

Q: I trust you saw the report this week that if college football players were paid, based on various metrics, Texas players would earn nearly $600k per man, $100k more than the next highest team?

D. Dodds
Austin, TX

We also live in a world where Channing Tatum and Dwayne Johnson are among the five highest paid actors.

Q: Do you and 21 of your friends want to come play us next year?

AD offices of Miami, Louisville and Florida State

Last week was the "position player getting in the game to pitch" portion of the college football program, where everyone is too scared to go into conference play with a loss, so they pay Savannah State and the like $900k to play a 55 minute game. It makes me miss the days of John Jenkins and trying to score 100 on SMU.

Q: Here is a coupon good for three scholarships back to a team on probation. Does not apply in Los Angeles, CA or Columbus, OH.


You really have to admire the Pin the Tail on the Donkey approach to everything coming out of the NCAA offices these days. I can imagine that meetings up there are a blast, filled with pot smoke and Papa John’s pizza as they try to come up with another barnburner to confuse the hell out of the sporting public once again.

Q: Did you see me on E! television this week, brah?

Kliff Kingsbury
Lubbock, TX

I don’t see what the big deal is. I think we all remember Tommy Tuberville’s short stint as the wedge in between Khloe and Lamar on Keeping up with the Kardashians, and of course there was Spike Dykes critiquing ladies’ attire on the red carpet at the Oscars a few years back. Really catty comment about Julia Roberts and her dress, Spike.

Q: Don’t worry, I’ve got this.

Tom Hicks
Dallas, TX

Signed, the Texas Rangers, their bankruptcy lawyers and Liverpool soccer club.

Q: Jordan Hicks…Sam Acho…Henry Melton…Alex Okafor…

Bad JuJu
New Orleans, LA

This is either a bad coincidence, Manny Diaz is slumped over in a New Orleans alley way with a UT player voodoo doll, or certain UT regents with great hair will go to great lengths to oust Bill Powers.

Your choice.

On to the games...

Ole Miss @ Alabama -16:

Alabama appears to be a very good, but not great team that plays to its level of competition, with the latest effort finding them mucking along before pulling away from Colorado State late.

Which leads to Ole Miss quarterback Bo Wallace spouting off this week, telling everyone that their offense is better than Texas A&M’s offense and of course they can beat Alabama.
I’m beginning to see why he had to go to a junior college first.

Alabama 34 Ole Miss 17
ATS – Alabama
SU – Alabama

LSU @ Georgia -3:

It is pretty obvious that Georgia spent about 10 minutes of practice last week working on North Texas and the rest of the time working on LSU. The Bulldogs defense has been porous (giving up 389 yards per game), but as we mentioned above, LSU might not have the defense to stop them as well.

Georgia 31 LSU 24
ATS – Georgia
SU – Georgia

Wisconsin @ Ohio State -7:

Ohio State has won 5 of the last 6 in this series, but Wisconsin has been to three straight Rose Bowls, so there is that. While the Badgers are averaging 8 yards per carry (good enough for third in the country behind Oregon and Baylor), they haven’t faced anyone with a pulse outside of Arizona State, and we all know Todd Graham had his head in the Classified Jobs section of the newspaper the whole game.

Ohio State should win this one comfortably.

Ohio State 37 Wisconsin 23
ATS – Ohio State
SU – Ohio State

SMU @ TCU -20:

June Jones might have gone back to Hawaii a year early, as SMU has been terrible, getting thrashed by a Texas Tech team that hasn’t looked as good since, needing a late score to beat Montana State and getting embarrassed in College Station last week.

Lost in all of that is how bad TCU’s offense has been, with Trevone Boykin still under center the last time I checked. Can they even score 20?

TCU 27 SMU 20

Oklahoma State -19 @ West Virginia:

West Virginia lost 37-0 to a team last week that had tablecloths on their heads.

Oklahoma State 44 West Virginia 16
ATS – Oklahoma State
SU – Oklahoma State

Oklahoma -3.5 @ Notre Dame:

Notre Dame needs a lot of Tommy Rees to win this game. Good luck with all that. They struggled with Michigan’s speed, and we all know that being north of the state of Kentucky means that Michigan speed is less than Oklahoma’s speed.

The Sooners looked a lot better under Blake Bell against Tulsa. We will see if that extends to South Bend, but there is really no reason it should not, as the Irish’s defense is nowhere near as good as they were last season.

Oklahoma 31 Notre Dame 21
ATS – Oklahoma
SU – Oklahoma

For entertainment purposes only. Save your money for protection from Manny Diaz’s voodoo doll.