Who is Top Chef in College Station? Kevin Sumlin is about to find out.
The Aggies have perfected the art of bungling the simplest of tasks. These feats are legendary and well documented in Internet Halls of Fame. More difficult processes, such as hiring and firing head coaches, changing conferences, eradicating bat guano, etc. also befuddle the Aggies but in a much more subtle and intriguing fashion than the de facto 4th quarter meltdown.
We know the Aggies can fuck up a ham sandwich, but deconstructing their attempt at cooking a Chateaubriand and hoping it comes out resembling human food is far more fascinating. Over the past week, as Bill Byrne and R. Bowen Loftin argued over how Aggies would want the meal to taste, it turns out Governor Rick Perry, Jim Wilson and other A&M; Regents said fuck it and called in Whataburger.
"We'll take the Lateral Coaching Hire combo meal with a side of Desperation, and free refills of Spite. To go, please. To the SEC! Whoop!"
He-Man once said that just because you have the power doesn't mean you use it wisely. Or something. Although they want you to think otherwise, Perry and the BOR basically settled for the fast & easy hire, like getting qualified for a Countrywide home loan in 2007. Except it didn't turn out to be fast or easy. Did the Aggie brass really think a young guy with four years of experience as a head coach in Conference USA coming off a highly publicized loss was really going to appease the Old Guard? Bill Byrne isn't even impressed, not that he was consulted in the matter.
From the late season meltdown, losing to Texas on a last second field goal, to the costly and embarrassing dismissal of Mike Sherman, this is just the latest episode of Who Has the Keys to the Aggie Clown Car?, the greatest show on The Longhorn Network you've never seen. Presidential biographers can only sit back and admire the level of political chicanery going on at TAMU these days. We are witnessing a high water mark for Aggie dysfunction, with the fuel of a top ten ranking preseason ranking and high expectations only fanning the fire. And to that Aggie co-worker who leaves 5-7 post it notes on your desk? Let her know that Texas fans are still figuring out how to digest the spoiled goat blood enema that was 12-12 over the past two seasons, but a crystally reminder from 2005 probably sits somewhere nearby on your desk or wall.
There's not much still around from 1939. It's all relative.
27-25 Changed Everything
After a few days of sifting through the typical bullshit that accompanies any high pressure coaching hire: irrational fan expectations, shitty reporting, delusional hyperbole, MUST ACT NOW URGENCY!, and the lack of a unified succession plan in general; our research concludes that Sumlin was their guy all along, even before Sherman was fired. Then Southern Miss swooped into Houston and kicked Cougar ass up and down the field. Sumlin paced the sideline looking nonplussed, feigning interest in the game for a few quarters until the Cougar mascot was unmercifully sacrificed on a spike at midfield with a few minutes in the game. Sumlin didn't blink. UH faithful and Aggie Power Brokers watched with increasing anxiety as Southern Miss went up one two three TDs until it was pretty obvious his foot had been out the door weeks ago, on cruise control searching for a new job. But which one?
With at least 10 promising openings in the FBS, surely Case Keenum's senior Heisman campaign and an undefeated season could deliver Sumlin a high profile coaching job. It was a slam dunk until he lost the only meaningful contest of the season in spectacularly bad fashion, one that would have earned UH it's first BCS berth and its beleaguered conference an $18 million payday, some prominent Aggie boosters decided they could do better and only the best need apply.
They got one part of it right.
A&M; could have hired a better coach, perhaps one with a defensive pedigree, but they didn't actually interview any new candidates. Not with the intent of actually hiring them anyway.
If you followed the Tales from Texags over the past two weeks, the coaching search process went down like this:
- After reciting every Aggie Hymn to perfection while naked and blindfolded encircled by a froth of corps turds and yell leaders, Nick Saban failed to impress those that mattered and went back to Tuscaloosa, forked tail between his legs.
- Despite producing game film breakdowns of the 100 worst Aggie losses in team history, as well as impossibly specific game plans on how to humiliate every team on the Aggie schedule through 2018, Bill Belichik was passed over. Tom Brady let out a sigh of relief, then winked at his manicurist.
- Chris Petersen performed the first known act of time travel by a head coach, simultaneously attending the College Football Awards show while also displaying his XBOX skills on NCAA FOOTBALL 2011, beating Texas by a score of 465-3 in a Board of Regent's College Station living room. Petersen was playing against the Regent's teenage son, who had never lost as long as he was allowed to play with Texas, which was only on his birthday and holidays. It was Hannukah. Unfortunately (or perhaps, fortunately) a failed two point conversion by Petersen in the 4th quarter that would have put the Aggies up by the mathematically insurmountable lead of 464 points left an awkward silence in the room, causing Petersen to dive out an open window, never to be seen in College Station again.
- The next day (Thursday? Friday? What space/time continuum does an A&M; coaching search exist in?), Mark Richt presented an impressively boring case for how he might have better failed in those close 4th quarter contests under the same circumstances. As compelling as the evidence was, real Aggie fans knew this was mere sideshow. Richt is just another average coach in the SEC whose wife hates Texas. Too Muschampy.
That's Billy Liucci's story anyway.
Apparently the Aggies needed something entirely new and different: Generation 3%er.
CTL + ALT + DEL
In talking to a few maroon cigarillos, the Sumlin hire dragged out for an entire week to make it look like A&M; had vetted out every option before announcing their guy, who at first glance from both Aggie faithful and innocent bystanders appeared to be a lateral move at best. Liucci, Granato, and other "media" tied to the A&M; program reported that Petersen and Richt were both offered $4+ million. Both coaches deny talking with A&M.; Even if their agents did, Petersen turns down a $4 million offer from a BCS school every few weeks. More importantly, these theoretical talks were underway after a deal with Sumlin was already in the works. That sends a nice message to your new coach, doesn't it?
Somewhere along the way a power struggle came into play between Perry, the BOR, and prominent boosters funding this footballing Hindenburg. The main point of contention with the BOR was what happens to the rest of the A&M; staff if Sumlin is their guy. And It's pretty clear to any head coach candidate who is running the program in College Station right now...
"Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleooooon, I told you so, they come and goooooo".
When Urban Meyer was announced as the new head coach in Columbus, he was basically given the keys to the entire state of Ohio, including all cities, universities, and natural resources therein, limited as they may be. He might as well be Governor, where as Ricky Perry might as well be a coach. Politics aside, thems the facts.
Kevin Sumlin is just getting an office and all of his old maroon clothes back.
It's fair to say the rest of the Cougar staff won't be relocating to College Station. The UH defense, while improved under Brian Stewart (a former assistant with the Eagles and Cowboys), just got shredded by Southern Miss in the only game of the year that mattered. The BOR, through their new mouthpiece, will likely replace Tim Deruyter (with Sumlin's blessing, naturally) and probably a few other assistants. Byrne and Loftin will find out a few days later by certified telegram. Why not go after Mike Stoops, the guy that shut you out 77-0 in the most humiliating loss of all time?
At Least He's a Winner ... Wait. HullabaWHO?!
There's no denying the trajectory of Kevin Sumlin's career path. It certainly compares favorably to, say, Dennis Franchione or Mike Price. It does generally travel upward, which is what you want.
Washington State
Wyoming
Minnesota
Purdue
Texas A&M; (legacy!)
Oklahoma
Houston
That's a fairly impressive slope from assistant roles to head coach, but let's be real - Sumlin got this job because he's Not Mike Sherman. Young, energetic, black coach on the rise vs. a nap-prone, conservative white grandpa nearing retirement that Packers fans still hate. Personality goes a long way. By most accounts, Kevin Sumlin is a really likable guy. Sherman was boring. Franchione was a mortician disguised as a coach. At least RC Slocum played defense.
But hasn't Sumlin at least won some big games? Isn't that a requisite arrow in every Top 20 candidate's coaching quiver?
Apparently not.
In three career bowl games and the recent conference championship game, Sumlin is 1-3, with losses to East Carolina, Air Force, and Southern Miss. Two skills a coach heading to the SEC must have, unless you want to end up next to Vanderbilt or Kentucky, are the ability to recruit and to field a competitive defense -- traits that are glaringly absent on Kevin Sumlin's résumé.
UH Defense
2008 31.2 pts per game (7th in CUSA), 419 yards per game (8th in CUSA)
2009 28.8 pts per game (6th in CUSA), 443 yards per game (8th in CUSA)
2010 32.2 pts per game (8th in CUSA), 433 yards per game (8th in CUSA)
2011 23.1 pts per game (5th in CUSA), 386 yards per game (3rd in CUSA)
Turner Gill thinks this is a perfectly acceptable display of progress.
The Cougars' success has come from outscoring less talented opponents with an advanced spread scheme installed by Art Briles in 2006, then tweaked by Dana Holgorsen before he left for Stillwater in 2010. The scheme has been humming since 2006 under current NFL QB Kevin Kolb and future NFL QB Case Keenum (under current OC Kliff Kingsbury). Sumlin inherited an ideal situation and it's no coincidence that the year Keenum went down with an injury the Coogs went 5-7. So how will Sumlin fare with an A&M; team next year playing in the hardest division of the super hardest conference in college football, that loses most of its elite offensive talent to graduation or the NFL, and fields a defense that redefined the word "collapse" in six exciting new ways this year?
Squeeze harder, Ags.
Kevin Sumlin didn't recruit one four or five-star player on any OU roster. In fact, he didn't really recruit at all. Yet he's supposed to fend off elite Texas talent from UT, OU, TCU, Tech, and Baylor AND invade southeast recruiting beds? That's going to take an army of Trooper Taylors driving maroon SUV stretch limos.
Sumlin's first order of business will be to plug the inevitable leaks in the recruiting raft, which is still floating down the Brazos nicely but could take on water fast if any of Trey Williams, Matt Davis or Bralon Addison start taking other visits, as we expect to happen once High School playoffs wrap up. The calls are coming and they're starting to listen. More on that soon over on the 'Cosm.
So here's your first test of the Sumlin era, Aggie faithful:
Which of these tasks seem remotely possible in the short term?
A. Fix the defense!
B. Compete with Saban and Miles on the recruiting trail!
C. Keep the current class intact!
D. Wear Maroon!
E. Beat tu!
Final answer, please.
D, for donkey fucked.
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From a recruiting perspective I just don’t understand this hire at all. What’s Sumlin suppose to sell to elite offensive talent?
“Why would you want to play for Texas or OU? They play in the Big XII where offense is rewarded and holding calls are seen about as often as straight unicorns. Why not come to the SEC where you can go up against Alabama and LSU’s defensive backs? What do you mean you don’t like being anally penetrated on the deep post?”
Wasn’t one of the big points about aggy moving to the SEC in regards to how the SEC fits them better culturally? How does this hire in any way, shape or form fit in with that?
And if you’re not offering the recruits anything different (other than playing against better defenses), how then are you suppose to infringe upon the big dogs’ recruiting territory?
Color me unimpressed.
by flamingmonkeyass on Dec 10, 2025 11:43 PM CST reply actions
After reading the thoroughness of this post I’m convinced that Vasherized is in fact Ken Burns. Well, I would be convinced if it weren’t for Vasherized’s 18 part series on baseball being a homage to crying.
From my perspective, Strong was the strong move. Aggies, in typical Ag fashion will figure out if Sumlin was the right guy 4 years from now.
by Tipsy Gypsie on Dec 11, 2025 12:10 AM CST reply actions
Haaa! So funny, but the “Pandora’s Box was maroon” warms this deviants heart. Reminds me of LA nights.
So Vash, who do you think the next next Aggie coach will be?
by magnusbleuveigner on Dec 11, 2025 12:28 AM CST reply actions
If the wife ever asks me why I pay $35 a month to subscribe to this site, I am going to tell her to read this post. Worth every dollar, even if I don’t get the secret emails.
by Big Al on Dec 11, 2025 12:32 AM CST reply actions
The guy has had success on offense everywhere he has been. I expect that to continue. He is 3-1 vs top 25 teams. He can coach.
by miketag on Dec 11, 2025 12:49 AM CST reply actions
Okay, let’s talk about defense. Or recruiting. Assuming he’ll be successful in the SEC West because he was in the past is typical Aggie delusion.
What games do you honestly expect to win next year?
by Vasherized on Dec 11, 2025 12:53 AM CST reply actions
Read a quote from Matt Davis that said something along the lines of:
“People think Sumlin can’t recruit, but what people don’t know is that Adrian Peterson was committed to A&M when Sumlin was there, but changed his committment to OU because Sumlin took the job there!”
Aggie delusion is my favorite meal of the day
by Conspiracy Theorist on Dec 11, 2025 1:02 AM CST reply actions
No doubt in my mind that the Ags will rue the loss of old white dudes for years to come - not just Sherm, his staff had a lot of skins on the wall. Guess we find out the holdovers on January 1.
Perhaps a little too granular for a Texas board, but it seems odd that Tom Rossley isn’t calling the shots in the bowl game. From the outside looking in, Jim Turner is more of an angry O-line coach than anything else.
Agree completely on recruiting - this class is expected to be a large one. Probably 28 including early enrollees. A snowball of decommits would really hurt.
by EnglishAg on Dec 11, 2025 1:20 AM CST reply actions
If Aggs were estimated to be in the hole 20 million, how much does the new hire and the one two years from now set them back?
by kemit on Dec 11, 2025 2:23 AM CST reply actions
miketag - Sherman was successful on offense everywhere he coached as well. If that’s what your benchmark is I’m not even sure Sumlin is an upgrade over what you had. If he is an upgrade it’s like going from an Altima to a Maxima. That’s nice and all, but you’re not winning many races against the Lambos and Ferraris you’re up against.
So what, exactly, did you gain?
by flamingmonkeyass on Dec 11, 2025 2:29 AM CST reply actions
Fran had been successful at his previous spots as well. Something rotten is going on at A&M and the common denominator doesn’t appear to be coaching. This constant turmoil around who exactly is in charge in B-CS is increasingly looking like a feature, not a bug.
The original post is full o’ win, though I suspect Vash meant Lopez instead of Granato. And I further suspect Vash is a Houston guy. No one outside of Houston would know a Granato unless they were big fans of Olympic women’s ice hockey. Cammie FTW!
by CrazyJoeDavola on Dec 11, 2025 3:31 AM CST reply actions
Nice work Vash. I don’t hate the Sumlin hire myself; I don’t know that anyone better would step into the clusterfuck that is the TAMU situation w/r/t Perry, Byrne, and BOR. Who with a better option would agree to come to a situation with that much upheaval, the structural retardation, and the loss of skill players while entering into the toughest football conference in the country.
Anyway, I like Sumlin and wish him well. Cannot say the same for TAMU.
by Toadvine on Dec 11, 2025 4:33 AM CST reply actions
“I don’t hate the Sumlin hire myself; I don’t know that anyone better would step into the clusterfuck that is the TAMU situation w/r/t Perry, Byrne, and BOR. Who with a better option would agree to come to a situation with that much upheaval, the structural retardation, and the loss of skill players while entering into the toughest football conference in the country.”
This.
I still don’t understand why you pull the trigger on Sherman unless you KNOW you’re getting a better option. And if that’s the case you have that guy lined up way before you make anything official.
Sumlin might not be a terrible hire, but I just can’t envision a scenario where he succeeds at a substantially better rate than Sherman would have. I guess I’m struggling with why you ditch Sherman NOW unless you’ve got a sure-fire hit lined up. If the a&m leadership doesn’t think he’s a sure thing and they went ahead with the hire/fire anyway than that doesn’t speak very well of a&m leadership. If they do think he’s a sure-fire success that might be even more damning.
by flamingmonkeyass on Dec 11, 2025 5:00 AM CST reply actions
My guess is that the ags observed the changes Texas made after a bad season and are now doing a typically poor job of trying to imitate us by making many changes on their coaching staff. I agree with the sense that this first hire is not an obvious upgrade.
by lowsmoke on Dec 11, 2025 6:50 AM CST reply actions
It’s a unbelievably stupid hire, and thus perfect for aggy
by RS on Dec 11, 2025 7:23 AM CST reply actions
What is an “aggie”, anyway? Do they even exist anymore? I think a more apt mascot for their school would be the Texas A&M Big Box Houston Church-Goers.
by A. Sventura on Dec 11, 2025 7:52 AM CST reply actions
The Aggies relentless attempts to cover up their acute inferiority complex continues to lead them into one implosion after another. In Sumlin, they may have found someone who will take orders from those who know nothing about how to win football games. Whoever Sumlin is told to hire as his DC should be another interesting chapter.
by I said I on Dec 11, 2025 8:19 AM CST reply actions
I still think they should a hired Fedora…
at lest they would have had an answer for LSU’s Miles with their own version of the “mad hatter”!
Hook’Em boys!
Bennie Wylies SHSU Bearkats to win nat’l championship game says the master of the weight room.
Rumor has it Jesus &Wylie were at semi-final game recruiting SHSU’s Bell to QB horns next year.
by jet on Dec 11, 2025 8:32 AM CST reply actions
a nap-prone, conservative white grandpa nearing retirement that Packers fans still hate
Brett Favre?
This is some seriously nice writing, Vash.
by parlin on Dec 11, 2025 8:43 AM CST reply actions
Is there even anyone else they could have gotten at this point? I mean do you think smart was even an option?
by Bunbury on Dec 11, 2025 9:26 AM CST reply actions
I don’t really understand the hire. They went out and hired an offensive guy that relies on a Mickey mouse offense, the spread. A&M had zero issues on offense. This is actually a downgrade on offense. They now go from a fantastic o-line coach who built a great pro-scheme offense to a spread offense. The question coming in was can A&M play enough defense to win. Now it is can a spread offense work in the SEC AND can the defense be good enough. Please don’t bring up Florida and Meyer. That was a run-oriented offense, but a 3rd generation Mouse Davis offense
by Codaxx on Dec 11, 2025 9:28 AM CST reply actions
They didn’t even call Paul Rhodes at ISU. That s a terrible mistake. I am not sure he can recruit, but he can sure as hell coach. what about D’Antonio at MSU? Gundy at OSU? Utah coach? Sumlin may work-out, but the search was pretty much a farce.
by Codaxx on Dec 11, 2025 9:34 AM CST reply actions
Note to self - Do not piss off ScipioTex or Vasherized!
by Snide Aside on Dec 11, 2025 9:39 AM CST reply actions
I think the mindset in College Station has graduated from self justification to …. Hey we have screwed this up so many times and the fans keep coming back …. Let’s hit the gas and chunk the steering wheel out the window because we can’t self destruct. We are Aggies.
Good riddance. I wish they would just move this school to Louisiana because it’s about to embarrass the entire state and become the punch line to every college football fan in the South regarding Texas football.
by Growler on Dec 11, 2025 9:52 AM CST reply actions
Just to continue on with the Blazing Saddles references from the other day…….
The first meeting
Aggie Donor (among many): Come on boys! Where’s yer speert? I don’t here no sangin! How bout a good ol Aggie work song?
Sumlin and coaching staff: I get no kick from champaign…………….some get a kick from cocai-hay-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay-yain!..
Aggie Donor (among many): Hold it! Hold it! What in na hell is that shit?! I meant a song. I real song. Something like,
Some may boast of prowess bold
Of the schools they think so grand
But there’s a spirit can ne’er be told
It’s the Spirit of Aggieland.
(Sumlin et al look around at each other confused)
Aggie Donor (among many): Don’t know that one huh?
Well how about "The Aggie War Hymn"
Sumlin and coaching staff: (in unison) The…Aggie….War ..Hymn?
Aggie Donor (among many): Awe come on! You know!
Hullabaloo, Caneck, Caneck
All hail to dear old Texas A&M
Rally around Maroon and White….
Sumlin and coaching staff: (Snicker)
by jkabuldog on Dec 11, 2025 10:06 AM CST reply actions
I had to come back and say what really put this post over the top was the Culture Club reference.
by bigdukesix on Dec 11, 2025 10:13 AM CST reply actions
Great stuff,
On a serious note, I find it really interesting there was not more interest from the coaching blue bloods out there, you would think moving to the SEC, having a TX recruiting base, and all of the resources and alumni the Ags have that some really good coaches would crawl to College Station to take that gig.
If they got themselves a top 10 coach I think they could make some noise but for some reason they cant.
Why is that!
by VA Horn on Dec 11, 2025 10:32 AM CST reply actions
InvAggies defense they really did not go after a BCScoach. Which is the greatest question.
by Codaxx on Dec 11, 2025 10:48 AM CST reply actions
Codaxx,
Perhaps a combo of Codeine & Xanax, John Jolly style? Sippin on the Sizzzzurp. I have no clue what you just typed.
But regarding your post before that:
Would you describe Baylor’s spread offense as a mickey mouse gimmick? Or Oklahoma State’s? Just curious.
I agree it’s baffling Paul Rhoads (or other more qualified candidates) didn’t get a fair look but there’s no way he would have taken the job. He’s a smart guy. No elite coach in his right mind would walk into this situation for the amount of money A&M can afford.
In the end, Sumlin might have been the best they could get, given the power struggles and track record of firing the last three coaches.
But it won’t be good enough. He better negotiate a nice buyout.
CJD,
I’m in Austin. An Aggie buddy said Granato was on the radio this week being a typical grating idiot, citing that his source at Boise (a guy on the current staff that used to coach high school ball in Houston) confirmed the Aggies indeed offered Petersen $4.25 million.
by Vasherized on Dec 11, 2025 10:54 AM CST reply actions
Fun post, great work V.
Wonder if Kliff Kingsbury (OC) will remain at UH, go with Sumlin to A&M, or join Leach at Washington State?
by PoofyBevo on Dec 11, 2025 10:59 AM CST reply actions
That Aggie picture still amazes me. I just can’t believe that any young dude would subject himself to THAT freely. They must have been coercion at gun point or something.
by Balltastic Motivization on Dec 11, 2025 11:06 AM CST reply actions
Well, this hurt.
I don’t like the timing of the Sherman fire.
by ColoradoAg on Dec 11, 2025 11:15 AM CST reply actions
I think the spread is Mickey Mouse. I have said I hate OU’s gimmick offense for yrs. I much prefer a pro system. Spread offense relies way too much on a single player. That is why it makes little sense for teams that recruit in the top 25. Why would you put so much emphasis on a single spot when you have a talent advantage in almost every spot in 70-80% of your games.
I meant to type in Aggie defense they never net after a BCs coach. That is the biggest question out there. Why was the search so limited. Couple pie in the sky guys, but legit search. I just do not understand how you basically look at sum in and fedora and call it a day. No idea if the other guys would have, but if you believe you are a top 15 job how do you not call the guys I mentioned
by Codaxx on Dec 11, 2025 11:23 AM CST reply actions
i don’t think sumlin’s necessarily in over his head w/ scheme, theory etc.
http://smartfootball.com/offense/the-original-one-back-spread-offense
he’s been around the block, worked with guys that most everyone sees as some sort of offensive genius, and has a good staff w/ kingsbury and stewart at least. lots of these spread coaches get pantsed in games big and small..leach, holgorsen, fedora, whoever.
and the people saying the spread can’t work in the sec…i mean, have you watched the sec? leach had kentucky scoring like mad when he was there, spurrier?, petrino, urban/mullen spread their guys out even if they’re gonna run it.
yea questions on recruiting and defense etc etc for sure.
also, this was an awesome read. nice work, vash.
by mattdubya on Dec 11, 2025 12:05 PM CST reply actions
I hate Granato…he ruins 1560 for me. 610 is no better though. Seems like most of the sports radio here in Houston is full of the moronic aggie type. It was sad the other day when a caller decided to put them in their place and he was completely right.
by STLaw on Dec 11, 2025 12:23 PM CST reply actions
Everything aggy does seems to be knee jerk reaction to Texas. SEC ya in outrage for the invisible LHN. Fire Sherman as punishment for giving up the last score board. Hire Sumlin so they can say they are less racist than Texas. Surely Sumlin knows that a$m is the whitest major college campus in the whole country?
by Flash on Dec 11, 2025 12:27 PM CST reply actions
ColoradoAg, your school’s drinking is tearing this family apart.
Well, this really was a donkey show, so let’s accept the inevitable and move on to who’s next for Aggy - can we start a pool? Date, record and new coach? Closest to the pin wins an RC bobblehead.
Date of Sumlin’s Dismissal - Nov. 30, 2014
3 year record - 13-23
New Coach - Houston Nutt
by Inanimate Carbon Rod on Dec 11, 2025 12:48 PM CST reply actions
I like this game.
Dismissal - December 1, 2025
“New coach” - R.C. Slocum
OC -Bartholomew Switzer (we’re running the Bone!)
DC - Gary Darnell
by ColoradoAg on Dec 11, 2025 12:55 PM CST reply actions
Incredible post, Vasherized. Sums it all up very nicely.
Sumlin better win because the people that hired him won’t be going to bat for him if things go sideways.
by Scipio Tex on Dec 11, 2025 1:21 PM CST reply actions
really enjoyed that, c-ag. thanks for passing in on.
particularly liked some of the little touches, such as the brand of the keyboard. also enjoyed the screen grab of the gmail account. ks: Bill, what the hell is go . . . puzzled, though, that the gmail suggests that $b sent an e to peterson titled I want 8 figures or GTFO. ?? would like to see the draft.
by yeh on Dec 11, 2025 1:27 PM CST reply actions
Can we please put a permanent moratorium on displaying a pic of our dipshit governor flashing the Hook ‘Em sign? It’s sacrilegious.
by Joetx on Dec 11, 2025 2:15 PM CST reply actions
Greg Byrne (son of Bill), along with the Wazzu AD, made the best hire of the offseason. The regents neutered Bill again with this coaching hire but will place all blame on him when it goes south. The progress Sherm made will be wiped away and the aggies will be back to square one in 3 years. This statement is outside the obvious Meyer hire in Columbus. How long before the aggies come crawling back to the big 12?
by Groundhog Day on Dec 11, 2025 2:27 PM CST reply actions
Sumlin’s scheme and offensive coaching is not going to be the problem in the SEC. Meyer has already demonstrated that the spread’s principles apply in that conference the same as they do everywhere else in football.
The problem is whether he can recruit elite players or effectively gameplan in important games. Those are the coaching attributes necessary to elevate above other programs with similar resources.
Great job Vasherized, that was really good.
by Nickel Rover on Dec 11, 2025 2:28 PM CST reply actions
Very enjoyable post that leaves me with this question: Was the Sumlin hire less about finding the right guy and more about avoiding embarrassing rejections?
My personal take is the Aggies were more concerned with keeping their prized 2012 recruiting class together than finding the coach who could maximize all the classes from 2013 forward. Hire in haste, repent at leisure.
I don’t want to give the Ags any ideas but the first assistant I’d hire would be Larry Porter, who just got fired by the University of Memphis after going 3-21 as head coach in two years. Before the Memphis disaster, he was National Recruiter of the Year in 2007 and 2009 as an assistant LSU. Looks like he can recruit in the SEC and he needs a job. If it didn’t make so much sense, I’d expect it to happen.
by cirque du salado on Dec 11, 2025 3:30 PM CST reply actions
I like Sumlin. I just don’t see how this solves the Aggies problems with their defensive personnel and performance. I was in the Strong camp for them.
I wonder what Bruce Matthews will think of Sumlin’s blocking schemes and if they are preparing his sons for the league. Sherman had the uniqueness of a balanced, pro-style attack that developed o-lineman. He’d be on my list, if I were Muschamp.
by ultralight on Dec 11, 2025 4:23 PM CST reply actions
“Texas A&M Big Box Houston Church-Goers”.
“I’m Pastor Danny, and that’s success in life!”
While I find all of this amusing on some level, I’m hoping Sumlin manages to revive his career at whatever 3rd tier university hires him four years from now.
And for the record, I think he’ll do at least as well over the next three years as any other coach they would have brought in might have done.
by Walden Ponderer on Dec 11, 2025 4:57 PM CST reply actions
Sherman was another Greg Davis. Get NFL talent and deploy it in predictable fashion and rely on execution. Difference is that I think maybe Davis’ pass schemes were actually more varied and Sherman actually knew how to build a running game.
My point, Muschamp can do better.
by Nickel Rover on Dec 11, 2025 5:01 PM CST reply actions
The signature post here and everywhere regarding the latest Aggie coaching fuckatation. Well done, Vash.
Sideways would be a win for Sumlin. This thing is going south in a hurry, and I would wager $10,000.00 (didn’t someone just do that and have it blow up in his face?) that “south” puts them below Mississippi and/or Miss. State most seasons for the rest of this decade.
by beowulf on Dec 11, 2025 5:59 PM CST reply actions
4 out of 5 LOLs agree that this was a great post.
by BrickHorn on Dec 11, 2025 9:32 PM CST reply actions
I wouldn’t count Aggie out completely. This all comes from Perry, which means someone with means has agreed to do what’s necessary to recruit in the SEC.
Thanks for the post ColoradoAg, that was hilarious.
What’s wrong with the Iowa State guy that he didn’t get a sniff from anyone? Hell, imagine what he could do with Texas’ resources.
by Juice on Dec 11, 2025 10:04 PM CST reply actions
The best thing that Sumlin could do at this point would be to scrape off Venables from OU (if the angry little brother comes back)… or just hire the angry little brother.
Otherwise, that team will run into an SEC buzzsaw.
by Worldwide Pants on Dec 11, 2025 11:00 PM CST reply actions
Paul Rhoads won’t be leaving Iowa state soon, and certainly not for aggie. Just my opinion.
by Noone on Dec 11, 2025 11:41 PM CST reply actions
WWPants: Why would Venables leave OU for A&M? It’s not even a lateral move.
Mike Stoops may be available but it seems likely he would be looking to jump for another head coaching job if he had the opportunity. I would want either and the OU defensive system in any conference though. I don’t understand OU fans’ frustration with Venables. As if Mike never had a bad game there.
Rhoads would have been great for A&M, obviously I don’t know if they could have got him.
by Nickel Rover on Dec 12, 2025 12:07 AM CST reply actions
Major’s name officially listed on UH HC search list. Oh Joy
by STLaw on Dec 12, 2025 12:24 AM CST reply actions
A+M needs recruiters, but most of their current ones are on DeRuyter’s side of the ball - which makes me doubt he is going anywhere. And frankly, he shouldn’t. A+M’s D wasn’t great this year - we know that. But it certainly wasn’t bad. The scheme was pretty high risk at times - mostly to offset teams picking on the secondary, but it was last year too and nobody was complaining then.
In numbers terms, we lead the big 12 in sacks but were last in interceptions and fumble recoveries. 4th in PD’s.
We were 13th in rush defense and 113th in pass defense. The differential looks bad on its own, but in compariosn to OU (49/83), K-State (39/104) and Mizzou (44/91) not horrible. We gave up on average 386 yards per game (66th) - sandwiched again between OU, K-State and Mizzou - with a spread of only 10 yards.
In any given big 12 year, if I am told that the D will be in the same bracket as OU, K-state and MIzzou, I am going to take it and trust that we will put up enough points to win games.
by EnglishAg on Dec 12, 2025 2:32 AM CST reply actions
I’m fascinated by how decisions are made. What is the best process for making a good decision? What process leads to bad ones? BTW, academic studies show that there is very little correlation between the decider’s intelligence and the quality of the decision. Very smart people make very bad decisions all the time, usually after a lot of analysis.
That said, I’m pretty sure that the retention/firing decision for Sherman should not have been based on a 40 yard Tucker FG. Most Ags I talk to say that if Tucker missed, Sherman was probably safe.
That said, Sherman is gone. Now a new HC had to be hired. The Ags seem to have a two-pronged process where Byrne interviewed up-and-comers and the Ag Big Cigars talked to the agents of a bunch of high profile coaches trying to gin up their clients’ salaries and security. They finally settled on Sumlin as, evidently, the least worst option.
Sumlin might be very successful. There is no reason to think he can’t be successful. If he isn’t, it will be evry easy in retrospect to point to where things went wrong.
by TaylorTRoom on Dec 12, 2025 7:04 AM CST reply actions
Correct me if I’m wrong, didnt the Aggies fire RC Slocum after an 8-4 season?
by Saltshaker on Dec 12, 2025 7:21 AM CST reply actions
You’re wrong. They fired him after a 6 - 6 season. You know, at the time I thought they had two reasonable responses- extend Slocum’s contract as a visible sign of real (not lip service) support, or fire him. They chose the latter.
by TaylorTRoom on Dec 12, 2025 7:43 AM CST reply actions
You’re wrong. They fired him after a 6 – 6 season.
More importantly he was 1-4 against Mack.
by srr50 on Dec 12, 2025 8:18 AM CST reply actions
If I was as consumed with outdoing big brother as the Ags are, I would have tried to harvest something from the K-State coaching tree. Don’t know if they’ve noticed how well Snyder and family have fared against Texas.
by cirque du salado on Dec 12, 2025 9:14 AM CST reply actions
What is the best process for making a good decision?
Wake up! You’re dreaming. You’ve used “best” and “good” without mentioning either the process or the beneficiaries of the outcome.
That said, I think most of us have noticed that the process is driven by whoever has the biggest dick in the pool of beneficiaries - and the latter do not all have the same - or even similar - benefits to gain.
It seems that dick did not, does not, and will not belong to Dollar Bill, who was newsletterly exhorting agy to ease up on their coach immediately before their coach was sacked.
I’d be interested to see discourse as to the identity and possible perceived benefits of the agy version of “Big Cigars”, if someone has time to write or point.
by Tex Long on Dec 12, 2025 9:22 AM CST reply actions
Scipio Tex wrote: Sumlin better win because the people that hired him won’t
be going to bat for him if things go sideways.
That’s the beauty of the it all, Scipio, as none of the guys who hired him (read: Jim Wilson) will be around when ‘things goes sideways.’ Term limits and all that. It’s perfect, really; buy a board seat (read: write a big check to Perry), go out and swing your big tool, whack a few folks with it, piss on the little guys, then let your board term expire and let those behind you deal with the crap on the floor. It’s the traditional Aggie recipe for success, last played-out during conference move negotiations.
With Sumlin the revolving door continues. Sherman deserves better - good luck to him!!
by dunkendo on Dec 12, 2025 9:37 AM CST reply actions
Bill Byrne lament: Well, it may not be very big around, but it sure is short!
by J.R.69 on Dec 12, 2025 11:29 AM CST reply actions
Byrne said his salary is $2 million/year, which makes him the 2nd lowest paid coach in the SEC, ahead of only Joker Phillips. Phillips has over $400k more for staff salary than Sherman had, so it will be interesting to see if the Ags go cheap there.
by TaylorTRoom on Dec 12, 2025 11:52 AM CST reply actions
For people who say they don’t care about TAMU, you seem to spend a lot of time down playing them. Go to an TAMU site and Texas is mentioned but not like on Texas Blogs. They left get over it. They have!
by What Ever on Dec 12, 2025 12:37 PM CST reply actions
I’m not sure Sumlin has been that great of a recruiter. I don’t expect him to keep up with UT, OU, A&M, but he is in one of the best cities for recruiting, and I would think he should be able to consistently be at the top of CUSA.
Sumlin’s recruiting rankings in CUSA (per Rivals):
2011 - 9
2010 - 1
2009 - 3
2008 - 9
He’s got a 1st and 3rd, but also two 9ths. Being 9th in CUSA is BAD.
by ut-06 on Dec 12, 2025 12:48 PM CST reply actions
They left get over it.
“They” left a lot else, besides. I’m starting to see more agy who are embarrassed about being agy, now. Let’s see how the sales of maroon carrots pickups go for the next 9 months and then see if they go (back) up or (even further) down.
by Tex Long on Dec 12, 2025 12:49 PM CST reply actions
Sumlin may just keep the job forever. Each year he can come out and say “I’ve never lost to tu”.
by tdwalsh on Dec 12, 2025 2:54 PM CST reply actions
’What Ever said: December 12th, 2011 at 11:37 am
For people who say they don’t care about TAMU, you seem to spend a lot of time down playing them. Go to an TAMU site and Texas is mentioned but not like on Texas Blogs. They left get over it. They have!"
They’re a little pre-occupied with this clusterfuck right now but give them time—-they’ll get back around to “tu”. I can’t speak for anyone else on here but there’s really nothing about their leaving to “get over.”
by Jake Lonergan on Dec 12, 2025 3:20 PM CST reply actions
I’m not sure Sumlin has been that great of a recruiter. I don’t expect him to keep up with UT, OU, A&M, but he is in one of the best cities for recruiting, and I would think he should be able to consistently be at the top of CUSA.
I don’t know if you’ve been to UH recently but there’s a reason they don’t get a lot of top recruits. Facilities are well below grade and the school is just outside the ghetto (or in it depending who you ask). They’re getting pretty much the Big 12 leftovers.
Personally I like the hire. Sumlin has a more diverse offense background then he gets credit for and A&M will not come out running the Air Raid next season. A defensive coach might’ve been a better way to go but we really don’t have the athletes right now to put together a top caliber SEC defense, I expect us to attempt to emulate something more along the lines of Arkansas and try to be a more offensive minded team. We got lit up against passing teams but our run defense was actually pretty solid this past season and that should serve us well in a more run-oriented league.
He’s an up and coming coach who a lot of other schools had interest in. Most big name coaches started off as coordinators or as guys who had somewhat proven themselves at smaller schools, you definitely can’t write off Sumlin at this point. Coaching hires are a crapshoot in general anyway, I’m hoping we made a good roll on this one.
by ag96 on Dec 12, 2025 4:09 PM CST reply actions
Sumlin’s contract has been announced: 5 years at $2 million per year.
by maroon carrots on Dec 12, 2025 4:36 PM CST reply actions
@ag96:
He was looking at Sumlin’s rankings against CUSA competition. There is a lot of excess talent in Houston, i.e., talent that UT, OU and even Aggy leave lying around to put him on par or better with the CUSA schools, irresepective of facitliies.
by Jake Lonergan on Dec 12, 2025 5:13 PM CST reply actions
I believe that contract makes him the second lowest paid in the SEC. That tells you all you need to know about him and the “search” if you didn’t know it already.
by Jake Lonergan on Dec 12, 2025 5:14 PM CST reply actions
Sumlin was a bargain basement, desperation hire.
For comparison - 11 of the 14 teams in the future SEC paid their head coach more in 2011 than Kevin Sumlin will be paid in 2012.
Mike Sherman was paid $250,000 more in 2011 than Sumlin will be paid in 2012.
In 2011, TCU and SMU paid Patterson and Jones more than Sumlin will be paid in 2012.
After Texas Tech and Baylor contract renegotiations, Tuberville and Briles will also make more money than Sumlin in 2012.
In 2012, Sumlin will be only the 6th highest paid college football coach in Texas (7th if you count ex-aggie coach Mike Sherman).
Here are the highest paid SEC coaches and where they would have ranked in 2011:
11b) Kevin Sumlin @ A&M - $2 million per year
11a) Mike Sherman @ A&M - was making $2.25 million per year
10) Dan Mullen @ Mississippi State - $2.5 million per year
9) Gary Pinkel @ Missouri - $2.75 million per year
8) Houston Nutt @ Ole Miss - was making $2.75 million per year
7) SteveSpurrier @ South Carolina - $2.8 million per year
6) Will Muschamp @ Florida - $3 million per year
5) Mark Richt @ Georgia - $3.5 million per year
4) Gene Chizik @ Auburn - $3.5 million per year
3) Bobby Petrino @ Arkansas - $3.7 million per year
2) Les Miles @ LSU $3.9 million per year
1) Nick Saban @ Alabama - $4.725 million per year
Source: http://www.coacheshotseat.com/SalariesContracts.htm
by maroon carrots on Dec 12, 2025 5:22 PM CST reply actions
Dennis Franchione made $2,012,200 at A&M in 2007 (not counting the buy-out).
A&M paid Franchione $12,200 more in 2007 than they will pay Sumlin in 2012.
by maroon carrots on Dec 12, 2025 5:28 PM CST reply actions
Why are the aggies paying Sumlin less than A&M’s last two coaches?
Why are the aggies paying Sumlin less than 5 other college football coaches in Texas?
Why are the aggies paying Sumlin less than 10 SEC coaches in 2012?
Why are the aggies not paying Sumlin the kind of money that a head coach should make at a top 15 school?
by maroon carrots on Dec 12, 2025 5:38 PM CST reply actions
A&m wanted sumlin the whole time anyway. . . The fact that he has accepted little cash doesn’t come into it. Why pay someone 3 when they will bite your hand off for 2?
The question is what will happen with the excess? Sherman’s assistants were paid very well -because they were very good. The spin was that sherm accepted 1.8m first up in order to get a good staff.I hope the same approach will apply to Sumlin’s staff - or he will hold over most of them.
by EnglishAg on Dec 12, 2025 8:27 PM CST reply actions
maroon: The short answer is, they probably can’t afford it.
by Bob in Houston on Dec 12, 2025 8:35 PM CST reply actions
Bob in Houston - Lol. You’re probably right.
by maroon carrots on Dec 12, 2025 11:12 PM CST reply actions
EnglishAg -
So, let me get this straight… you’re saying that:
Kevin Sumlin was A&M’s # 1 choice. Bowtie Loftin wanted Sumlin over Urban Meyer, Chris Petersen, or Kirby Smart.
But A&M was reportedly willing to pay Urban Meyer or Chris Petersen $5 million per year. So, if Sumlin was A&M’s # 1 choice, why is Bowtie Loftin only paying Sumlin $2 million per year instead of the $5 million per year that he would have paid Meyer or Petersen?
You answered that A&M shouldn’t pay a black man $5 million per year, when they can low-ball him for $2 million per year. Is that right?
by maroon carrots on Dec 12, 2025 11:26 PM CST reply actions
What i have gleaned from the internets is that the A+M regents were only ever interested in Sumlin. Fedora, Richt, Meyer, Peterson, Smart and whoever else were either internet rumour or stalking horses - and frankly pretty bad ones at that because they weren’t on point. The qualities that brought them to hire Sumlin are unknown to me obviously - but given Sumlin’s profile, we can assume they include: recent winning record, salary, ablity to recruit Houston and East Texas, prior relationship at A+M, the ability to put points on the board, and the ability to stay awake during the third quarter. Only Fedora comes close to ticking those boxes.
I don’t think that any public institution should pay someone 5m if they can get away with paying the same person 2m. Why would they? If he doesn’t want to take the 2m, he can stay at UofH.
In your mind, what factors would dictate that he should get paid more at A+M than he did at UofH?
To my mind, he will be doing essentially the same job in what most people would consider a better environment. If UofH matched his A+M salary, would he stay there? How about if they paid 100k more than A+M? 200k more? Even if Uof H paid him 300k a year more, I bet he would move to A+M.
While coaching football and being a lawyer are very differnet jobs, I am looking at 2 job offers right now. 1 is in London with a super premium firm, the other Riyadh with a good but not great firm. There is a reason that the job in Riyadh would pay me substantially more than the one in London - they know they need to pay me to uproot my family to Riyadh (with all that goes with it) and work for a relatively weaker brand. The same doesn’t apply to Sumlin and A+M - the campus is an hour away from where he currently works and everything on it is an upgrade.
If anything, he should be willing to take a pay cut to work at A+M.
by EnglishAg on Dec 13, 2025 6:04 AM CST reply actions
EnglishAg, don’t know if you’re still following this thread, but check out this USA Today coaching salary database-
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/football/story/2011-11-17/cover-college-football-coaches-salaries-rise/51242232/1
Click on the “+” sign next to a coach’s name, and you can see what his staff makes. Turns out that Sherman’s staff outearned only ISU and KSU in the Big 12, and would be dead last in the SEC. I believe the Ags have short term financial issues (will be much less severe in two years barring some catastrophe), and that colors their decisions in football.
by TaylorTRoom on Dec 13, 2025 7:12 AM CST reply actions
Leaving aside for the moment the fact that Petersen and Meyer were about as likely to come as Tomlin or Belichek…. and $2 million actually seems kind of steep.
Why?
Because whoever agroholic hired was a 3-year caretaker decision. Three 4-8 seasons, then bring on the next sucker.
But hey, it’s just money, right?
by Walden Ponderer on Dec 13, 2025 7:17 AM CST reply actions
TTR - thanks for the link. The 2010 figure of 1.6m includes spending over 450,000 on DeRuyter.
Other than Nolan Cromwell heading back to the NFL, Sherm’s assistants haven’t left through choice - Kirk Doll got the axe and and DeRuyter cleaned out the defensive staff when he came in.
Interesting numbers of note - Sumlin was on 1.2m, Fedora 650k and Larry Porter 750k last year.
A+M’s financial position has been discussed at length - god only knows how they will be able to fund the buyouts and all the recruits we are going to be paying.
by EnglishAg on Dec 13, 2025 9:13 AM CST reply actions
Seems to me like this move has destroyed all of the goodwill earned with the move to the SEC. I don’t have a single Ag friend that wants to talk about it. One of them told me he called his old man, cursed him for raising him aggie, and said he was reborn an LSU Tiger. His old man called him back, left him a msg that began “T! I! G! E! R! S!” and ended with him explaining that he called HIS old man, and did the same thing. Generations are being wiped off the board, it’s that bad.
by Snake Plissken on Dec 13, 2025 9:44 PM CST reply actions

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