Jake Gyllenhaal: A Regular Broadway Joe

Coach Bryant, I wish I knew how to quit you.

The scene where Joe Willie and the Bear run the old “69 Right” together is going to get them an NC-17 rating, for sure.

Why do you think they called him ‘Bear,’ anyway?

Joe Namath is no Tom Penders.

This makes me want to kiss Suzy Kolber.

That was outstanding. Of course you realize Hollywood only knows him from the guest appearance on the John Larroquette show.

In my version Namath is played by Vin Diesel and Kurt Vonnegut.

Was Zack Ephron not available?

With Jake Gyllenhaal involved, somehow this movie will blame Joe’s knees on America. And Bush.

Inspired as always.

I can’t remember the last time you went Ketchum on us and posted a typo so I’ll quietly point out it’s ‘hoosegow’ before someone else does.

Wonder what Joe Willie’s take is on this travesty. Although he’s probably focused on how many extras and production assistants he can nail.

CJD — Maybe ‘bush’ more than ‘Bush’ ;)

They would have been far better off discovering a new actor and casting him as Joe. Hell, Matthew McConaughey, short arms and all, would have been a better choice. Then again, the idiot masses might wonder how Joe Namath became the Marshall coach.

Will Tom Cruise play the Bear?

Flash Gordon was one of the top five movies in history. “NO…Not the bore worms!”

Mr. T would be great as Broadway Joe!

FORGET IT MING, DALE’S WITH ME!

Ed Asner and Ken Davitian (aka Azamat from Borat’s movie) are auditioning for the part of the chinchilla coat.

“he couldn’t carry joe’s jock”
  
  ….gary busey

Zack Ephron is a pussy.

Flash was a pussy. Joe would have cracked down a three way with Dale & Aura while Tim Dalton tugged on his pud & wept.

ONWARD MY BRAVE HAWKMEN! Let this be known forever as Joe Namath’s Day!

ugh. Bonedry? fuck.

I shall dispatch war rocket Ajax to bring back a new defensive coordinator.

Thank you for the kind words, but acutally, Rocky ended the Cold War when he knocked the fuck out of Ivan Drago.

I called Mark Wahlberg personally to go down there and straighten those Hollywood types out - but he said he was too dominatin’ hoes - something I can respect.

Joe would superman those hoes.

That would imply that “those hoes” wouldn’t have sex with Joe Namath. This would be unpossible.

“merkin”? Did you really type “merkin” in a sports story?

wow.

Go Flash Go.

Harvey Fierstine as Unitas?

Rosie O’Donnell as Weeb?

I will carry a javelin, shield and short sword in Scipio’s legion. Lead us, imperator! Roma victa!

Joe Willie was trying to throw a laser 40 yard cross into Suzie Colber. I bet he did after the game.

Suzie’s a frogurt receptacle.

Flash, Flash I love you but we only have 14 hours to find a DC!

You are a disgusting, homophobic pig. Jake Gyllenhaal has more balls than your pathetic little, whiny, ass ever will. You aren’t a man you are a child. Joe Namath oked Jake portraying him. Yeah while he wore fur coats and shaved his legs. Take it up with him and leave Jake, a real man, alone.

Oh and you complain about Jake being a pansy who couldn’t aerate a wog. That was based on a REAL Marine, Tony Swafford. Go call him a pansy because HE was the one who couldn’t aerate a wog, not Jake. You can’t seem to realize fact from fiction. You idiot.

“You can’t seem to realize fact from fiction. You idiot.”
 
Oh, the irony.

Both the intetional and unintentional humor on this site is top notch.

Do any of you guys remember when Richard “John Boy Walton” Thomas played me in a made for TV movie?

That was the worst casting ever

Once I burn’t my shirt ironing…..oh the irony

Joe N. chose Jake.

Link

“MAKING MOVIES: Now we know why Jake Gyllenhaal has been seen tossing around a football so much lately. He’s going to play Joe Namath in a film about ‘’Broadway Joe.’’ Also, it seems the idea of Gyllenhaal’s casting was suggested to the film’s producers by the NFL Hall of Famer himself. Namath is a huge fan of the young actor and wanted him for the role over others being considering, including Mark Wahlberg and Josh Hartnett.”

Heath, you’re not ugly. Just protective.

well, if the competition was marky mark and josh hartnett, then this isn’t really that bad.

“That was based on a REAL Marine, Tony Swafford. Go call him a pansy”

Email me his phone number, I’ll call him a pansy. I’ll call him names that will make him cry. Like shithead, that always works at family reunions. Grandma gets to talking about how when she was a little girl she had a pony, I just bust out with “Hey shithead, shut the fuck up and eat your vegetables or you’re going back in the basement” and yeah, she shuts up and cries.

Plenty more where that come from.

Gyllenhaal? Are you kidding? Keanu Reeves must have been busy.

Come on, Dirk Diggler would be a much better choice for Namath. Let’s face you gotta have the cool of Dean Martin while being able to pull off a feather boa.

I’m sorry, but if you can kiss another man as a professional actor and do a sex scene with him, you are in no way qualified to play a drunk macho smirk encrusted skirt hound.

Having Gyllenhaal play Namath is be like having Howie Long being portrayed by Mango.

All we will be thinking while watching the movie is……hey isn’t that Heath Ledger’s rodeo queen up there?

I’ll have to turn away if he licks his fingers before he goes under center. I’m scarred enough already from his handiwork as a cowboy.

I want to watch a football movie, now I’ll find myself enduring another Gyllenhaal flashback cringe flick.

Thanks for ruining westerns for me forever Hollywood, and hey why not throw football onto the man on man campaign for the mainstream…..gack

I think I just threw up a little……

I honestly have never heard or seen Gyllenhaal act, but I find it ironic that so many MANLY men on this site are bashing the guy for acting in so many UNMANLY movies they have seen!!

IRONY I say!

David Hasselhoff can delete the Recycling Bin.

You know, I think he did win.

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