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How To Timeout, The Scott Brooks Way!

By Scipio Tex
<strong>Kevin, show me on this clipboard where you'd like to make a very difficult shot so we can score.</strong>
Kevin, show me on this clipboard where you'd like to make a very difficult shot so we can score.

HOW TO TIMEOUT, THE SCOTT BROOKS WAY!

  1. Repeat a simple verb six or seven times in an emphatic tone. "DEFEND, DEFEND, DEFEND, DEFEND, DEFEND, DEFEND!" Or: "RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN!" Yeah, I just coached the shit out of you.
  2. Hold unblemished white board and Sharpie stage props - useful gesturing tools for verb mantra
  3. Make a qualitative observation with no actionable component. Examples: "We're playing a little fast, OK?" And: "We need good shots. Take shots that are good." Or: "Kevin, get free for a shot somewhere open. You are good at making basketball baskets."
  4. "Serge, I want to rest you this 4th quarter in case we go to overtime."
  5. Glance at Kendrick Perkins. Note inability to finish any shot within 5 feet of the basket, ineffectual 3.5 rebounds per game series average, Ginobili and Parker finishing at the rim with impunity, inability to extend on shooters, or recover to the paint on screens. Pause. Reflect. "Go get 'em Perk!"
  6. Startle at seeing Nick Collison on Thunder bench. Nice guy. If only he had a role.
  7. Puzzle at Popovich. He'd better get Tim Duncan more shots or he's going to have an Alpha Dog problem!
  8. "Fellas, San Antonio is cutting, driving, and passing on offense with the odd intent of getting any open man an uncontested shot. Gimmicks. When they get back to isolations and two man games, we'll have 'em right where we want 'em."
  9. "Alright! Man up! And run through three screens 20 feet from the basket, big men!" Turns to Royal Ivey: "Zone principles are illegal, right? No!? Huh. I'm going to have to reflect on that."
  10. "Guys, they've proven they can't guard Kevin Durant. So, Kendrick, you stand down on the block pretending you're not afraid of the ball; Fisher - you do veteran things; Serge, you stand 18 feet from the basket waiting for a jump shot since you're 6-9, built like Adonis, and can jump through the ceiling, and I didn't ask you to learn how to drop-step in the offseason; Sefolosha, guard someone mentally even though we're on offense; Westbrook, I'll have everyone stare at you while standing perfectly still as the shot clock winds down and you take three Spurs off of the dribble. Ready? Let's do this!"

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