Do you have Conference Realignment Fatigue? Here's your cure.

Yes. Yes I do. But I can’t seem to pull myself away from it. I’m fighting for our good name on comment threads all over the internets.

Somebody please stop me. Deloss, it’s time for you to purchase an op/ed on NYT, Houston Chronicle, DMN, and every other respectable (NYT?) newspaper in the land and set the record straight. Use those coffers.

There’s got to be some “cigar” or “asset” or smurf or troll somewhere who has something to say about the last few days’ debacle. Come on people! Why so few posts during all of this? Just the thought of having to scan crimsonandcreammachine.com again makes my colon itch up around my duodenum.

No Monday in the Humidor this week?

If we had a real playoff for the RNC instead of being dependent on being selected as a Beauty Contest Finalist, would we give a flying fuck about what conference we were “in”?

“No Monday in the Humidor this week?”

Not much of anything on one of the biggest NCAA news weeks in modern history. BC is AWOL.

Care to fill us in on what we missed?

Fatigue? Are you kidding? I can’t remember when I’ve had more fun than the last few weeks.

Vasherized -
 
While UT is in the middle of trying to secure a replacement for A&M and possibly keep the Big 12 alive, negotiate with the Pac 12, ACC, and Big 10, while also exploring possible collaborations with Notre Dame while running the numbers on football independence and how all of those things interact with our LHN carriage rates and future profitability maximization, we’re supposed to write the definitive post explaining exactly how it will all end because we should know the motivations, pressures, and desired long term outcomes of every conference, meddling school president like Boren, state legislative branch, Baylor legal pressures, Bellmont, and network stakeholders.
 
Because, you know, this isn’t about a massive dynamic negotiating process with a thousand different outcomes.
 
There’s one secret answer. And it’s being kept hidden. And we’re refusing to report it.
 
DON’T YOU SEE?

Kenny Vaccaro hit on Shelby Shipley via twitter and there was ZERO coverage here. Fuck you guys.

Shelby Shipley is now the only thing to have been hit by Vaccaro and survive.

In honor of the last picture, A&M after several years in the SEC: “It’s a heartache”

While UT is in the middle of trying to secure a replacement for A&M and possibly keep the Big 12 alive, negotiate with the Pac 12, ACC, and Big 10, while also exploring possible collaborations with Notre Dame while running the numbers on football independence and how all of those things interact with our LHN carriage rates and future profitability maximization, we’re supposed to write the definitive post explaining exactly how it will all end because we should know the motivations, pressures, and desired long term outcomes of every conference, meddling school president like Boren, state legislative branch, Baylor legal pressures, Bellmont, and network stakeholders.

Scipio - Glad you understand our expectations.

Scipio’s post makes me laugh, and (not to be creepo johnson or anything), I’ll echo nordberg’s request for some additional, uhm, coverage of Shelby Shipley.

Here’s what I really want to know, which of course is more appropriate for the post-mortem thread, but I’m here:

Does Texas need an actual ST coordinator? I respect the hell out of both Coach Applewhite and Coach Akina, but they both appear to have their hands full, especially this season. Did Texas have a dedicated ST coordinator at some point and just decide to fold it in?

Am I the only one at this party wearing a smoking jacket?

Kenny Vaccaro hit on Shelby Shipley via twitter and there was ZERO coverage here. Fuck you guys.

Looks like it you just covered it. Thanks nordbergeron.

We rely on our readers to fill in said gaps in coverage that Scipio alluded to above and nordberg just provided. Do THAT more, loyal readers. Instead of asking for more coverage, write it for us.

There are more pressing questions than this media facade that is conference realignment.

We’re still in the same shitty conference. A&M is still leaving.

For example:

Does nordbergeron’s posting frequency always rise and fall with the number of carries Joe Bergeron received the prior week? Or is it predictive in determining how many carries he will get the next week?

Would the notion of conference realignment even exist if Chip Brown were never born?

How many seconds would you last with January Jones?

Can somebody tell me how one might travel to Ames, Iowa, should he even want to? And will the Cy Hawk trophy be on display during the game? (That sort of makes or breaks the road trip for me.)

How long until Texas and Notre Dame are officially in bed together, even if it’s Catholic-approved casual groping and/or dry humping?

Not a gripe here, but I did miss the weekly report from Cigar, Asset and The Jesus, but only as it relates to football content. I’m chalking it up to the bot thingy and assuming our intrepid trio will hit the airwaves again next week—-in fact I’m openly begging for it—-which is easily distinguishable from demanding. If not, I call your attention to this week’s talks with the Pac wherein OU begged and Texas demanded.

Thanks in advance. :>)

ashley brewer and cayleb jones were mad on twitter because some dude said that harsin is looking a qb from henderson.

REAL MAD.

EXACTLY, mattdubya. Keep it coming.

I love when Scipio gets angry… Er… Never mind, just realized I can’t remember him UN-angry.

I’m tired of the anti-UT morons leaving comments on sundry sports websites devoid of facts & logic.

mattdubya — Per the Statesman’s Longhorns football notebook today…
The Longhorns have requested tape of LaBradford “Del” Barnes, a dual-threat prospect from Henderson who has been flying under the recruiting radar because he didn’t attend any of the major summer camps, according to Hookem.com, the American-Statesman’s Internet partner.

Assuming the Statesman is correct, I wonder if the coaches are looking for another QB primarily as an insurance policy on Brewer, or are giving a subtle hint to Gilbert that the QB stable will be quite full in 2012 and therefore he should look for starting opportunities elsewhere.

poofy: my guess is a bit of both. but want i really want to know is what some backstroke champ and a high school kid think of it all.

Zzzizzzy shows up occassionaly and says stupid shit. He is the short winded version of steven.

Speaking of steven… Blaine Irby says hello.

Wow. You guys are touchy. There is back channel info reported on other sites that I disdain. This site has been unusually silent. Either y’all aren’t getting info or you are choosing to sit on it until you have a “definitive post explaining exactly how it will all end.” If it is the later, I suggest that it would be nice for you give us the info that does come in and let us draw our own conclusions whilst we await your final string theory on universal gravitation. For the most part, this is a pretty savvy group of folks who don’t need to be spoon-fed.

“Zzzizzzy shows up occassionaly and says stupid shit.” — examples please.

by the way here’s labradford’s (that’s also the name of a shitty mid-90’s postrock band) highlights:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XapSeJuDpcA

The condensed alignment story, a la lsufreek, would involve using the clip from Game of Thrones where the dwarf Lannister (as Aggie) incites the battle charge out of camp, immediately gets hit by a mallet between the eyes, and is stampeded into the mud by the unruly footmen he’s leading by manipulation (happen to be the same ones who spared him in the first place).

ashley brewer and cayleb jones were mad on twitter because some dude said that harsin is looking a qb from henderson.

Henderson….we play them in a few weeks so I’ll get to check him out.

Scip, Vash, nobis, Huck, LS, JS, and all of the other fantastic contributors to the best sports blog on the hallowed interwebs,

I am grateful for any and all content you put out, and I realize you do it without charging a penny because you find joy in it. I will remain a loyal reader whether there are ten posts a day or 1 post every two weeks. I know I am entitled to nothing from you and appreciative of everything. I know there are many, many other readers who share my sentiments. Just wanted to say that before the more entitled among us drive you to the point of saying fuck it all.

burntorangejuice -

AMEN. Agree 100%.

This thing (Big 12) will continue until UT has given Notre Dame an appropriate lap dance and they’ve turned us down. ESPN seems to be helping out now by finishing off the Big East. I think the gameplan is crystal clear at this point in time. Run the potential replacement schools we have out of options and force their hand to the new Big 12. BYU, Louisville, WV, etc. Build up the value of 3rd tier rights for UT and, hopefully OU, then show Notre Dame that a free market system of those rights is a better product offering than the Big 10 Network. I don’t think the Catholics are interested in subsidizing Northwestern, Illinois, Purdue, Minnesota, Indiana and Iowa any more than they already are.

East - Mizzou, KU, KSU, ISU, WV & Louisville
West - UT, OU, TT, OSU, Baylor & BYU

Hope the LHN reaches the projected potential to a degree that ND will jump on board and then up to 14 or 16. Any other plan probably won’t work very well. Keep an eye on Mizzou. Contrary to popular belief that OU holds the cards, I think Mizzou is the real threat here, who can kill the deal. The problem with Mizzou is that their program has improved in status through access to Texas recruiting talent. A move to the Big 10 or SEC will most certainly be at the expense of their football program. Hopefully, they realize that and stick around. Put them in the East division and they’ll be thrilled winning conference titles. Since UT runs the show, I am holding you responsible for attracting talent and formatting by laws competitive to the market place. That means you have to make nice with OU and Mizzou. I don’t see anyone else giving you problems. Good luck shaking your tits at ND. We certainly need them.

Oh damn, Nickel Rover, you too.

boj just won a tote bag signed by Dan Beebe.

And dedfischer, of course. Allright, I think you guys get the point.

Vash,

All I wanted was for you guys to feel appreciated. No reward was sought or desired. But if you’re gonna insist, can I get a tote bag signed by Jennifer Aniston rather than Beebs? Thanks

Does anyone believe there is a limit to how many power house programs are desirable in any given super conference? A playoff system based on 4 SCs with 16 teams each would seem to bottleneck the path to the NC game and leave out all independents? Don’t we truly need a strong Big12 to head this off?

Scip- don’t bitch- that’s the position you guys have created for yourself as the sharpest commentators in longhorndom on the net.

I think you are going a little over board (I realize there was sarcasm involved) as to what the above poster was saying. I don’t think he’s expecting you to nail everything, just surprised that Jones Top 10 was the only article up for 3 days after the UCLA game

I saw it as a compliment (albeit perhaps of the back handed variety). I’m not complaining, b/c this site has brought me countless hours of amusement, just reading things people smarter about football, or more connected to the program than I, have written. It’s the best site on the internet imo, and what Grantland should be if Bill Simmons didn’t decide to turn into a self promoting douche and instead acted like a real talent scout and a writer himself. Yall do all this for us and the content is thoughtful and free- tip of the hat. But, the content on everything seems kind of lacking the past 10 days or so. Like I said- I don’t pay anything other than my thanks to the fine writers here, so I really don’t want to come off like a malcontent. I’m just saying perhaps that’s where that guys sentiment was coming from.

“We’re still in the same shitty conference. A&M is still leaving.” That feels like an oxymoron but two conflicting sentences don’t make a single figure of speech so we may have “oxymoronsentencing?”.

Flash, if you do the math, nothing happens with 16-team SC or playoff system until UT and ND says it does. They know this. So, as long as they hold out, the SC theory isn’t possible. Who came up with that anyway and claims it’s written in stone as the end game? 64 seems short to me.

Or maybe the dude is just a dipshit that should be dismissed with EABOD and DIAF, shaggy bevo style.

Jerryw,

The tragedy is that A&M would be a terrific conference mate from a purely athletic standpoint if only they weren’t so damn douchey, bizarre, and annoying.

Ded-

Agreed completely- there is 68 in BCS conferences right now, and Indy’s like ND, BYU and non-bcs teams like Boise, TCU (going to BCS) and some others I’m probably forgetting that aren’t terrible. So you are starting with more have’s than 64, and it’s hard to take someone who has a seat at the table right now away from them.

The reasonable Ags around here excepted, of course

Wulaw,

20 new articles on BC in the last 7 days, and a server meltdown thrown in for good measure. Saying BC was AWOL is just sillizzy.

We’re just busy counting the money that echeese insists we make on ad revenue.

And, I agree with your position that this needs to be headed off. UT somehow needs to change their image of cul-de-sac prick in the process, if we’re going to have a chance at salvaging this and recruiting attractive members. It doesn’t do the student-athletes any favors chasing dollars and running them across the country on shitty travel schedules. I don’t necessarily blame the Aggies for leaving, but I kind of do. They may have been more of a problem for the reasons you mentioned that we realized. If you look at their voting history, it was pretty simple: “If Texas thinks it’s a good idea, then we’re against it.” Equal revenue sharing, partnering on a network, going to the PAC 10, etc. That’s just as shitty member to have as a bully. A&M deserves whatever happens to them next. Whether it be getting their teeth kicked in by the SEC (most likely) or becoming a national powerhouse for having the balls to jump on their options. There are a lot more black people living in the Southeast, so merely splitting recruits at best with UT won’t be enough to compete with Bama, LSU, Auburn, Florida and Georgia. OU was panicking and they have the most to gain from keeping the Big 12 together.

Or should I say, the most to lose with its disintegration.

What Wulaw Horn said…

I’m not as brilliant a writer as the staff here, so my appreciation got lost in my need for the juice.

I really enjoy the site and would be lost without it. I understand that you guys have day jobs, but I would sure love some droppings when you get them. Although your major pieces pulling all of the tidbits together are beyond awesome, please feel free to drop some raw data here and there when you get it.

Again, thanks for what you do here.

AV — still anxiously awaiting those examples.

"Zzzizzzy shows up occassionaly and says stupid shit." — examples please.

See above.

Hair of the dog… Mizzou press conference at 6:45.

Wulaw, if the super conference theory manifests itself, it will very likley be the end of the BCS since the predicted (theoretical) end game there is a 16(?) team playoff. If that happens, no one has a “seat at the table”, theoretically of course.

nordberg, what time zone?

central

The BCS probably has a decade worth of lobbying dollars to keep a playoff from happening at a minimum. Nebraska didn’t leave because they were tired of UT’s shit. Nebraska left because they realized they couldn’t win here without unlimited Prop 48s and partial qualifiers from Compton. They chose an easier path competing against Midwest programs with shitty recruiting bases. Colorado is a similar story except they don’t know exactly why they weren’t winning any more. The Aggies left out of pride. If everyone else sticks around and Dodds drops the “hey, I’m a big cocksucker” routine, this should work in theory, if everyone stays together. Dear Lord, we’re the #1 ranked football conference in the land right now. Everyone says this is a crap conference, but no one from the PAC 12, Big Ten or ACC could roll through here with less the 2 or 3 losses outside of maybe Oregon. The Aggies are certainly a loss, but they have needed to be a sacrifice to move forward.

Hair of the dog… Mizzou press conference at 6:45.

If Mizzou is all in on the Big12 with us this seems rather odd. Call a press conference to announce you’re not doing anything?

Colorado is a similar story except they don’t know exactly why they weren’t winning any more.

My opinion….a couple of bad coaching hires, combined with the fact that their heyday was during the decline of the SWC. They were one of the OOS schools we discussed on another thread that were raiding top Texas talent on a regular basis while the dying SWC floundered. It’s ultimate death and formation of the Big12 resulted recruits largely staying in state again. Colorado’s Texas pipeline shut down.

They may want to announce that no one turned them down this time or address the rumors from early this week that they were applying to the SEC.

A rumor buzzing around the Brady Deaton may announce his resignation as chair of the Big 12 board of directors. If so, Mizzou is most likely bolting to the SEC and everyone is back to scrambling.

Nunna, Mack played a pretty big role in shutting it down when he went to Colorado and signed Bo Scaife and two or three other highly rated players right off the bat. Message sent, IMO.

Anyone know of a stream for the press conference or a channel it’ll be on?

Nunna, it’s because UT ended the unlimited Prop 48s and partial qualifier policy of the old Big 8, so they couldn’t grab the guys who didn’t have the grades to get in the PAC 10 any more. Most of those dudes you remember from their teams who were All Americans came out of Cali. But yeah, bad coaching had a little to do with it.

ded, he was an ardent Beebee supporter, so that may be why he is (being asked to) stepping aside.

Also, why would the SEC dig themselves into a further legal tangle with Baylor, et al, by accepting them?

Oh sweet Jesus, OU is holding one at 6:30. All sorts of BS floating around now. Most interesting is OU, OSU and Mizzou to SEC as well. No way. People are just saying anything at this point.

Nunya- Colorado had a bunch of difference makers from Cali as well. USC getting all the talent they wanted with Pete Carrol didn’t help the Buffs any either…

Is it a Mizzou PC or a Big 12 PC? Since Deaton is the head of the Big 12 Board maybe he called the PC on behalf of the Big 12 to announce Beebe’s resigination

Ded,
I believe the idea of only 64 teams in four SCs to feed a playoff was to concentrate the money at the top? My impression is that teams would be excluded more on the basis of facilities and tv draw than on performance to-date?

Larry Scott re Boren’s ass-covering statements about not really wanting to move: "I don’t want to contradict anything that they feel they need to say as part of the process they are in."

Have you ever heard a more diplomatic way of stating that someone is completely full of shit.

Back to back OU and Mizzou press conferences. Things may not be over yet. I better get some more popcorn.

West Virginia also has something cooking. My guess:

- Mizzou: “Committed to the Big 12.”
- OU: “Committed to the Big 12 and launching a network.”
- WV: “Applying to Big 12.”

We’ll see. I don’t know anything. Just speculating and hoping.

NORMAN, Okla. — A source with the University of Oklahoma tells SportsXtra’s Daniel Holdge that school officials plan to support the Big 12 at a press conference Thursday night.

From an article out of Oklahoma

KOCO.com will stream it

I think UO belongs with the Deliverance Country rednecks in the S$C.

Please reconsider and leave. We’re tired of you and your intellectually deficient fans.

In an effort to pull my share of the weight around here, I will offer the following information gleaned from watching the Texas Women’s Swim Team perform hot yoga (thanks for the link Spider).

Hot yoga has helped to loosen tight shoulders for one young lady, and the loosening of the spinal cord as a result of these yoga poses held by tight dripping wet young ladies results in stronger dolphin kicks.

That is info that you can only get from the LHN or BC. You can email me my stock options Scip.

Ded,
I hope you are right. I really wish that what is left of the Big12 can be strengthened sufficiently to head off the super conferences. I really like the idea of regional conference and until last year I thought we and the Big12 anchored the mid-continent so very well.

My guess is announcement of Chuck Neinas as commissioner from Deaton. Commitment to Big 12 from OU and network plans. WV board meeting something about applying to Big 12.

At least, that’s how I figure it, if Dodds has handled this astutely as interim commissioner and my above prediction is accurate.

“Hot yoga has helped to loosen tight shoulders for one young lady, and the loosening of the spinal cord as a result of these yoga poses held by tight dripping wet young ladies results in stronger dolphin kicks.”

This is supported by both science and medicine.

burntorangejuice said: September 22nd, 2011 at 3:03 pm
"Hot yoga has helped to loosen tight shoulders for one young lady, and the loosening of the spinal cord as a result of these yoga poses held by tight dripping wet young ladies results in stronger dolphin kicks."

This is supported by both science and medicine.

Yes, and after watching that video I began planking.

ChipBrownOB Chip Brown
Sources tell Orangebloods.com #TCU may now be leading candidate to become school No. 10 in B12…. bit.ly/oD5zGT #hookem #big12

sayeth the mouthpiece!

Beebe just resigned according to Chuck Carlton. On Deck: OU commitment to Big 12. In the Hole: Deaton on the Neinas announcement.

Hmmm, possibly TCU, WV and BYU?

fake dan beebe meltdown is so, so, so good right now

Will be marginally annoyed seeing TCU win multiple “East” titles while we’re slugging through a UT/OU schedule every year.

I can see how that would chafe.

guys. really.

http://twitter.com/#!/DanBeebe

Logan Steelcock, the best new porn name I have heard in a long while, thanks for the laugh!

Deaton announces Beebe resignation.

Fake Beebe Link:

http://twitter.com/#!/DanBeebe

Longhorn network yoga
http://www.oldschoolcaddie.com/content.php?569-LONGHORN-NETWORK-Women-s-Swimming-and-Hot-Yoga

Drunk off my ass on a Thursday night, but I can summarize the last few weeks for you:

1) TEXAS has administrators at the helm who do their fucking due diligence and have talked to everybody.
2) OU and aTm have penis envy like you wouldn’t believe, and have jumped the gun, signing whatever anybody will put in front of them, if it means the remotest of possibilities they can get away from TEXAS.
3) Keep your grimy hands off our LHN. It may take ESPN (one of TEXAS many Delaware registered dummy companies) a year or two to sweat out the carriers, but once we do, this thing is worth more than the PUF, and that’s saying something.
4) The rest of the country is freaking out. TEXAS fans, being members of the public, are also subject to some of this self-same freaking of outetude. However, those in the know at TEXAS have not said much. Why? Because no matter what the eventual outcome, if we have administrators who do their due diligence, TEXAS will be better off than anybody else. Hmmm…. see #1 again. And reach for more pomegranate-mead. This stuff rocks.

Hook’em!

Ded - nice to hear from you. I’ve had to read your stuff on yahoo and you’re more contained there I feel. still good, but with less cursing.
Logan Steelcock. Didn’t that first come from a piece written about ATM’s Christine Michael? That crap was hilarious when I first read it.