I've been in California for work all week - hence the recap assist from jc25 - and I knew I was coming back to town during the clash between the Texas Longhorns & the Baylor Bears, so I set the DVR to record and vowed to stay off Twitter until I could watch the game at home.

*passes to other elbow*

I didn't even make it to the plane landing before I looked at the score, and when I saw what was happening I thought about asking the pilot if we could head back to San Diego. Baylor spent approximately 32 minutes treating the Longhorns like a freshman coed before running out the clock on a 78-64 victory. I didn't even want to watch the game, but I did because I love all of you and I'm sparing you the pain of having to watch it yourselves. I'm basically Longhorn Jesus. You can thank me with alcohol when you next see me.

*passes back to other elbow*

Texas wasn't exactly covering itself in glory, either; the hardest part of this recap isn't coming up with things to talk about but deciding where to start. I am Jeff Portnoy staring at a mountain of heroin.

*passes back to other elbow*

The Good

Shaquille Cleare

6-9 from the floor, 14 points, and one of two guys who were able to generate some semblance of offense with the ball in his hands. Shaq put in solid work with Prince Ibeh playing like Junior Prince against some grown-ass men. This was a game for the bruiser to do some work, and he's one of the only reasons Texas didn't lose by 25. He could have been a bigger part of the story if anybody got him the ball regularly(we'll get to that).

*passes back to other elbow*

Connor Lammert

Connor played his ass off, scoring when he got the ball(seriously, we'll get to that), playing the role of the point man on the diamond press about as well as he could, causing deflections & turnovers, and generally being the opposite in productivity of every other starter. His O-rating for the game is 136, which is above his average. Shaka coaching a team with 5 Lammerts would be enough to make half the Big 12 coaches quit, presumably to start the world's worst old guy a cappella group this side of John Ashcroft.

The Mixed Bag

The Press

There was some success here and there, but it was largely put in by Shaka out of desperation - and the trapping Double Fist looked depressingly desperate in execution - and a good amount of the success came when Baylor was playing out the string. Baylor showed the ability to pass over the press just about any time it wanted, and with Prince/Shaq either not paying attention or out of position there was nobody on the back end to intercept those long passes. A better pressing team has half a dozen steals off those throws, but this team ain't that team.

*passes back to other elbow*

The Bad

Errbody Else

Hey guys, you know I'm on your team, right?

Welcome to the game in a nutshell: 2 guards passing the ball back & forth above the 3-point line, not looking at the guy who has enough room to run a Crossfit gym. (Note to Club Erwin: please don't setup a Crossfit gym on the court during the under-4 timeout.) The 1-3-1 zone is vulnerable if you move the ball, but this isn't what they mean by moving the ball. You have to find guys in the paint or on the baseline where the zone is weak. The guards did this in the first game against Baylor, they didn't do it today with any sort of consistency. Lammert was open all day long from this spot, but the guards would take one look and NOPE NOPE NOPE their way back to the other guard above the arc. You're basically playing into Scott Drew's hands, which is an amazingly simple thing to avoid for high level coaches. (I suspect this one is on the players' execution given Shaka's history.) While we're on the subject of things that play into Baylor's zone, Javan Felix is essentially the prototype for the kind of guard that Baylor's combination of length & scheme will chew up and spit out. For all of Javan's positives, his lack of length, height, and athleticism make it nearly impossible for him to beat this kind of zone as the ball-handler. His past success against Baylor was off the ball, not running the point. I know he had more assists than turnovers, but he was awful. In fact, he was bad on both ends of the floor.

Is this bad?

This didn't happen because of a switch, this was Felix's guy from the start of the possession. Ishmail Wainright walked from the corner, down to the paint, and then planted his forearm in the AFH's back like Ben Wallace at the local YMCA. Javan had no chance. I saw this happen more than once, too. This wasn't some sort of genius screening system Scott Drew took advantage of, this was a simple consequence of lineup decisions by both coaches. I don't want to hammer Javan, he gave 100% effort while he was on the court. He's just not built for success against a squad like Baylor's current group.

Big 12 Refs

I'm not going to lose sleep over this point because 1) they were irrelevant in the final scheme of things and 2) they weren't as bad as many thought, but there's a solid 10 minute section from late in the first half to partway through the second half where they made a number of calls ranging from questionable to petrifying. Somebody should check on Jeb Hartness to make sure he's not still suffering from the fugue state that came on during Baylor's missed free throw. He's probably wandering around 6th Street nude like Walter White right now.

I could go on and on, discussing the free throws(not terrible!), the 3-point shooting(definitely terrible!), and...wait, no I want to talk about the 3-point shooting. Specifically, I want to talk about Demarcus Holland taking a 3-point shot with 5:20 left in the first half & 19 seconds left on the clock. Rather, I want to ask a question about Demarcus Holland taking a 3-point shot with 5:20 left in the first half & 19 seconds left on the clock, and that question is WHY THE FUCK IS DEMARCUS HOLLAND TAKING A 3-POINT SHOT WITH 5:20 LEFT IN THE FIRST HALF & 19 SECONDS LEFT ON THE CLOCK. OK, that wasn't a question, that was a statement. Here's the question: D, why do you make me yell at my TV?

Anywho, I'm going to delete this game off my DVR, unhook my DVR, take it to the back yard, and set it on fire. Then shoot it. Repeatedly. I suggest Shaka does the same, this game film deserves to be treated like the printer from Office Space. Better yet, Texas goes to "the other" Manhattan to play the  Kansas State Wildcats on Monday, maybe treat them like they told Shaka "PC Load Letter" one too many times.

Tip time Monday is 6pm CT on ESPNU.

BWG's writing tunes provided by Shy FX.