Beat the Barkers 2012 NCAA Tourney Bracket

Step 1: Register your handle and set up a bracket here.

There's no individual group for the Barkers, it's one big free-for-all-toss-your-keys-in-the-bowl-wife-swapping melee. Lil Wayne might end up with yours, but you could score Kate Upton. Worth a shot, yes? This is a celebrity bracket and Drew Brees feels honored to be in our presence.

We'll probably set up another BC-only bracket at some point but you're going to need a few 12 of them to nail the Final Four. This Yahoo! bracket pays out $10 million for a clean sheet. The winner of ours will get an hour with the one and only tethered Laotian prostitute and a tote bag signed by Dave Bliss.

BC's GUIDE TO A PERFECT BRACKET

We set the bar fairly low around here, so by perfect we mean having at least four teams alive in the Elite Eight, three out of the Final Four, and correctly guessing the national champion with a coin flip.

If you get stuck on a certain matchup, here's a cheat sheet:

Peaking at the right time

CIncinnatti

FSU

Michigan State

Vandy

Mizzou

Louisville

New Mexico

Georgetown

Marquette

Whatever happens, it's been a good season!

Texas

Colorado

VCU

Iona (wtf?)

UConn

Memphis

Virginia

South Florida

Gonzaga

Toughest Region: East

Easiest Draws: Sparty / Syracuse

First #1 seed to fall: North Carolina

Sucker 12/5 bet: Harvard over Vandy (blame Jeremy Lin)

Wild ass upsets you don't have the balls to pick: Iowa State over Kentucky, SDSU over Georgetown, Ohio over Michigan, Purdue over Kansas, Montana over Wiscy. WE GUARANTEE ONE OF THESE HAPPENS.

The next George Mason: Wichita State

National Champion Pick: Probably not Lehigh or Loyola, most likely Kentucky, but maybe Michigan State or Syracuse.

If you don't have nightmares between now and Friday about Cincy's 6'8 260 lb bounty hunting power forward, you need to rethink your commitment to March Madness. The hoops artist formerly known as Trips Right put it thusly:

"We're about to get our shit pushed in".

In J'Covan We Trust.

Yahoo! Tourney Pick'em supports SBNation and the best college sports tournament of the year. Join the bracket pools of Drew Brees, Michael Phelps, and Lil Wayne-- all while competing in the $5 million Perfect Bracket and $10,000 Best Bracket Sweepstakes. Be part of the best and biggest Yahoo! Sports tourney game yet – sign up today!