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The Week That Will Be: Spin the Roulette Wheel

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Hey, they're struggling too!

Brendan Maloney-USA TODAY Sports

Last Week: 2-4 ATS 4-2 SU
For the Year: 5-7 (.417) ATS 9-3 (.750) SU


Last week we learned…

• Michigan hadn’t been shut out since Reagan’s first term, but they couldn’t quite match the 17 points that Rice put on the Irish in their first game.

• Is it me or was that USC/Stanford game a little refreshing? Two teams dressed in their regular uniforms, actually playing defense? Not something you see very often these days. As for the game, nine trips inside the USC 28-yard line resulted in ten points for Stanford. It is hard to win many games with that production.

• Former Longhorn recruiting target J.T. Barrett only completed 9 of 29 passes in a loss to Virginia Tech, at night, at the Horseshoe no less. Hang on Sloopy, indeed.

• The bad day for the Big Ten continued in Eugene, where Michigan State was making reservations for the Rose Bowl while Oregon scored 28 unanswered points and left the Spartans saying "what had happened was…" all the way home.

• The Battle of the Teams That Lost the Last Two Season Openers to North Dakota State resulted in a Kansas State comeback win…which doesn’t bode well for a Wildcat team that plays host to Auburn next Thursday, unless it was a slow play, then bravo on their part.

• And finally, quit scheduling BYU already. And if we must, make sure Taysom Hill has graduated and doesn’t have any sons playing football before we sign on the bottom line…

This week we turn away from the Longhorns as quick as we can and take a look at come college football over/unders, some of them real, some of them imagined…

BRAXTON MILLER PASSING YARDS (2095.5):

Step into your time machine and hammer the UNDER on this one! Also tell me to drink much more before Texas/BYU games, throw out any jorts I ever had in my closet and don't let me break my wrist shooting fireworks when I was a kid. That really hurt.


MICHIGAN WINS (7.5):

It is unclear whether or not another moral victory after a loss to Ohio State will suffice for this purpose, but if so, I like the OVER.

NUMBER OF TIMES A TEXAS PLAYER SAYS THE OTHER GUYS ON THE TEAM DON’T CARE AS MUCH AS HE DOES (2):

When a team is desperately searching for a vocal leader, how about that player quit talking to the guy with the tape recorder in his hand and start talking to the guy that supposedly doesn’t care as much? Perhaps if the Longhorns had a little more player leadership they wouldn’t be giving up more than half a mile in two games against B-Y-freaking-U.

BRETT HUNDLEY TOTAL RUSHING YARDS (604.5):

There is NO way Hundley runs for 600 yards on Texas. Joke is on you, Vegas.

NUMBER OF TEAMS WITH WIN TOTALS UNDER 4 BAYLOR IS CALLING TO SCHEDULE RIGHT NOW (ALL OF THEM):

But seriously, what is up with Art Briles and those long sleeves?

TEXAS TECH WINS (6.5):

I think the play here has to be the OVER, six wins on the field and one when Kliff Kingsbury is named People magazine’s Sexiest Man of the Year, which immediately results in another two-year extension for Kingsbury on the south plains.

ATHLETIC DIRECTORS RUSHING THE FIELD TO ARGUE A CALL AFTER RECEIVING A TEXT MESSAGE FROM THEIR HEAD COACH(.5):

Congrats if you got on this one early.

KANSAS WINS (3):

Surely this was before it came out that Charlie Weis was sleeping in team meetings and before he said that his players needed to "shut up".

PERSONAL MATTERS JUNE JONES ACTUALLY HAD TO DEAL WITH (0):

I reserve the right to retract this one.

WINS BEFORE AGGIE FANS GET REALLY ANNOYING (1):

I present to you, "Kenny Trill".

WINS BEFORE AGGIE FANS GET BLOCKED ON COMPANY IM (6):

WINS BEFORE AGGIE FANS GET UNFRIENDED ON FACEBOOK (8):

WINS BEFORE KEVIN SUMLIN IS GIVEN A LIFETIME CONTRACT AND A PERSONAL SWAGCOPTER (APPARENTLY 10):


BIG TEN TEAMS IN THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF (UPDATED 9/7/2014) (0):

Don’t worry, Tampa/Jacksonville/Orlando is nice in January, in the Nobody Can Tell the Difference Between These Bowls Bowl.

SEC TEAMS IN THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF (4):

Would you really put it past them? Yes, Texas A&M lost four games, but those games were SEC SEC SEC games!!!

On to the games...

Rice @ Texas A&M -31:


Well this tells you about how bad this week is in college football when this is one of the six games featured in this column, but Vegas is basically saying here that Texas A&M and Notre Dame are on the same level (the Irish defeated Rice 48-17 in Week 1). If you believe that A&M and Notre Dame are about the same…

Texas A&M 52 Rice 14
ATS – Texas A&M
SU – Texas A&M


Kentucky @ Florida -17.5:


Galen Hall was the head coach of Florida the last time that Kentucky beat the Gators, in 1986. The Gators went 6-5 that year, Hall was out three years mid-season 1989, replaced by interim coach Gary Darnell (who defeated Kentucky for one of his three wins out of seven tries that year). Florida hired a guy named Steve Spurrier, who won 12 straight versus the Wildcats, and then Ron Zook won three straight against the Wildcats, and then Urban Meyer won six straight, and now current head coach Will Muschamp has won three straight.

All in all, the Gators have won 27 straight against Kentucky. It’s tradition by now.

Florida 34 Kentucky 17
ATS – Kentucky
SU – Florida


Georgia -6 @ South Carolina:


South Carolina got hammered by Texas A&M and then squeaked by East Carolina, so forgive anyone that doesn’t have much confidence to pull this one out.

But this is the SEC, and a prideful program, so Georgia should expect a dog fight (no pun intended). Can first-year Georgia quarterback Huston Mason beat the Gamecocks through the air? South Carolina has given up 10 20-yard completions and rank dead last in the country in passing yards allowed.

Be mindful of the pride play here, but on paper Georgia shouldn’t have much of a problem.

Georgia 28 South Carolina 17
ATS – Georgia
SU – Georgia


Arkansas @ Texas Tech -2.5:


These two old Southwest Conference foes meet for the first time since 1991, which coincidentally enough seems about the last time the Razorbacks were relevant in football.

Texas Tech’s early season struggles have been well documented, defeating Central Arkansas and UTEP by a combined 11 points, and allowing the Miners to run for 271 yards in the process. Arkansas was able to rush for 153 yards on 29 carries against Auburn, so Tech is going to have to contain that in order to win.

This should be a high scoring game, but in Lubbock give me the home team.

Texas Tech 41 Arkansas 34
ATS – Texas Tech
SU – Texas Tech


Tennessee @ Oklahoma -21:


This game should be a decent barometer of where Oklahoma is early in the season. While Tennessee certainly isn’t anywhere near the top of the SEC, they still have a solid squad with a quarterback playing well thus far.

Justin Worley will have to be really good to pull this one out. The Volunteers are only averaging 139 yards rushing against Utah State and Arkansas State, so they don’t figure to be able to do it against an Oklahoma team allowing only 2.35 yards per carry in the young season.

Oklahoma wins this one big.

Oklahoma 45 Tennessee 17
ATS – Oklahoma
SU – Oklahoma


UCLA -7.5 vs. Texas:


While UCLA was considered by many a favorite to be in the playoff at the end of the year, they have done nothing to earn that thus far this season. They needed three defensive touchdowns to defeat Virginia and was tied in the fourth quarter with Memphis last week at the Rose Bowl.

In those two games against Virginia and Memphis, (sounds like an epic Sweet Sixteen match-up in Charlotte on a Sunday afternoon, no?), the Bruins have allowed a staggering 21 tackles for a loss….so they’ve had their share of problems.

But this is Texas. Everyone is always up for Texas, so expect UCLA’s best shot on offense.

Offensively for Texas, to say that they are overwhelmed might be putting it mildly. Shawn Watson obviously wanted to limit the mistakes of his sophomore quarterback making his first start, but when everyone else makes mistakes, it can spiral out of control quickly, and it did. The Horns turned the ball over four times and only averaged 2.4 yards per carry on 34 attempts. That won’t get it done against anybody.

You can certainly make the case that this will be the best team that Texas will face all season. Baylor and Oklahoma might have something to say about that, but we can be hyperbolic about them when their turn on the schedule comes around.

If the Texas defense looks more like they did against North Texas than they did against BYU, and UCLA’s offense looks more like they did against Virginia and less like they did against Memphis, this could be anyone’s game in the fourth quarter.

Unfortunately, I just don’t think Texas is quite ready for a match-up like this one…and it could get rough.

UCLA 34 Texas 16
ATS – UCLA
SU – UCLA


For entertainment purposes only. Save your money for $45 parking and $90 tickets to watch the game on the JumboTron.