clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Mack Brown: L'etat c'est moi

When you can't beat Oklahoma, wrap yourself in a Burnt Orange flag and unfriend everyone.

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.

Mack Brown show his true feelings for Longhorn fans.
Mack Brown show his true feelings for Longhorn fans.

I thought this opening quote from Mack's post-game press conference was particularly revealing of the mindset in MackLand and Bellmont right now. Like Santa Claus, it's Mack Brown's task to divide the fans between who is naughty and who is nice:

First I was very, very proud of the crowd. At a time where we did not play well last week, the crowd came back full speed ahead. It was one of our better crowds. I thought they were loud, and very, very positive and upbeat. That's a real credit to our fans at The University of Texas. We're so lucky to have them. There were a lot of people that were negative this week. I don't think any of them were at the game. Because they came to win. They came to help us. They were very, very positive.

That's genuine North Korea level Insularity. And we even saw hints of self-pity with a dash of martyrdom. Shall I break the news to him?

  • Mack Brown, you are not Texas Football. You. Are. Not. We've already gone over this. I don't care what the URL reads either. Every Longhorn graduate on the planet agrees on this point and is on board with this as a general principle, except for you and the Bellmont apparatchiks
  • You are a caretaker who makes $14,794 dollars a day (do math, then retch quietly) to go 7-13 in your last 20 Big 12 games and get teary-eyed on the sideline against Oklahoma every year
  • The fans complaining about the fact that you're doing a poor job are the SAME fans that you're celebrating. Full stop. Re-read that sentence again until it penetrates. Why? Because we cheer for Texas even while wishing it had new football leadership. It's our school, dummy
  • Most of those same cheering fans would also like you to end your chapter here - preferably with some dignity, since you're a decent guy. Inquire outside of your network of ball washers. True story. I promise you
  • Longhorn fans want Texas to win and we like to support our school. The coach is a means to an end. This isn't a personality cult. This isn't Penn State under Paterno or Florida State under Bowden. The same fans that welcomed you in 1998 were the ones flying Dump DeLoss And Flush The John banners in 1997
  • You've been tasked to do a job, we're not your slumber party besties. Do it to the best of your friend-agonizing tween sensibilities. Please stop showing just how completely detached you are from your current reality

I think F Scott Fitzgerald said it best:

The test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.

Hook 'em.