You, no doubt, recall that our last fews trips to the state fair haven't turned out especially well, ending in shock, unspeakable horrors and terrible, cleansing fire.
And there is sadness in this – seeing that which you love openly and without shame burned to the ground and destroyed utterly. But there is also hope, the promise of renewal. From these ashes, the mighty phoenix of Texas Football has risen, undefeated and leading the conference.
We are rebuilt, retooled, stronger.
Our offense is leaner, sleeker, with 50% fewer coordinators.
Our defense is unencumbered by the dead weight of the coach who installed the catastrophic system, and recklessly taught it for the entire offseason and first two games of the year.
And our glorious leader? He is reborn, having somehow survived these recurring decimations intact. Why, it defies belief!
And yet here he is, looking better than ever, the road to redemption clear before him.