*if you've come to read about roster breakdowns, complaining about Shawn Watson, condemning Swoopes, schematic breakdowns of the new offense, or W-L predictions by game then you've clicked on the wrong shitpost. I am a pedestrian fan who swims in the pools of the layman. I am wrong about most everything regarding Texas Football so proceed with caution.
2015. A new season looming. Where to begin?
As a longhorn fan these days… where do you begin?
I guess you can begin with the ass whooping handed to our boys at the end of last season. An old foe from a forgotten conference curb stomping the horns after clawing into a bowl game appearance. Appearance. All we did was appear. We put on the uniforms. Heard a rousing speech in the locker room. Went through warm ups. Stood on the fifty for the coin toss. But that game ended after kick off. Whether it was the attrition of Strong’s first season. The continued season long struggles of a backup quarterback. A depleted, haggard offensive line. A new coaching staff still in its infancy… that game was an embarrassment. Top to bottom. I’ve run out of excuses for that game. I’ve run out of patience for that taste in my mouth. I’ve run out of money to ingest that much booze to watch a 59-yard offensive output. I’ve run out of heart for watching my alma mater lose and lose in historic fashion.
The 2014 season pulled into the garage running on fumes, aflame, fluids leaking from the undercarriage, making a loud clicking noise from the intake valve, transmission shot, in need of an oil change, tire rotation, and a new paint job. We’d accomplished a lot in the departure of the deposed Mack Brown. But most of what was accomplished filled a stat line of moral victories and silver lining. Even in the context of what we had lost and what we endured through an arduous first season under a new coaching staff… we had come up way short… again.
And into the seemingly unending dark of the offseason we went. Left to examine a team with more question marks than a manned mission to Mars. Left to pick apart practice reports and rumors like vultures and hyenas. Beating into the ground the same arguments for months on end. Screaming at the mirage of next season seemingly on the other side of the universe. One more poignant… or pungent than the rest… the Quarterback.
The coveted position of Quarterback has been anything but coveted since a single play against Alabama shattered the continuity of the chivalrous Texas single caller on the forty. The failures of last year at that position run deeper than those 13 games. The Garret Gilbert flame out. The snakebit David Ash. Case McCoy and the Miracles. Mack’s recruiting. And now… Swoopes.
The failures over the better part of the last six years run much deeper than what that young man showed us last year. And the blame is not at his feet. It seems that a lot of Texas fans forget… He wasn’t even supposed to be the starter last year. David Ash was. But after our one hope at the position was laid low after the first game… what hope did we have? Swoopes has had a strange career already. A red shirt burned in garbage time against TCU with Mack still at the helm that I can still remember the sound rolling off my tongue "What the fuck is he doing?". A few scrambles to the cheers of "SWOOOOOOPES" as Case watched from the sideline. Being thrust into the starting role in the first year of a new coach behind an offensive line that looked at most times like Wickline stood at the ticket gates and asked the biggest guys he saw walking in if they wanted to play that night.
As frustrated as I was with much of what Swoopes showed us last season. As terrible as he could be at times I find it nauseating the criticism I see geared towards him now. I’m as guilty as most in taking my negative shots. Perspective and context goes out the window these days. We seem to forget how much he was up against last season. And do not pause to lay the losing record at his feet. The fact that he was not the outlier of talent and didn’t overcome the adversity to lead his team (single handedly without a doubt) to a conference championship the "obvious" narrative has become that… he’s a bum. With no hope of improving. And the best thing to do is take him out behind the woodshed and put him down.
I’m excited about what Heard will do for us. But I’m pulling for Swoopes. Because I love a redemption story. Because that’s what this new coaching staff is all about. Because I want to see any player wearing the Texas logo succeed. Because Swoopes has done more for the football team than I or the vast majority of fans of the team have ever done. I know it’s a lot of the climate we live in these days… but why would you want to see Swoopes struggle? Why would you want more of what has ailed this program? Why wouldn’t you want to see him succeed? The calls for Heard are more a symptom of the fan base’s PTSD: "The next guy will solve all the problems". Swoopes was once that guy. It’s more than just I’m not ready to give up on him. I want to see a guy go through what he did last year come in and prove everyone wrong.
Regardless of what we think of the quarterbacks we have on campus the time has passed to wait for a young man to find himself. With Notre Dame, Cal, and a treacherous conference schedule ahead of us it’s time to start winning. If Swoopes can’t get it done, if his head atop his 6’5 frame is indeed craned against his ceiling then I will shrug my shoulders as he slides into John Chiles 2.0 and watch as he becomes a semi effective Tight End that will have 20 catches, 159 yards receiving, 2 TDs and disappear into obscurity. And I will do what most fans have done over these long years. Take a long, deep breath and move on. But I will not insult Swoopes any more. He is a longhorn. He will always be a longhorn.
Despite all of my… whatever you want to call that for Swoopes… his precipitous failure seems to fall in line with what has been happening with this team since Coach Strong & Co. touched down on the forty… the Youth Movement. The flurry of excitement over this last recruiting class has done everything but die down. These young men came in with a bloodlust that has done everything but subside. As a vulture I look for that tiny morsel of the incoming freshman or underclassmen stepping up in practice. But… they haven’t been morsels. It’s been the meal. Strong’s first recruiting class is doing exactly what we hoped…
Take over.
As much as I ingest today’s social media climate with much detest and eye rolling it has afforded me something much needed in this offseason. Hope. Hope of a different kind. You can’t help but read the names of these youngsters and think to yourselves…. That’s a household name in the making. Jefferson. Cherry. Wheeler. Bonney. Burt. Elliot. Hill. Hager. Hungry. Ready to battle. Ready to bring this program back to the top. Ready is a loose term for these warriors. More of preconceived notion.
And if you need any more confirmation of Mack’s departure followed by Strong’s ascension take a look at the reports of what his first class is doing to the remnants of Mack’s players. The time of entitlement is over. We have arrived in this eve before a new college football season with a coaching staff that refuses to let the players’ coast. Refuses to dust the chip off their players’ shoulders. Electing rather to pile it on and make it that much heavier. Push a 4-star recruit to prove they should’ve been a 5-star. Push a 3-star to prove they should play on Sundays. There’s a youth movement on the forty acres. And it won’t be long before this foundation laid so firm by Coach Strong are no longer young. Seasoned veterans with NFL scouts filling 60% of the stands salivating over the bevy of franchise players all over this roster.
Yet… that leads us to this season. The future still ahead of us. Success still right out of our grasp… by all reports. We are young. Youth and failure go hand in hand, right? A roster of underclassmen, however full of zeal and murderous intent they are, how much can we actually do to conquer this daunting schedule of ours?
An opening trip to South Bend to meet the veteran domers. A seemingly unstoppable offensive force from the west coast. And then… all the familiar faces that have relished in stomping our faces in the mud and stone. Looking at our schedule now with only the game times posted it’s hard to imagine a lot of them with W’s beside them in the months to come. We lost many players to the draft and graduation last year. And we have a tidal wave of inexperience apparently about to crash onto the field this year. Throwing out these youngsters against Kelly, Briles, Patterson, and the purple wizard… What could possibly go wrong?
Reality aside… because seriously this is college football so fuck reality… why not flip that logic? These "youngsters"? I fail to see how these are your typical freshman. All these social media posts of the transformations of these guys since arriving under the long shadow of Moorer’s wing. Most of them were at prom in the spring and now they look like 30 year old men. And lest we forget… We have JGray, Marcus Johnson, Daje (this is the year, right?... right? Right.) Tank, Ridgeway, Thomas, Haines, and most importantly… we have Coach Strong.
I played basketball in high school, 2A. I was decent. My senior year we entered district with a stout .500 record about to play the reigning champs with a roster full of freak show 6’0 + white dudes who all shot the ball 50% or better from three and had won the district 50 years in a row. Before the game my coach said "Why not us?... why can’t we be the ones who beat these guys? Ask yourselves… dig deep… why not us?" We kept in close for one quarter and ended up losing by 30 so I hope this analogy is not reminiscent of my shining high school basketball career…
But… Why not us?
We’re picked middle of the pack in Big12 play. All signs have us finishing similar to last year (and oh my fuck I would love another shot at the shit eating Brett and the fighting pigs). Expectations are low. Everyone has sold their stock on this team. It’s a forgone conclusion that we’ve already piled up a fruitless losing season.
We are young. We’re going to make mistakes. We’re going to lose some games. But all that means is the most we can do is overachieve. I am confident we are done taking steps backwards. The fires to the forges have been lit and are raging. Burnt orange steel will take the field and leave them blood soaked and full of bodies. The youth movement is here. The new faces of Texas Football are here.
It’s August. Which means it’s time to let your realistic expectations die under the weight of what can be. Coach Strong has said "We are better than we think we are". You bet your ass I’m taking him at face value. I’m ready to have my heart ripped out. I’m ready to go into every game knowing we are going to kill every team by 30 points. I’m ready to scream at the TV. I’m ready to say FUCK OU. I’m a homer and a got damn stupid one at that but I’m dusting off my game day gear, which means I’ve laid to rest the doubt. I’ve painted over the writing on the wall with 9 coats of burnt orange.
Another offseason is quickly coming to an end. Every year they seem longer and longer. September 3rd will be here before we can argue more about who should be the starting quarterback. These young men will take the field and my eyes will be glued to every single second of their ascension into a new era. This may not be the year where we turn the corner but my liver has told me otherwise.
Order doubles of burnt orange koolaid… it’s football season.
