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2009 Kansas State Football Preview: State of the Union

Posted by CloseToJumping on September 1st, 2009 under Football

The single biggest challenge in writing up anything about Kansas State, on any subject if I had to guess, is making the story interesting enough to keep the reader awake beyond the first few words. Sailor Ripley is a sick human being that needs to be wrapped in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds for putting this write-up on me. In any event, I thought of a few things that at least entertained
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2009 Oklahoma State Football Preview: State of the Union

Posted by ChrisApplewhite on September 1st, 2009 under Football

It's September, 2005.
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2009 Kansas Football Preview: State of the Union

Posted by Doperbo on August 30th, 2009 under Football

Which one is Rob?

I wanna rock right now. I wanna chalk right now. My name's Dope and I came to get down. I'm not internationally known, but I'm known to rock the microphone. WHOO... YEAH! Hold up. If you're lost check this out then come back. No worries mate, we'll wait. Hell open a new frame and play it on a loop. It's okay if it appeals to you in some strange way that you don't understand. In fact, put it on your iPod
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2009 Colorado Football Preview: State of the Union

Posted by HenryJames on August 28th, 2009 under Football

Buffaloed.

Dan Hawkins is a confident guy, but he’s not a patient guy. He wants to win now. The Colorado fanbase isn’t so much impatient as they are apathetic. If you don’t want the student body eating Nepalese food and listening to Ward Churchill speeches rather than watching football, you need to give them something to watch. "There's a what game?" I think Hawkins suffers from the same recruiting errors that did in Dennis
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2009 Texas A&M Football Preview: State of The Union

Posted by Scipio Tex on August 27th, 2009 under Football

Forward, March, Hut, Two, Three, Four!

Aggie football players are a lot like the Aggie Corps of Cadets. Some of them are the real thing and deserve your respect, but most play dress up for four years pretending to be something they’re not and end up selling insurance in Tomball. Witness the perfect illustration of my point. West Point. While A&M's football team struggled to a 21-17 victory against an Army team that lost by 18
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2009 Baylor Football Preview: State of the Union

Posted by Trips Right on August 26th, 2009 under Football

If I'm looking at the upcoming football season through the prism of a Baylor fan I can't help but be hopeful. And I'm not talking Shawshank Redemption hopeful where I'm worried about prison rape and crawling through a mile of raw sewage, I'm talking legitimate hope, although it has probably seemed like a prison sentence for the last 15 years or so for the fighting Mike Singletaries. Hope Springs Eternal
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2009 Iowa State Football Preview: State of the Union

Posted by Vasherized on August 25th, 2009 under Football

Perhaps a fitting sign of where things stand in Ames, Iowa with football season just two weeks away is the cover story at cyclonereport.com which features a recent commitment by some dude named Melvin Ejim – to the basketball team. CloneChronicles.com is all over this breaking story as well. In fact, every news outlet in Ames is devoting its full attention so they don't have to talk about the sad state of
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2009 Texas Tech Football Preview: State of The Union

Posted by Scipio Tex on August 24th, 2009 under Football

I dreamed it! In my roommate's coke lab!

In 2008, Texas Tech’s Greatest Season Ever was highlighted by Michael Crabtree’s improbable last second tightrope touchdown to upset Texas. At least that’s how I remember it. I can’t seem to find the replay. Tech concluded their Greatest Season Ever by losing a 2nd tier bowl to an Ole Miss team led by Colt McCoy’s understudy and headset Hee-Haw Houston Nutt. They rewarded Mike Leach by nearly driving him away with
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2009 Nebraska Football Preview: State of the Union

Posted by Minnesotahorn on August 22nd, 2009 under Football

It's that time again. That's right, time for Barking Carnival's States of the Union from around the Big 12 Confer... HEY! I f#*king hear you scrolling up to check the by line dickhead! No, it's not Scipio. Get the hell over it. His come out later this week. If it makes you feel better I plan to steal liberally from him. Now where was I? Right. State of the Union. Let's do Nebraska I guess. I think I
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2008 Texas Football Preview: State of The Union

Posted by Scipio Tex on August 25th, 2008 under Football

There are three things that herald a season of Texas Football. First, Mack points out that last year's seniors were selfish goldbricks who couldn't lead a Brownie troop with a sack full of scratch n sniff lilac-scented unicorn stickers down a footway paved with Skittles and Starburst, but that this year's group brings to mind Washington at Valley Forge.