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Charlie Strong likely to be replaced at Louisville by...wait for it...Bobby Petrino

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Oh, my.

Break out the Purell and penicillin.

The culture continues to shorten the public humiliation career resuscitation timeline from decades to months in politics and media and Louisville is doing their bit for the sporting world.

It looks like offensive genius and ethical infant Bobby Petrino will try to make it happen again at the 'ville.  He'll join Rick Pitino to form the creepiest football-basketball tandem in America.  I defy any of you to put forth a combo in revenue sports with a superior coaching ability to creep factor.  This is a masterful niche to exploit if you truly don't give a damn about appearances and the Moneyball ridge of my reptilian brain swims in appreciation chemicals even as the human being portion of my brain retches uncontrollably.

The Cardinals are also bringing in Charles Haley to head up Human Resources where he'll spearhead his new awareness campaign: LAY DEM NUTZ OUT CARDINALS, SHEEEIT.  This according to new school president, Anthony Weiner.

The potential implications for the Longhorns is that, if true, it guarantees little retention of Strong's former staff, whether by Petrino's choice, or because they fear he will embezzle money from them and say weird things to their 16 year old daughters.  Will an intensely loyal Strong watch while his buddies pound the pavement looking for jobs when he has several wide open here at Texas?

While it is Strong's Texas football ship to captain, many are hoping for a cherry-picked staff that included the best and brightest from Louisville, Texas and the nation's elite or up-and-comers.

Let's see how it shakes out.  However, if you'd like to perform LAP Longhorn Advance Panic, have at it below.

I'm not panicking yet, as I'm still marveling at the idea that Bobby Petrino will soon be standing in front of cameras lecturing Kentuckians on doing things the right way, accountability, honesty, and integrity.

We're living in truly bizarre times.  Yet another demonstration of the gap between the realities of college athletics and its dreamy propaganda.