Why UCLA Bothers Me

Fact.

You nailed it. Not sure I had fully formulated that thought, but that’s it.

We’re going to be so grumpy walking out of the Rose Bowl, wondering why UCLA had to pick us for their lone show-up game of the year.

Barf.

Hotel maid and UPS guy lines — well played, sir, as usual.

Isn’t there some fantake rule that any UCLA piece be accompanied by 2 or more pictures of hot coed talent?

Not so fast there my friend! (Corso’s voice)

 Yeah, I know they do not get preoccupied seeing beautiful women because their cheerleaders are proof of that but unlike all the fans in the stands who are vegans, the football team on the other hand are a bunch of meat-eaters and I suggest they will be preoccupied with Bevo.
 I mean in their eyes he has gotta look like a walking barbeque festival. For that reason maybe they won’t know there’s a football game going on for the first 3 quarters.
 Maybe we can do like houston and take a three touchdown lead into the second half.
 With a little bit of luck that might give us enough of a cushion to win by 2 to 3 points.

WEATHER FORCAST:
game time 72° partly cloudy with a lite breeze (southwest)
Figures to be like Galvestons Stewart Beech in late November.
I figure our boys will be feeling rather frisky for all 4 quarter.
as long as there’s no southern Cal rumbling (with the exception of Malcolm Brown plowing a DB 20 yards downfield. ) it should be a great day for a football game.
Texas. 38
UCLA. 10
Note: we finally get some points off special teams or defense

I was saying the exact same thing last year. How is it that these jokers care for 2 games a season and one of them has to be against us? Then I remember that we’re Texas and we seem to get everyone’s best game. See our past 3 against the K-State Voodoocats. It’s cool though, bring it, Bruins!

Seriously, just kidding. Please dont bring it.

I actually considered UCLA for college. The lack of consistent enthusiasm for football always pissed me off.

The clown on the vespa line was money. You let this one come to you naturally and it shows. Great stuff.

Prediction. Texas D mans up and makes them not want to try any more. I see Texas eek this one out.

Against UCLA and Kansas State I just mentally assume a loss and hope to be surprised.

2-1 with this team is about what I predicted after 3 games.

And this is our first road trip with 65 freshman in our two deep. All kinds of volatility ahead.

Let’s just hope we remember to take off the Mickey Mouse gloves before kickoff.

Well done, Scipio.

i had deja vu of having deja vu when i read the first part of this. inception.

with that said, 27-13 Texas.

Exactly! Hit it on the head.

Money, Scip. Straigt cash, homie.

Outcome depends on whether Bruins decide to play, or not.

History says they decide to play. At least for long enough to score more points in a half than we will manage for the whole game… unless Ash is allowed to pass or Case runs without getting crushed flat - or, perhaps even more unlikely, that Gilbert is fitted with a shock collar and Harsin trains him to not stare directly
at his primary receiver for thrty-seven seconds prior to releasing a pass. Perhaps a revisit to the 2010 Nebraska game plan is indicated?

The only thing incorrect in the above is your statement Aggies put a Texas win on their work e-mail auto-signatures for a year. Perhaps as a denizen of the mid-California coast, you do not have sufficient interactions with agy to know better, or perhaps your bloodlines are so pure that you have no relatives - even bymarriage - of the agy persuasion, but I have none of those (dis)qualifications, and I assure you that the duration is at minimum a decade or two. I say nothing about your use of “Texas win” rather than “win over tu”, although it is clear that your agy mindset is deficient therein.

Other than that - well done.

I had no idea yurts had migrated from Mongolia to the west coast. Informative and entertaining as always…well done.

I doubt that anyone who has not lived Out West has the frame of reference to make sense of what you are describing, Scipio… but, yeah, yer right.

A story with this title cannot have pictures of UCLA cheerleaders, obviously.

But, you know.

It’s just a bunch of fairly talented guys running around randomly, somewhat bored. Their schemes appear to have been drawn up with bottle caps and twigs during warm ups.

Sounds just like a Rick Barnes offense.

You somewhow manage to put into words what I am thinking. Agape, imo. Wish I could write like that.

This game scares the living hell out of me and I put our chances at a win at around 30% for the reasons you so eloquently described. This is not a bad football team, it’s just looked like one so far. We will see a different UCLA team on Saturday. Would be thrilled with another 1 point win.

5:30 on a Friday afternoon? Really? Isn’t that what mornings are for?

Skippy is the perfect coach for that program. Eventually, even Colorado got tired of his crap, but he can stay there forever.

srr50:

*golf clap

(not sure why it didn’t come through the first time)

Truly a great read. Screw ucla

I’m with PB. Not sure how, but you nailed it again. I hope the second part of Peter’s comment doesn’t come to pass, though.

Do you think Manny Diaz has watched film of last year’s game?

Absolutely brilliant… This belongs on the board in the Orange locker room…

QB’s that excel at injury… except against Texas and they can miraculously run the option and gain 100 per game…

Sooners will taunt you as they hand you a Beef Mexi-melt in the Taco Bell drive thru.

And, if they think you’re a Mohammadan, they’ll even draw you a picture!

With respect (or disrespect) to last year, Texas was very UCLAish. When it became apparent that UCLA had come to play football, the Longhorns laid down.
This year’s Longhorns will not lay down. They will fight to the bitter (or not-so-bitter, hopefully) end.
Even if there’s only a chance in a million of Texas winning this game, this year’s team sees that as “There’s a chance!” I think there are more chances than one in a million.
This year’s longhorns are going into UCLAtown to play some football.

And let’s be honest here, ags put wins over “tu” on their RESUMEs.

Spot on. Mirrored my thoughts on how can a .500 team look top 10 against us - and why are we always full of quit against them.

Not optimisitic about the game, at all. I hope we come to play the full 4 quarters. My goodness, I hope we don’t get a mudhole post. That would doom us for sure.

We may lose, but at least the Bruins won’t be aided and abetted by an OC who’s thinking of another creative way to not throw the ball beyond the line of scrimmage while he dreams of settling in on the upstairs crapper with Game of Thrones and a Sam’s Club package of Ding Dongs.

Oh my God, that was hilarious! You nailed it!

 “Man, Stanford playing all hard and shit. Fuck this!”

Oh shit that was great.

UCLA fans are too disinterested to even post on this thread. I laughed out loud when I read the Datone Jones bit.

Am I the only one who thinks that Rosario Dawson would probably be much much much better at football than Lord Viscount Nelson? And not just cause he’s dead and all? She’s got an inch and half on him.

srr50 said:

September 14th, 2011 at 6:20 am

It’s just a bunch of fairly talented guys running around randomly, somewhat bored. Their schemes appear to have been drawn up with bottle caps and twigs during warm ups.

Sounds just like a Rick Barnes offense.

Sad, but true.

Corporate HDQ is in Irvine, so I interact with quite a few Bruins. I basically had that conversation, word for word this week. I asked if he was going to the game, his response was a surprised “NO!” and a look that said “silly Texans and their football”.

Here I am in Dallas, its 112 in September and all I can think about is how wonderful it would be to get to go the Rose bowl six times a year to enjoy football and hot cheerleaders.

Damn, you’re funny, and scary smart.

Is this a reverse mudhole post?

Going to the game with my wife and kids. I will find it hard not to stare at their cheerleaders with my binoculars. Still, I must judge yearly who has the hottest cheerleaders- Oregon, UCLA, or Stanford. Hope I can keep it subtle. Otherwise it is a long ride home.

I am good friends with a couple of UCLA alums. They, of course, are totally clueless about the game. I could not talk them into going to the game despite repeated attempts." Why should I drive up to LA when I can surf all weekend and party on the beach?" The one consolation is that there will be no taunting after the game because they will not even realize that it has been played.

lurker, I think you’re right: Texas was very UCLA-like last year. The team had a stack of talent, and didn’t care in most games. But they sure as hell showed up against Nebraska.

LA had a heat wave a couple of weeks ago and I checked the forecast yesterday hoping another one would happen Saturday. My hope was that the UCLA players would rather be playing hacky-sack at Zuma Beach than playing football in 100 degree temps in Pasadena.

Alas, forecast high for Saturday is 82.

Its the UCLA fans that chap my ass.

Neighbor went there. Last year after game saw her and said you guys kicked our ass again.

“Cool, whatever.”

That stings man.

These guys are responsible for one of my most memorable birthdays. Rout-66 for my birthday present. We still owe them for that.

Great post.

The flipside, of course, is that you have a team of 3rd, 4th and 5th year players returning to the site of one of the greatest tragedies in Texas football history. So there is the 2 year revenge/redemption thing going for us.

lurker, I think you’re right: Texas was very UCLA-like last year. The team had a stack of talent, and didn’t care in most games. But they sure as hell showed up against Nebraska.

Yeah Nebraska probably feels the same way about as Scip does UCLA.

Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.

Sleep-walking through a schedule and saving its best shot for Texas sound so much like that school in the greater Bryan area. . . .However, I can’t think of two student bodies less similar.

Unlike UCLA and KSU, apparently, Mizzou has not once, ever, brought its best game against Texas. We’ve typically brought a board game, more often than not, Parcheesi, but once I remember bringing Mill Bornes. A game invented by the French and prominently featuring flat tires is an apt description of the Tigers last visit to Austin.

One of my favorite types of college football fanboy posts is demonstrated above. The one where the fan believes he can accurately forecast the future collective scienter of 85 collegiate athletes. “This team, unlike others, won’t give up! They will come to play on Saturday!” You have a better chance of predicting the precise time and date of Tara Reid’s next nipple slip, although I can’t quite figure out what you would do with such information. It is very easy to imprint a 40 year old alum’s motivation, focus and desire to win onto the 19 year old athlete’s brain. I do it weekly, and then remember what I was like at 19. I do expect it is true that at any given point this Saturday between 12:30 and 3:30 PT, numerous Texas athletes will be pondering their entry into UCLA endzones.

Great post, as always. This is a really, really tough game to pick. Scipio, curious to hear your thoughts on the line, I assume that is coming later in the week.

Great read, but you forgot to mention the most important factor in this game. No Greg Davis. 28-17 Horns.

have a 6-5 220 pound WR named Nelson Rosario who alternates between playing like Lord Nelson and Rosario Dawson

Clarification: Rosario Dawson is the upside with those dandy lungs and enormous hands, right? The 5’ nothing one armed Nelson seems like the downside.

HorninHouston, good call………because it’s MY call, too.

im on the other side.

I hate los angeles. with a passion. Its the worst damn city in the world. I went to see battle:los angeles just for the small chance that the aliens would win.

and ucla is way too bourgeois for me. uptight people.

Nelson was a baller. When he played for Stoops, one of his arms came off and he returned to a game to then lose an eye. Of course, Stoops told him to gut it out, so Lord Nelson returned to seal the victory even though he was shot in the chest for the last few minutes. Gamer.

Quite a hit with the Ladies, too.

Rosario Dawson was nails in Zookeeper.

Nelson wasn’t scared to penetrate the gaps between massive spaniards, which is nice.

“Nelson Rosario who alternates between playing like Lord Nelson and Rosario Dawson”

      I don’t know what that even means - Big Cigar

I didn’t realize until today - saw it on covers.com - that Texas was a 10 point favorite in Rout 66. Wow.

Beware the ghost of Cade McNown.

Texas was supposed to be pretty good that year. I still remember driving up for the game and hearing about how great our young corners were supposed to be.

Great read Scip. Very funny and probably true. However, I’m taking the opposite approach. I want them to bring their best. Win or lose I want their best game. I don’t care if it is the only game they get up for all season. (Although I assume they will be up for USC and maybe Stanford or Cal).
But I want their best game so that we will be forced to bring our best game. OU and Okie Lite will bring their best games and we need to be battle hardened and ready. We won’t always have the luxury of taking the first half of the game off. We need to challenges in order to find out how good we are. And I think we are a good football team.

Dusty Renfro, Tyson King, Kyle Richardson, and Gray Mosier all say Hi!

“I didn’t realize until today – saw it on covers.com – that Texas was a 10 point favorite in Rout 66. Wow.”

I’m guessing that that 73 point swing is the largest in Vegas history?

Richard Walton, Marty Cherry, Holla!!!

I thought I remembered a 16 point spread (in our favor) for Rout 66…..

The good news is we win, Texas 28, UCLA 10 … we’re still seething over last year, Malcolm runs wild, our QBs play error-free, our interior line is stout against the rush, and it’s not the week prior to the OU game, where we tend to lose focus.

The bad news is that we will drop from 1st to 9th in Colley’s Bias Brain Free Matrix Rankings as they somehow realize LSU over Oregon, Alabama over Penn State, Boise over Georgia and OU over FSU (or vice versa) all represent better victories that ours over Rice, BYU and UCLA.

Props to srr50 and Joetx for pointing out the similarities to Rick Barnes. Classic. And damn you General, for beating me to the point about the guy having only one arm. But Roma correctly points out he’s a gamer, so I’d probably take him over Gideon at this point. Lord Viscount Nelson plays without pads. His love of King and Country keep him safe.

I share the nerves of many here. I had the feeling all week leading up to the BYU game that the coaches had mentally prepared the team for a real dogfight and just pounded it into the kids’ head that BYU was going to street fight them.

I have the feeling this week that the team is getting a bit too confident. Not sure if it is warranted, just my gut feeling. But I am nervous that this game sets up well for a big let down. Too many freshman making their first big road trip. Should make for a nice test.

Great write up, as usual.

Does UCLA still have that guy with the microphone who tells their fans when to cheer? “OK! Not Yet! Wait ’til they come to the line of scrimmage! Now, make noise!” Ugh.

Sooners will taunt you as they hand you a Beef Mexi-melt in the Taco Bell drive thru.

We’ll also see the NSFW alerts going through the firewall when perusing Tripwire alerts, then after some forensic analysis we’ll glean the origination of that traffic, turn off your http service and close your 8080 port so you no longer have interwebs at work.

We cut a wide swath.

Very enjoyable post, although it does not rival your pregame piece before last year’s UCLA.

The point about Aggie and Sooner delivering jabs all year long rings incredibly true. About a month ago, a dude stocking shelves at a grocery store heckled my girlfriend because she was walking around with a guy (me) wearing a Texas cap. It was friendly and all. He was good people.

Richard Walton, Marty Cherry, Holla!!!

Pretty sure Rout-66 was James Brown’s senior year. Richard Walton was ’98.

Brown didn’t play that game - he was hurt. Walton And Cherry combined for 43 turnovers.

Any appropriately enthusiastic fanbase would have printed “We popped your Cherry” t-shirts.

Very apt description of the fan base. I was at the 2006 MNC game and there were some UCLA fans behind me rooting for the Trojans. They were very polite and nice people but I don’t know where else that would happen.

Route 66 has this semi 9/11 type historical impact to Texas fans. Do you remember where you were when Route 66 happened? Maybe we can all share in the misery.

I was a freshman in college and it was the first football game I attended as a student. I can honestly say without exaggeration it went no where but up from there until Kansas State 2010.

This while my Aggie friends from high school were enjoying much more success. I thought it would be a long four years that day.

And it was definitely James Brown at QB that day.

Anyone ever wonder what would have happend had Mackovic pulled Applewhite’s redshirt?

As well as he played in ‘98, could he have made a difference that season, maybe one or two games. Plus you wouldn’t have had a Simms/Applewhite controversy.

I’ve always thought it was odd that Mackovic saw Walton and Cherry play and never thought to play either Cicero or Applewhite. Did it ever occcur to him that he might get fired?

No, it was not Brown. He was hurt. Walton started, Cherry finished. Look it up.

I love Scipio’s story about barbequing his season tickets after the UCLA game and mailing them to DeLoss Dodds.

Passing Att-Cmp-Int Yds TD Long Sack
-———————————————————————
Richard Walton 27-16-1 145 0 19 4
Marty Cherry 18-9-3 105 0 22 3
Totals… 45-25-4 250 0 22 7

Newy… Richard Walton started the game and was injured and Maerty Cherry came off the bench to take us even farther into the land of suck… James Brown did not play that day…

Some 15 years ago UCLA did us a favor by utterly destroying us in our own backyard and thus setting in motion our return to glory. I think it’s time to return the favor.

Fried of mine that is a UCLA undergrad alum and ticket holder told me that UCLA alums have made a concerted effort to have people sit during the game - placing cards reminding folks of rules for good behavior on seats (no profanity, sit during the game etc). Tells you what you need to know about the passion and mindset.

Brown injured his ankle against Rutgers the previous week, doing one of his “I’m Superman, you can’t sack me” 20-yard self-sacks.

T 3-5 R25 James Brown sacked for loss of 23 yards to the RUTGERS48 (Chris Cebula).
      T 4-28 R48 Mark Schultis punt 35 yards to the RUTGERS13, Reg. Funderburk return 16
                   yards to the RUTGERS29 (Quinton Wallace;Kyle Richardson).
-—————— 4 plays, 5 yards, TOP 02:00 -——————

  R 1-10 R29 RUTGERS drive start at 06:56.
  R 1-10 R29 Mike Jones screen pass complete to Jacki Crooks for loss of 2 yards to the
               RUTGERS27 (Chris Smith).
  R 2-12 R27 Jacki Crooks rush up middle for loss of 1 yard to the RUTGERS26 (Aaron
               Humphrey).
  R 3-13 R26 Mike Jones rush over right end for 4 yards to the RUTGERS30 (Anton Hector).
  R 4-9 R30 Jared Slovan punt 40 yards to the UT30, White, Bryan return 2 yards to the
               UT28 (Reg. Funderburk;Aaron Brady).
-——————- 3 plays, 1 yards, TOP 01:58 -——————

      T 1-10 T28 TEXAS drive start at 04:58.
Walton in at QB

Texas has success against USC football and UCLA basketball, but can’t beat UCLA football and USC basketball. Doesn’t make a lick of sense.

Alas, forecast high for Saturday is 82.

Viewed by UCLA Westsiders as brutal heatwave. Rose Bowl staff preparing for mass overheating, deydration and general Bruinfan whingyness.

The Astros have four guys named Nelson Rosario on their pitching staff right now.

>numerous Texas athletes will be pondering their entry into UCLA endzones.

I am usually pretty adept at picking up on innuendo. But this one left me stumped. Figuratively, I mean.

Wow. I guess the events of that day altered my memory of what actually happened.

Wasn’t UCLA also 0-2 heading into that game?

Before Route 66, UCLA had lost to Tennessee and Washington State, if memory serves, each of which wound up facing the two eventual winners of the split MNC, Nebraska and Michigan, respectively, in their bowl games at year’s end. Wazzou played well, I think, but Tennessee got trucked in the 2nd half.

Two quality losses for the Bruins. UT never saw it coming. I recall reading that their defensive linemen were converted LB’s, saw their record, and assumed they were roadkill waiting to happen.

Have I mentioned I’m not a football guy?

UCLA went on to win about 20 games in a row and would have played for the 1998 national championship except that a hurrican post poned an early non-conference game against Miami, which got replayed in December. Miami was much better by the end of the season and UCLA looked very sluggish in a “do we really have to play this game, we are undefeated type of way”.

Well, if it makes you feel better, you weren’t the only one. Texas was a 10-point favorite that day.

Yes, us die-hard UCLA Football fans are also ticked off at the laid back attitude of our fans. We’ve analyzed it in every way…here are some drawbacks of attracting a full-house every week.
1) No on-campus stadium. The Rose Bowl is about 20 miles from UCLA. Anyone in L.A. knows this is like an hour drive to the stadium.
2) We’re competing against the entire L.A. entertainment lifestyle: beaches, nitelife, and other professional sports teams.
3) Let’s face it…students are more worried about academics. I’m sure if there was an on-campus stadium, this would alleviate the time spent away from studies.

Route-66 got John Mackovic out of here and got Marty Cherry a lucrative modeling carreer — so we had that going for us.

Wow! An actual Bruin fan.

And in the wild! Free. I’ve never seen an endangered animal before.

Yeah, I forgot about James Brown being injured and starting Walton instead.

True Blue - I didn’t realize the campus was so far from the Rose Bowl. Was there an on campus stadium in the past? I know there’s an aura about playing in the Rose Bowl, but is there any thought to building something on campus?

Something tells me Texas will come to play in the Rosebowl. If UCLA comes to play, i dont think its going to matter. Texas wins. Dang, first time this year i felt my game face coming on.

This is a good analysis. UCLA has had some success over the years, but basically has been sleepwalking, which has shown up in both on the field performance as well as fan participation. Kind of like UT during the McWilliams years. We actually needed to be reminded to get to the game before kickoff and act excited to be there.

What really separates UCLA from UT is the huge amount of commuters that encompass the campus. Austin allows even those who can’t live near it to be still near the pulse of the University. LA has just too much going on, so that if you are a few concentric rings removed from the core, you are inherently more isolated.

There are some predictable comments here, though:

However, I can’t think of two student bodies less similar.
Actually, both the feel, and look of the campuses are remarkably similar, particularly with the overall ‘Westernization’ of Austin over the last several years. And the students are really not all that different these days.

and ucla is way too bourgeois for me. uptight people.
Yeah. Because there’s no self-entitlement on the 40 acres.

There has never been a football stadium on campus. There have been proposals which were shot down every time…mainly due to traffic concerns. Not really hard to figure out who’s going to win because we are bordered to the North by Bel-Air (literally across the street), East by Beverly Hills, and West by Brentwood. Ur talking billions of dollars of wealth.

Nunna,

The residents of Bel Air might get a bit miffed at a stadium. Even if you could find the space (none), the traffic would be HORRID. There is a small stadium for soccer, etc, but I don’t think you could even park that at capacity.

UCLA has a “terrific” practice on Tuesday.
 
http://www.bruinsnation.com/2011/9/14/2424384/spaulding-roundup-a-terrific-start-to-the-week
  
See, this is what I’m talking about….

Move cheerleader pics from other thread, recall quote from (think) First and Ten: “We beat ’em 77-0 and then we fucked their cheerleaders!”

Txzen:

When I wrote “However, I can’t think of two student bodies less similar” I was talking about UCLA and A&M. I stand by that assertion..

Txzen - the comment you quoted “However, I can’t think of two student bodies less similar” was comparing UCLA to A&M, not UCLA to UT.

Here is the full quote for you again - “Sleep-walking through a schedule and saving its best shot for Texas sound so much like that school in the greater Bryan area. . . .However, I can’t think of two student bodies less similar”

So take it as a compliment.

Dammit

Scipio, I noticed that a few hours ago. You know you’ve got disinterested fan base when you’ve got a 29 y/o Asian female writing practice reports with: " This is the second “Case” we are facing this season, and I hope we solve this “Case.”

Thanks, Scipio. I just burned half an hour at work watching YouTube clips of Pulp Fiction.

Texas teams have a one-game winning streak going in the Rose Bowl. Keep it on a roll, guys….

Nekkid ScoJo pics out. I don’t know how y’all can talk football at a time like this.

This is brilliantly all sad, but true.

Uninterested, goddamit!

Great article, beautifully written. I agree with every word, except the part about the outcome. I think the Longhorns are going to come to play and get the W. You’re due.

This will make me sad, but the blow will be softened by the fact that y’all are good people. I’m overseas so I can’t be at the game to welcome you, but I hope our folks treat you right when you’re tailgating.

I’d wish you luck, but we’re going to need all the luck we can get to pull out a win.

How the hell did we lose so bad to UCLA in the 90’s with monster studs like Anton Hector on D??

I dated a UCLA girl for several years while living in Calif and we went to a bunch of their games at the Rose Bowl, as well as a few in the Bay Area. The Rose Bowl is a great place to watch football for the most part. It also has some wide and open concourses to handle the foot traffic, which is where most of the UCLA fans hang out. In fact, in my experience, there were more UCLA folks gabbing outside the stadium than were actually watching the games. It’s a giant gabfest, even for their supposed rivals (Trojans/Bears). Lots of hot sorority girls make it quite a pleasant experience. Which all sort of meshes with your story of the focusness of the players.

The best thing inside is the alumni cheerleader. That guy is very entertaining — I learned his routines pretty quick. That was fun to play along with.

Scip, for the record, UCLA football pisses off UCLA football fans too…

The best thing inside is the alumni cheerleader. That guy is very entertaining — I learned his routines pretty quick. That was fun to play along with.

Sounds like UCLA and A&M may have more in common than we thought.

Acid test: Has the alum cheerleader has ever said, "Beat the hell out of SCU ! "

Txzen – the comment you quoted "However, I can’t think of two student bodies less similar" was comparing UCLA to A&M, not UCLA to UT.

This is why I try not to converse with anyone before the coffee has kicked in. My bad.

Through all the realignment talks, it’s clear that even Cal alumni have few problems with UT joining in - they recognize how Austin is a much different place from the rest of the state. Not so for the Wehrmacht Northeast of us.

The caption of the picture in that UCLA practice article made me laugh:

During this drill, only two quarterbacks were injured. Both Kevin Prince and Richard Brehaut saw reps with the first team on Tuesday.

http://www.bruinsnation.com/2011/9/14/2424384/spaulding-roundup-a-terrific-start-to-the-week

See, this is what I’m talking about…

The comments are a scream. First comment? Baseball. And not even actually about baseball.

And then there’s this:

The Bruins should be pumped up for this Game. Nationally Televised
The Bruins need to be the agressors at the point of attack the whole game. Put pressure on the QB and pull out all the tricks from the bag to Texas guessing. We need to put the speedy players on the field, KOR / PR and at WR. Go play your HEARTS out. Go BRUINS.

by ChuchDawg on Sep 14, 2025 1:11 PM PDT reply

I don’t know what the People’s Republic of Korea has to do with it, but this guy needs to get his saliva checked before he floats into low-earth orbit.

During this drill, only two quarterbacks were injured.

Another favored Kung Fu subtitle: “I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat.”

Nice article Bevo Boy….you used all the generalizations and stereotypes one could possibly utilize.

I’m a huge Bruin fan and go to almost every game - when we’re good or bad….made the trip to Austin last year. Your fans are great and it was an outstanding trip. I hope our fans show you folks the same hospitality.

With that said….I agree with some of your observations (even laughed at a couple), but with two new coordinators and some folks starting for the first time, those types of things will happen. Our offense seems to finally have gotten it’s stuff in one bag (even with Brehaut pinch hitting) but our defense has underperformed so far. I expect that to change this week.

As a purist, you should know that will new personnel and new coaches it will take about three games for a team to get into a groove…..welcome to week 3. I look forward to Saturday in what will probably be a good game….but I hope not….I want my Bruins to kick you horned a**es badly….and then I’ll go surfing. Understand that many people here won’t tolerate a loser - there are too many other things to do here in L.A. - look at the Dodgers….used to be that they would put 2 million butts in the seats just by opening the gates….not anymore. Fans are bailing because there isn’t sufficient commitement by the owner. Same thing for Bruin football….when we play well the Rose Bowl rocks. When we don’t - the fans vote by not showing. I get it and many don’t.

Finally - as a “purist”….why weren’t you running Brown out of town after the loss to us last year…..and explain how you purists tolerate a three headed monster at QB. If Brown trotted out a team that was 7-5, or 6-6 for three consecutive seasons - would fans support that product or would some show their displeasure by NOT going to games? Or have the cattle all been branded and your choices were whittlin’ or going to the game? No one cares about the T-shirt fans….it’s the students, alums and diehards who really count.

What boggles my mind is that you Longhorn fans seem to accept a bad product…..you blindly support a bad team while your myopic players feel that just wearing burnt orange is enough. Remember - I witnessed the way your boys quit last year….or was it that we just were that much better? Where was the righteous indignation of you “purists”?

Rodney Bruin -
 
Congrats on being a Bruin die hard. I commend you. You might have missed the tone of the article just a smidgen.
 
I think if you read Longhorn blogs last year, including this one, you’d have been fairly impressed with the level of anger. That’s why Brown was forced to clean house on the entire coaching staff despite a previous run of averaging 10-11 wins a season and two national title game and four BCS appearances in the last 5 years.
 
No Texas coach can string together multiple humiliating seasons - they’ll be shit canned with extreme prejudice.
 
Good luck on Saturday.

Damn…meant to add this…..our crop of cheerleaders this year is one of the best I’ve ever seen - some simply stunning nuggets. Bring the binos if you’re at the game or make sure you’ve got Tivo running.

Rodney Bruin - With regard to…

 “Longhorn fans seem to accept a bad product…..you blindly support a bad team while your myopic players feel that just wearing burnt orange is enough”

Keep in mind that for Texas it was one bad season. Just the year before we played for the national championship and contended or won for several years before that. In contrast, UCLA has been mired in mediocrity since ‘97/’98.

"Longhorn fans seem to accept a bad product…..you blindly support a bad team"

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more inaccurate description of our fan base.

I’ve been following UCLA for the past 10 years. Not because I’m an alum or a hard core fan. I would like to be. I live out here and figured I’d follow a team that’s down because eventually they’ll have to be good, right? I don’t like the USC bandwagoners. I a lot of UCLA recruits play while in high school and I want to follow them and root for them. When I watch a game its so frustrating to see the waste of talent. This post hit the nail on the head. Hilarious and thank you. Looking forward to a good game, but I have a feeling UCLA will lay an egg once again and I’ll go back to thinking to myself, “why do you even waste my time watching this?” Best of luck Longhorns and hopefully this article is sent to the UCLA athletic department.

Rodney Bruin - My Tivo will be running. Thanks for the advice! Will you be the guy in the stands wearing a yellow raincoat while peeping through binoculars?

We’re just kidding you, Rodney. California is great. UCLA fans are great. We think it’s hilarious that if the Bruins played like they do against UT every game, UCLA would be in the BCS almost every year.

This is funny stuff. As a UCLA alum I find myself trying to explain our football situation.

UCLA is more of a commuter school than people realize. Football take this further. Getting on a bus to USC and the LA Coliseum for games sucked. Now it is the Rose bowl. With no on campus stadium football is really kind of the way you describe it.

We just don’t care that much. Once we went to this BCS crap the Rose Bowl is almost meaningless. If UCLA went to the Rose Bowl once in a while it was great.

All we ask is don’t cheat.. Recruit good people and seriously get a real coach

Nunna - it’s not just one bad season - you really think this year is going to be stellar? You’re coming to the realization that having a solid QB can make or break a team - not to mention continuity with the head coach. We haven’t had one since Cade McNown (’98) and that kills us Bruin fans. I graduated in ’88 and had one outstanding QB after another take us to, and win, bowl games. This past decade has been brutal and there are many of us that are very vocal about our displeasure. I may have missed Longhorn fans grumbling of late…..and the half dozen Longhorns I know here in SoCal shug their shoulders when you ask them about the current state of your team.

Nordberg - ok - educate me…..what is Longhorn Nation’s take on the current state of the team? Brown throws the coordinators under the bus (seemingly) and everything is fine again? Your Texas - can’t you recruit the best or is the coaching staff not getting the best out of them?

Don’t get me wrong - I respect your program (especially when you beat SC), but you’re traveling down some of the road we’ve been on (far too long) and I’m not hearing that you folks are furious. We are….and we’ll be looking to have Skippy Neuheisel’s head on platter if he doesn’t turn the ship around - QUICKLY.

Scipio - I really did get it - and even enjoyed the humor….feel the same way sometimes…but two games is a small snapshot and not a great deal of context into what you see today versus last season….and what their effort level or mindset is…..this is the third D coordinator in four years….don’t you think it might take a game or two to get used to the new scheme? Lastly - the new DC’s approach is to cycle players into different situations and even positions to keep them fresh…we’ll see how that works out.

Enjoy and hope both teams come out healthy. Go Bruins!

I guess you could look at it as a compliment. We won’t even get up for *$c anymore, but when the Longhorns are on the schedule, it’s Go Time!

Sincerely, fantastic write up, Scipio. The diehards at Bruins Nation are singing your praises for this one. And believe me, there are a few of us who are even more tormented by this Sybil routine than you are. I guess that word “few” is a big part ot the problem.

I hope everything about Pasadena, except the final score, treats the Longhorn fans well this weekend. Good people.

RodneyBruin- my take is that people were furious last year and are very happy with the changes that were made to the coaching staff. Most people view what happened last year as an anomoly and believe that this year will be a much better year (8 or 9 wins is what most I hear are hoping for/expecting). Beyond this year, the feeling is that the talent level is so high and the new coordinators are so good that we will be back in the MNC hunt next year and the years to come. If this year goes badly, all bets are off. But I think that most view this year as a new year with new coaches and are willing to give this a little time.

Rodney, you’re coming across as part Aggie. You want to see what you’re looking for instead of what’s actually there. Texas fans started staying away in droves late last season and even though we’d been in the hunt for the MNC three of the six previous years, Mack’s tenure was only likely guaranteed for one more bad season.

This year, a “bad” season would be no improvement in the team and no significant improvement in the record. We’re happy with how things are trending with a very young team with top young assistant coaches. If the wheels come off, Longhorns are not historically patient.

RomaVicta - now that’s just plain mean - lol. Certainly don’t want to come off that way….I served as a junior officer in the Army with an Aggie and that boy was annoying. So point taken.

Beyond the humor of the post I see many similarities in our programs right now - taking recent and past history out of it. Maybe my point should be - we’re pissed and tired of this crap….but I do see the kids putting out effort and starting to see some improvement….we need to move to the next level - now.

From my perspective, I wasn’t hearing that you folks were up in arms…if I missed that, I stand corrected. I was getting sense that you folks were too nice…..like Canadian nice….about the whole situation.

Love to have a beer with any of you that make the trip and will pull for you the rest of the season after Saturday…..now it’s time to grab the surfboard.

HILARIOUS. Great writing.

-UCLA Fan

Rodney, Rodney, Rodney -the only thing the Horns may be mired in this year is youth, not mediocrity. And next year should be at worst a 9 win season.

It took Mack Brown 14 years to throw Greg Davis under the bus, and I’m not sure someone else didn’t push him while Mack wasn’t looking. You should read some of Scipio and others archived posts to get a feel for the Longhorn Nation on the coaches and player development.

After this game, win or lose, you should check back in and let us know how you think our recruiting is going.

Enjoy the game!

Someone should link Rodney to the BYU Open Game Thread. Then again, it might scare him to death. He most certainly would withdraw the beer offer—-who would blame him?

If the psychos and sycophants at Bruins Nation are singing your praises, offer up a few Hail Marys in penitence, because you have surely done something wrong.

Nice read. Surely we have enough D to keep us in this game long enough for McCoyAsh and MalcomShipley to out-score UCLA.

That is classic stuff.

All very funny and True.

Go Bruins, feast on Bevo.

Very well written, very funny, and unfortunately very true.

The university is way more interested in winning a title in women’s golf that it is in producing a great football team. Its pretty sad.

I was at the game last year in Austin and had a great time. Longhorns are good people.

And I don’t know why your are looking for UCLA talent. Austin had plenty….

As a USC graduate, I can say that our rivalry with UCLA may be the least fierce crosstown rivalry in all of collegiate athletics.

I guess both parties are just more interested in the post-game action…

Rodney - “I served as a junior officer in the Army with an Aggie and that boy was annoying”

And that was one who actually joined the Army. Just imagine thousands of others who play pretend Army on weekends. Insufferable. There’s plenty of personal reasons why you don’t hear Texas fans fret much about the whole SEC deal.

But yeah, it’s kind of a false stereotype that Texas fans are airy bandwagon types. Our stadium isn’t as loud, sure. But that’s more a reflection of old stoic moneyed alums getting seating priorities in the stadium than anything else. Texas fans in general care much, much more about football than any other sport and will come at any coach who brings a single losing season with daggers drawn. See Mackovic, John. A decade of ten win seasons bought Mack Brown exactly one year of reprieve but even then he had to fire two thirds of the staff (including his OC/best friend) in order to stick around. Fail to reach a bowl this year and I guarantee you he’s retired by February.

And the happy talk about the program is entirely relative. We’re just hoping that the kids will learn the new systems by the end of the season and play in a bowl not named after fast food.

To give Rondney a little due: there was somewhat less screaming last year then there might have been otherwise as many passionate fans were either silent in relief or passed out from the pain of the arterial bleed being cauterized by a branding iron.

By the way, Longhorns fans definitely should check our BruinsNation.com. Good people, good blog.
 
I like Scipio, he just gets me!

Silverlake - As far as ahem, local talent…we’ve got plenty to spare, but the only ones who wear cute flared short skirts are tiny flippy gymnasts. The flat-out hotties on the field unfortunately wear ankle-length pants (with or without chaps) and are covered in so much fringe you’d think their costume managers were the Village People. The best view from the stands is frankly into the stands.

Texas fans are accepting of mediocrity?

Dude.

We gathered a collection and flew a fucking BANNER behind a plane at one of the games demanding our OC be fired.

Please.

I still can’t believe I don’t have to pay to read your material.

Thanks for the great post. Coach Neuheisel and his assistants will make sure all 85 of our players, including the 55 returning starters, see it. That might wake them up.

RodneyBruin-

  Last year Texas had a rough one indeed. However, in 2009 Texas played for the National Championship. In 2008 we were a mere BCS vote from playing for it, instead we won our 3rd straight BCS game(and 5th straight bowl game). We hadn’t had a losing season since 1997, winning at least 9 games a year since that mark. Mediocrity is not something we take lightly on the 40acres. So even after all the winning seasons, Mack Brown knew that changes had to made immediately following one hiccup from the norm. Thus the wholesale changes in our coaching staff.

  Last year was a combination of a couple things in my eyes. First, Gilbert(our QB) was god awful, and we had an offense that was predicated on good QB play. Something we had been spoiled with for the better part of a decade. Without it, it unmasked our deficiencies at the Offensive Coordinator spot. Also, we lost all but one defensive tackle, forcing us to have to move one of our best DE’s into the interior. This weakened our usually stout defensive front considerably, and we were atrocious against the run. When you can’t score, teams can run on you all game long. Which only compounded the problem. The answer? Hire a new OC, who is much more creative in both the running game, and play calling to alleviate the pressures on QB play. Bring in all new positional coaches for a fresh new attitude.

 All in all, we are back on the upswing, despite your assertions that we are spiraling downward. A new influx of talent at the skill positions. Fresh ideas from our young coordinators, and the disdain of coming off a losing season has people around here optimistic for the future. That is why you see what appears to be acceptance from the Longhorn faithful. We are a football savy bunch, who understand the Xs and Os, and could see the deficiencies we had. So when we saw those issues corrected, we were willing to wait and see how the new hires handled things before calling for heads.

  Hope this brought a little insight to what’s going on around here.

   P

This is a great thread. Im a Bruin fan first, and a longhorn fan second. Just wanted to welcome you Long horn fans to Cali, and may the best time win!!!

From a Bruin Alum, come over to the SOUTHEAST corner of the Rose Bowl parking lot (Parking Lot H) where the famous UCLA Alumni Band is playing and meet this year’s UCLA DANCE team up close and personal. Stop by the world-famous Kappa Sigma fraternity booth (same location), meet Eric + Scottie and quaff a Reposado Tequila with the friendly Bruins! We love Texans - stop by and lets discuss all things football, and your take on OK/TEX joining out PAC-12 Conference? Is it going to happen - soon? Thoughts?

http://spirit.ucla.edu/meet/2011/dance.aspx

Longhorns - welcome to southern California! Great to be a Bruin! Welcome!

Nice take, and painfully true!

FWIW, we basically love you guys, as we all have fond memories of the last two times UT visited the Rose Bowl! You were fun and gracious in ’98, and then you punked the filthy trogans… making the Bush brat bitch and cry! Welcome back… and I sincerely hope you all enjoy your stay (regardless of the score).

As a former player and coach, and current frustrated fanatic who still lives, breathes and dreams the game, I simply hope these boys give you their best.

The following link sums things up over here.

http://www.bruinsnation.com/2011/9/12/2421163/ucla-football-athletics-Dan-Guerrero

GO BRUINS!
GO CELTS!

BrewNCelt

The Bruins on this thread make going to the PAC a little more appetizing. I lived in LA in the 90s and went to the ‘98 game. Didn’t have such a great experience with the fans in the west endzone seats, but nothing to sour me on UCLA as a whole. I was rooting for them that year after our game. Local LA sports radio always gave a little attention to the Longhorns, too. They were hoping to see us come back.

Wish I could go this year and meet some of you fine folks.

txzen- never said UT was free of those types.

But its WAY more prevalent there.

CA is great to visit. living with these people will drive you nuts though.
dont get me wrong theres good people out here and i love a lot. but its toooo much.

And i hate the “we have too much other stuff” argument. The beach never moves. There will always be clubs and bars. But there are only 6 or so home football games a year. And each one creates an event that will never be replicated.

and someone track down alan- hes not paying for this site.

Great article, wit, enthusiasm, and insight into our Bruin team. Thanks from a Bruin fan. I’ll never forget the Longhorns stopping Pete Carroll and the Trojans 4th and 2, when he ran Lendale White at the 50 and Vince ran it back and broke their little hearts. Great Rose Bowl moment for you guys.

Hopefully both teams give us a great game this Saturday and may the best team win. Our defense has something to prove and should be ashamed with all the talent and size if they don’t give 100%, as well as playing on hallowed ground in the Rose Bowl; and being a Bruin football team with some great history. The fans need to pick it up as well. We’re used to mediocre effort and execution in the last 10 years, so players and fans need a wake up call.

Respect and good luck to your team and coaches.

I think this is absolutely hilarious. Any UCLA fan in the last 10 years completely adheres to this article. Great write. It’s comical because it is so true.

As a UCLA alum and fan, just wanted to say I loved the article. Great writing. Fun to read, yet a really good critique of the UCLA football program.

I have spent many weekends in Austin on work projects, often during football season. I love to walk around before the game and catch the excitement and fun during the tailgate time. That being so stated, I still like our blue and gold motif.

The problem of sports in Southern California is that there is no real deep fan spirit. People get excited when any team is doing very well, but if not, just go on and find something else to do to occupy our time. I hope it’s a great game this weekend.

Brilliant piece of writing .. As one of the few that lives and dies Ucla sports, I can not agree more w your characterization of our team and culture. Hope you’re right, that we indeed play w some fire and heart. Hope it’s a great game and the great Longhorn fan base enjoys their stay in So Cal.

I am a huge UCLA fan and never has anything better been written about UCLA football.

I wish you were our athletic director.

Kudos sir.

As a Bruin alum, nothing wrong with this article. Best outsider take I’ve seen on UCLA Bruins football. Cheers.

Greetings Texas Longhorn Fans. Great article, made me laugh. Yes, our program has seen better days, but I hope things turn around. I think this game with Texas will set the tone for our season. If our boys come out flat and lay an egg, then we’ll be lucky to win 4 games this year. If our boys win against Texas, then it may give them a boost for the rest of the season. We shall see.

For those of you coming to Pasadena, hope you enjoy the game. Definitely head over to Lot H for all the pre-game entertainment. There are also lots of bars and restaurants in Old Town Pasadena (and a free shuttle to the Rose Bowl) if you park in the Parsons parking lot in Old Town.

Here is a link to some of UCLA’s best assets on the sideline:
http://beatsc.com/?p=10690

Woah! Quit the stero typing my friend you act like you know everybody in so cal I happen to grow up in a family who have loved thR bruins and I remember all those games you mention and another thing is you act like beating Texas is a once in a lifetime thing who cares if we don’t care about beating you like Texas am and Oklahoma. UCLA has their own rivals and no offense but I would rather beat stanford, cal, Oregon,Arizona,Washington and most importantly u$c. So I hope you read this and understand their are huge UCLA fans out there like myself and believe me I’m a marine in Okinawa waking up at 3 am every Sunday just to listen to the games on radio and still looking for a website to watch these games. Not trying to disrespect Texas cause I’m sure they have die hard fans to but even tho I’m surrounded by alot of UT fans myself most of whom don’t know what’s going on with their team and even myself a UCLA fan constantly correcting them cause I know more about their so called team so please to the person writing this article comment me back.
Go Bruins

As a lifelong fan/victim of UCLA football since the late Fifties, I must agree with Mr. Bean’s hilarious, but sadly true post. But we deserve it since we really haven’t played football since we lost to Miami in 1998, except against UT. Damn if I know why. I suspect COACHING.

So this is a win-win year for us since we win or get a new coach at the end of the year. Looks like the latter so far.

I must say I traveled to Austin for last year’s game and thank all of the wonderful and classy Texas fans who treated myself and my family to a great time days before, during and after the game. You and the Tennessee fans are the mist fervent yet hospitable folks and fans I have had the pleasure to meet.

We have a chance this year because our QBs are finally being allowed to air it out a bit, but we are still way too conservative to scare anybody despite our talented players. Really, they are. Our third string QB, a freshman, may just propel the program to the next level when he gets his chance, but you never know.

I have no idea which UCLA team shows up. If we play like we should have the whole game against Houston, we will be very tough to beat, if we play like we did against San Jose State (I sat there puking the whole game), we will get blown off the field. Sad.

Of course, I bleed Blue and Gold, so I hope for the former, but surely, the best team will win.

BTW, I would love for Texas to join the PAC 16 if only to back to Austin at least every other year. What a great town and friendly people.

Unfortunately, I cannot go to the game myself due to a friend’s wedding, darn, so I can’t be there to greet you at the Rose Bowl. Get out there early to Old Town for breakfast, then take a shuttle to the tailgating and see the Bruin band. It is beautiful, if not on campus. Have a great time win or lose.

GO BRUINS!

Watch out Scip…at this rate, you may be asked to coach the Bruins next year.

You Bruins fans are goodnpeople. Would love to be conference mates in the near future.

Reading this thread gives me a deep appreciation for Bruins fans. I hope you guys posting here are truly representative of the overall diehard fanbase. God, I hope we go to the Pac.

Josh, I truly appreciate your service. I have a close tie to the Marine’s as my dad was a Marine in Vietnam and lost some really good buddies in that war. Having said that, I think you misunderstood the intent of the article. It was intended to amuse, not to inflame. I know you do serious work, but enjoy a little comic relief once in a while, good man.

This. I’m a Bruin and you pretty much nailed it.

Now I can’t stop thinking about a clown riding a vespa through a car wash…. I really want to see that happen. Can you and Sailor please do a little action filming?

I’ll second that clown riding the Vespa thing! Hell, I’ll do it myself (been called a clown countless times)!
GO BRUINS!
GO CELTS!

Dagga & P - Thanks for the insight….sounds like you guys are confident about the future. Now bring those sooners with you and join the 12 Pac….you know the SEC fears this scenario.

Roma - still laughing that you called me out for sounding like an Aggie….my first thought was Scip’s post sounded like a Trojan. Remember the line in “Animal House”….“he can’t haze our pledges, only WE can haze our pledges”. Same thing.

For you folks the Horns are religion….same for us. I’ve told women I’m with that my world stops on those 12 (hopefully 13) Saturdays. I had an idiot fraternity brother get married the day of the USC/UCLA game….told him to move the date or I wouldn’t go.

Sidebar discussion - I’ll bet Trojan fan is FAR more obnoxious than Aggie fan.

I am a UCLA bruin, and this is FANTASTIC! I have been frustrated by UCLA football for 6 seasons now… hit the nail on the head!

Fantastic piece of writing. I am in awe. As a Bruin all I can say is the truth hurts! At least the humor took a little of the sting out of it. Also, I live and die (mostly die lately) for Bruin football and my best friend went to UT for like 10 years and probably doesn’t know who Mack Brown or Vince Young even are!

Also, +1 to the comment that we’d love to have UT in our conference. Or you could say Pac-12 + OK is joining the UT conference! Who cares, it would be awesome!

Very good stuff. So true. And it’s what makes life so exasperating for the few UCLA fans who actually care.

Thanks for the laughs, and enjoy the trip out.

Hey Texas,
If the weather holds up like it has i’ll be on the beach and catch the highlights on Sports Center.
For those of you traveling to town, make sure to come over to the westside (Santa Monica etc.)….it will make you think twice about where you live!

Awesome stuff! Some of the best material I’ve read. Unfortunately for us Bruin fans, you are spot on. Thanks for the laughs.

This article boils down to being one gigantic cop-out. Making excuses is one thing. Doing it before the kickoff is another. The first excuse: “Well, UCLA is actually really talented.” That is not accurate. UCLA has talent at a few select positions, but virtually no depth as a football team. The second excuse: “We’re Texas, we always have a target on our back, teams like UCLA play their hardest against us.” Now you sound like a Lakers fan. This article reveals a troubling Longhorn mindset…a little arrogant, a once almighty superpower struggling to cope with (dare I say) mediocrity, arguing that the decent thing for its opponents to do would be to “not try.” Austinites (or Austinians or whatever) should not stoop so low. And to non sequitor-ially end this comment…Austin and LA are very similar (strong music scenes and http://elections.nytimes.com/2008/results/states/texas.html).

Great article. I moved from Austin to LA 4 years ago, and its great here but you definitely hit the nail on the head. In regards to LA/socal and UCLA.

Unfortunately there will always be the “I am Tim Tebow”s of the world (guy who commented before me) — I think the writer is making what you may call a “joke” here. Disproving his reasoning on a technical level is very whiny bitch/Aggie of you. Austin and LA are NOTHING alike, and we DO have a target on our back. Doesn’t mean people “get up” for us or any of that, but we are the biggest and the best. Deal with it.

Great, humorous article, and unfortunately for a Bruin fan, so much of it is accurate. UCLA is the most underperforming program in the country. If I didn’t live in Malibu, have a beautiful blond wife I met at UCLA, and have UCLA Basketball and the Lakers, it would probably bother me. Also, I really love Texas, since Texas kicked USC in the ass for the National Championship. Hook’em horns (except for Saturday).

For whatever reason, the UCLA game has been the crucial turning point for much of what has happened to the Longhorns in the past 15 years or so.

Route 66 pretty much nailed the coffin on Johnny Mac era.

The following year the UCLA game ushered us into the Major Applewhite era, and put Walton on the bench for good.

 Last year’s debacle signaled another drastic change across the board was coming, from the top down, arguably the game that lost GDGD his job, and GG his confidence.

I am interested to see what seismic shift (no pun intended) occurs after this matchup.

Is this the begining of the Colt McCoy era (the Jaxon Shiply era clearly began game 1.)?

Is this the beginning of the Malcolm Brown era (look for him to start, or at least get in the FIRST series.)?

Is this the game where we finally get it all together on defense? Look for UCLA to try to break outside containment on a lot of pistol formation tosses. How will Manny adjust to an offensive scheme that is relatively new (not sure he’s called a game against a pistol offense before)?

Can Applewhite exorcise the demons from his loss in the Rose Bowl vs UCLA from 98?

So many questions… So much time to eat away at me from the inside.

My gut says we stick with Case as the primary QB, with Malcolm Brown getting a majority of the (non wildcat/zone read) carries. Fozzy as 3rd down specialist. DJ Monroe getting a few touches to really gas the defense. We of course have the DAsh package at least once a quarter (and maybe to start the third quarter). I think a surprising receiver steps it up this game to secure the spot alongside Shipley/Davis. Seems like we need a big physical possession receiver out there, but Goodwin is just to talented to take off the field sometimes.

One more thing, I think we see a return for a TD. Quandre the Giant with an INT. Jackie Bag o’ Donuts with a punt return, or Mr. Goodwin on a Kickoff return (hopefully to start a half).

I just hope that the staff keeps an eye on those young players. I do not want a repeat of what happened when the basketball team went to LA last season… I guess that made two more things.

Tim Tebow,

The first part of your post didn’t set a premise from which your last comment failed to follow. They were two separate points. I don’t think you’ve fully grasped what constitues a non sequitur. If there was one in your comment, it was setting the premise that you were making a non sequitur and not failing to follow the premise with a non sequitur.

Not that any of us needed you to reveal your weak grasp on logic to know that prettty much all your post was bullshit. Thanks for playing.

^^ should have read “… and failing to follow…”

Wow, truly great work summing up my Bruins. You did forget to mention that we have a handful of potential game changing punt returners riding the pine behind a tall, slow possession receiver. (Taylor “Fair Catch” Embree)

The game non-withstanding, my wife and I had a great experience last year in Austin. I hope that those of you who make the trip enjoy yourselves.

Wow, I think I just found my favorite PAC team. UCLA are good people. Hope it’s a good game. Oh, and thanks for Troy Aikman

“Ohhhhhh, there’s nothing like some hot hotel maid humor!!”

signed, Dominique Strauss-Kahn

EXCELLENT write-up! You are too tough on southern CA, though. I lived in SF for 6 years before moving to LA because I discovered lichen growing on my feet.

Well written, Scipio. As both a Red Raider (undergrad) and Bruin (grad school), I commend you as a fair Longhorn fan. You’re dead on about many things - UCLA as everyone’s “dream school,” the way UCLA has played football lately, etc. I appreciate your nod to UCLA as a top-tier university and athletic program.

One caveat, though. There are actually serious expectations here. And not just in basketball, volleyball, and water polo. Bruin Nation expects ALL of their teams to compete for a conference, if not national, championship every year. The football debacle over the last few years has seriously rubbed a lot of fans the wrong way. Sure, there are some pockets of apathy here and there, because where else is it perpetually 75 degrees with beaches and snow-capped peaks both less than an hour away? Bottom line, though - people expect more of our football program.

Great article - it makes the readers’ comments here much more tolerable than the posts on Double T Nation.

As a bruin, I agree with your article, our team could be good this year if they tried. But we didn’t try again today!

—Scipio
Hope you know how much this article blew up. Was pasted on FB pages & Twitter & went viral.

I am a Texas ex who has lived in Pasadena for 15 years. I went to the game and tailgated in Lot H and numerous 20-something fans read the article and all of the them thought it hilarious & painfully accurate. Any UCLA fan who posted on this thread & didn’t — 1) laugh their ass off & 2) kinda squint and grimace in painful agreement — is myopic and dishonest.

You have always been a talented writer. This article had me laughing outloud and I shared it with anyone who would pay attention.

Keep up the outstanding work. Certainly was nice to watch our boys put it on the bruins!

I still think you should charge for BC content. I’d pay.

You need to participate in a contest for probably the greatest blogs on the web. I’ll suggest this website!

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