LET'S TALK ABOUT THE REAL ISSUES

I know that we played a real football game last week and have a real football game this week. But that shouldn't distract us from the real issues. If I've learned anything from bevel-hating aggies, it's that the key to an SEC level football team is fan-based quality control ON THE SMALLEST ISSUES.

Let's talk about our Field Turf ya'll. I've marked some of the "X's and O's" in the photo below.

via i47.tinypic.com

As you can clearly see, this is super gross, yucky, and dirty looking. These whites are not truly white. They are DINGY. Are we not the UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS? Can we truly say this field looks TEXAS GOOD?

This field looks like my bathmat, and ladies, MY BATHMAT IS DISGUSTING. Mack, DeLoss, Belmont. Sort this out. Would NICK SABAN, LES MILES, or JOKER PHILLIPS allow their teams to play on a field this REC ROOM CARPET-Y looking? There is nothing more crucial to the continued success of UT Athletics than fixing this issue. I'm surprised that recruits don't take one look at our field, VOMIT, and commit to BAYLOR.

Thank you, God Bless. This actually bothers me, and I am in no way OVEREMPHASIZING my disgust for "comedic" effect as a juvenile COPING MECHANISM.