Week 12 Sundry: The Dark Wizard Arrives

Things are going exactly according to plan for the Wildcats and Snyder's crew rolls into Austin with a 8-2 record ranked #13 in the AP Poll. Is it really overachieving if he does it every goddamn year? The Dark Wizard's crystal ball will be getting some heavy petting this week as the Purple Menace marches into Austin at the end of a brutal four game stretch, one that Vegas thinks won't end well, as Texas is oddly favored by 9 points at most books. But Longhorn fans know better, and have a depleted depth chart in hard to reinforce what we know will happen: K. State will dominate all facets of the game with military precision, discarding Mack Brown's feeble game plan like shucked corn, and the annual harvesting of burnt orange souls in a bizzare grain silo ritual will once again light up the Manhattan night sky.

"Good fortune, I think, probably as much as anything," coach Bill Snyder says of K-State's recent dominance over Texas.

Don't fall for it, Mack!

"They’ve outcoached us and outplayed us. It’s pretty simple," Brown said.

True story, coach.

If there was a team we really needed to leave the conference, it was K. State -- not Nebraska, Mizzouri, Colorado, or A&M; -- not that we'll miss the Aggies. Thankfully our banged up crew won't be playing on the old turf from Veteran's Stadium this week. And hopefully those game time decisions fall in our favor because apparently we'll need every freshman on the roster to beat this roster of CyberKats. After watching Collin Klein run the ball 864 times this season, I'm surprised the dude is still standing.

Texas Tech has played in a bowl game every year since 1993, one of the longest active streaks in the nation. Florida State leads with 30 consecutive appearances and Nebraska has the all time record at 35.

In order to keep that streak alive, Tech has to beat Mizzou on the road this week as a 17 point underdog. The Red Raiders have been outscored 104-13 in just the first half of the last three games. Coach Leach finds this statistic ... amusing. Tuberville is doing what any coach in his situation would do to keep his team motivated -- leave it up to fate.

"We've just gotta have something positive happen to us," coach Tommy Tuberville said. "It looks like everything's gone against us, but as I told the players, we've got to make something happen, so that's pretty much how we're handling it going into these two games."

Tubs needs to spend a summer in Manhattan and learn the Dark Arts, imo.

USC WR Robert Woods only needs 10 catches to tie Keyshaun Johnson’s conference record of 102 receptions in a single season. Maybe that Barkley kid is pretty good after all? Obviously it depends on what team each gets drafted by, but I’ll be curious to see how the NFL careers of Matt Barkley and Andrew Luck compare over the next decade. Throw that in your matchup analyzer, Huckleberry.

My name is Bob Davie and I am a masochist.

Davie leaving the cozy confines of an ESPN broadcasting booth to resurrect perhaps the worst team in FBS – the New Mexico Lobos, a team that has a total of three wins in the last three years. College Station > Notre Dame > Bristol > Albuquerque. One of these does not belong. I get the guy probably missed coaching after a ten year absence and wanted to take on a meaningful challenge, but that is one fucked up bucket list. At least we don't have to suffer through his banal commentary and listen to how he invented the Wrecking Crew anymore.

Bang for your buck in the Big 12

Earnings per victory:

1. Gundy - $210,000
2. Rhoads - $230,000
3. Snyder - $240,625
4. Briles - $258,234
5. Tuberville - $411,800
6. Sherman - $440,200
7. Stoops - $509,375
8. Pinkel - $540,000
9. Brown - $865,583
10. Gill - $1,050,600

Turner Gill is a damn fine bidnessman!

Does Mike Sherman finish 6th in every damn ranking?

Do you still think Mack Brown earned that $2 million raise in 2009?

Initially thought to be a team prank, somebody actually stole the tires off Landry Jones' truck and left it on cinder blocks (back in it's natural Okie state).

Not to worry, Uncle Rico. Big Red Motors will have a new set of tires delivered by the end of business today. No invoice required.

Matt Millen delivers every.fucking.time.

Yes, LSU Tiger Jarrett Lee will come off the bench for Miami and salvage the Canes season. Tell me how this guy is employed again? By anyone?

And finally, the one and only Jesus X. Shuttlesworth will have an injury update and practice report later tonight. Or, you can paypal us $100 and we'll just send it to you right now?